- Hello and welcome back to
Therapist Reacts to Claire Dunphy on Modern Family.
I've got a special guest.
As before, Alicia, our CEO and fearless leader.
Talking about Claire, because Claire is a lot like you.
- What?
- Well, like you, Claire was a driven, career-oriented,
and results and tasks-oriented woman.
- Mm-hm.
- Stayed at home for a while.
- Mm-hm.
- As a mom, nearly drove her up the wall.
- The struggle is real.
- And then she reentered, and exploded back onto the scene.
There's a lot of Claire Dunphy, Alicia Decker similarities.
Let's watch.
(upbeat music)
- And that's with painted nails.
- But improper stance.
- Practice more. - Okay.
Thank you.
Um, you'll have to excuse me,
I'm a little nervous,
I've never been on the radio before.
- Don't worry about it.
Just think of it as a conversation.
- Okay.
- I think this is where she's running for office.
- Volume control.
Don't get too far - Do you remember that?
- from the mic. - Okay.
- Make sure your cell phone's off.
- Oh, cell phone, right.
- You're not chewing gum, are you?
- No, I'm not.
I just had some temporary dental work done.
The last thing I- (mic rattles) Oh!
(upbeat music plays)
- And welcome back to 'A Matter of Record'.
I'm Cecil Van Gundy. - Didn't even apologize.
- Joining us now in studio
is District 43 Town Council candidate Claire Dunphy.
- She really sold that stunt. - Thank you Cecil.
It's a pleasure to be here. (Jonathan laughs)
- So you're a first-time candidate.
Tell us what got you involved.
- It all started with a, um (Jonathan laughing)
a stop sign.
I was concerned about safety in our neighborhood
and I was not getting any satisfaction from City Hall.
- What's wrong with Mom?
- Oh, this isn't good.
- She sounds drunk.
- That's not her drunk voice. (Alicia laughs)
- And tell us about some of the other issues
facing our town.
Where do you stand on the city's
sewage and sustainability initiative?
The so-called SSI?
- One cannot really talk about
sewage and sustainability without first
discussing recycling. (Alicia laughs)
- Once I hit the coast highway (Jonathan laughs)
I didn't stop.
I turned off my cell phone,
I ate fish tacos for lunch.
It was insane.
I haven't felt that for freaking years.
All my stress completely disappeared
and so did my keys.
- Oh gosh (laughs).
Okay, let's talk really fast though, about the need,
especially as somebody who,
I'm working on
doing more, because for so long you've been like
the champion of the family,
which isn't to say that I haven't worked
or that I don't work hard or that I've been lazy,
but just there's so much that you do and that
I've, like Phil, just kind of let you handle
because I'm like, well, she's got it.
- Mm. - And
realizing just more and and more,
I've always seen you as superhuman,
and that was (Alicia laughs)
really convenient for me.
You know, it was really convenient for me,
that idea and coming to recognize more and more,
oh no, she's as human as anybody else.
- Yes. - And everybody's,
and everyone's got limits
and everyone's got breaking points,
and like I say, I'm very much stepping into spaces
I haven't stepped into before
- Mm-hmm - because it's necessary.
But I look at her before she loses her keys,
- Yeah.
- and just the idea of turning off her cell phone
and just driving, just being with herself, and-
- It'd be shrimp tacos,
but it'd still be the beach. (laughs)
- Yeah, yeah (laughs).
I was gonna say, I love that,
'cos for you it would be shrimp tacos, but
close enough and definitely the beach.
So for someone like you
who feels, and is responsible for so many things,
- Yeah.
- how important is it for you to unplug
or to take time for yourself and what does that look like?
- Yeah, so something that I recently realized
- Mm-hmm.
- because I am a very self-disciplined person,
and so we all have to find the balance
in our own lives and in our traits, right?
And whatever that balance looks like,
that's not for me to come and say,
'Well Jonathan, this is what balance
looks like in your life',
- Yeah. - you know, for you,
or to go to my kids and say,
'Hey, this is what balance looks like for you.'
I definitely have had conversations with my kids
where I say, 'Hey, your life's looking imbalanced
and this is why.
Like, what do we need to do?'
But it's not my job to go to someone else's life and say,
'Here's what you need to do differently'.
- Yeah. - And so for myself,
like self-discipline and focus and responsibility
is always something that I've leaned into,
it's always something I've thrived with,
and so I've accomplished a lot at a very young age
but there's an unhealthy side to that
when it goes too far. - Yeah.
- And that's where I've had to say,
'Hey, I don't have very good balance in my life.'
And so I went away for a week to stay at a resort
by myself and to work.
Someday I'm gonna go on a vacation where I don't work
at all. - Where you don't have to
work at all, yeah.
- That day's happening soon.
But I met just the sweetest mother, daughter,
adult daughter, mother,
you know, she's in her mid twenties,
mom, probably in her mid fifties.
And we would go to dinner together
and the daughter and I had very similar personalities,
and the mother was Korean American,
but just that very driven,
- Yeah. - you know, perspective.
- Similar to you, yeah.
- Yeah, and so when the daughter asked me,
she goes, 'You know, if you could go back
to your younger self and give them advice,
what would you do?
You know, what would you say?'
And I said, you know, I wish that I had,
I appreciated my parents' support of me
and in the things that I did and
going to college young and all the accomplishments
that I had, like I appreciated that,
but I wish I had someone who said to me,
'Hey, your life is looking out of balance.'
- Yeah.
- Like, there's more to life than just accomplishment.
There's more to life than just hitting goals.
There's more to life
than sacrificing yourself just to take care of everyone else
just because you can do it.
And so, you know, now, what does that look like as an adult?
Because there is very much so aspects of my life
that I'm like, that's not what I want it to look like.
- Yeah.
- And so kind of digging myself out of the holes
that didn't work for me.
But on the outside, culturally,
all those things are praised.
- Well, in drawing boundaries for yourself,
you know, you've said to me, I'm done putting myself last.
And what that has looked like practically
is still a work in progress, - Mm-hmm.
- but that was a very meaningful day,
not just for you, but I think for our whole family
of like, we can't burn mom out.
You know - Mm.
- we have to make sure that you are doing the things
for you that you want to do,
the things that you enjoy doing.
Like going to a resort for a week and making new friends.
(Alicia laughs) I loved
talking on the phone with you that week
and just hearing about your adventures.
That was so cool and special,
so just don't lose your keys.
- Every new generation thinks
they have cracked the code on child-rearing.
What's the latest theory?
Never say no.
I say no every day in this house.
- But at night she's a yes machine.
- No. (Jonathan and Alicia laugh)
(Jonathan continues laughing)
- There's a lot of Phil in me,
where I just say the things
that are not especially appropriate to say.
And at this point, you're much more keen on just like, this.
But earlier on you're like, why?
Why would you say that?
I've learned to rein it in a bit,
but there's also for you, just like,
rolling with, this is just my husband.
- I'm pretty sure I've always
just rolled my eyes at you. (laughs)
- (laughs) Yeah, that's fair.
Saying no.
- Mm-hm. - Saying no as a parent.
- Mm-hm.
- I, as the party parent,
as you labeled me
- Mm-hm - in the last video,
I have a hard time saying no.
That's not true.
I have a hard time saying no and sticking to it,
because oftentimes with our children,
what I think I'm giving the final answer,
- Mm-hm. - they think
that's my starting offer.
- Mm-hm. - You know,
and I'm getting better at not caving,
but they don't even bother with you.
They just know, like,
- Yeah.
- Yeah,
work in progress over here.
This video's about you, not about me.
- Sure. I had a little peppermint schnapps at my prom
but I hid it from my parents,
and I kicked my boyfriend out before they woke up.
It's called respect.
(Alicia laughs)
- I'm pregnant.
- (gasps) You're gonna get fat.
(Jonathan laughs)
Oh, okay.
It's great, it's great!
You're pregnant!
That's great, congratulations!
(Gloria laughs)
Wow. - It was a surprise.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
What did my dad say?
- I haven't told him yet.
I worry that he's going to think it's not such great news.
- Oh no, don't be silly.
He's gonna be thrilled.
I knew he wasn't gonna be thrilled
and if history was any indication,
he wasn't gonna be able to hide it.
- It's a French Canadian delicacy called 'poutine'.
- Well, it looks like vomit,
so I'm not putting it in my mouth.
(Jonathan laughs) (fork clangs)
We're here.
- Hi.
- What'd you do to your hair?
- I thought I'd try something different.
- What, look old?
- I had to get to Dad
before he said something insensitive to Gloria.
She's gonna get really fat though.
(Jonathan laughs)
- She looks great, doesn't she?
- Yeah.
Not really gaining weight the way I would've expected.
- I finally understand why people say pregnant women glow.
- Phil, I've had three children.
- I finally get it (laughs).
- And my dad has three tattoos.
Like, why?
You're a dad.
- Ew, it's so sad when parents try.
My mom double pierced one of her ears and I'm like,
'Hello, you're 50.'
So old, like ancient to have
an ear piercing at 50. - Mm, Mm.
Yeah, you two decide to go to the dance?
- Well, yeah, but not really.
- But yeah. - What?
- We're going ironically to make fun of all the kids
who make a big deal out of it.
- Ironic, my ass.
Alex likes Drew.
She's just playing it safe.
Now there are the pushy, obnoxious moms
who try and get involved,
nudge them towards one another. (laughs)
We mean well. (Jonathan laughs)
I have a head for business and a bod for sin.
- Yes you do.
- Ew, this is a common area.
(Jonathan laughs)
- I've been taking magic lessons as a Valentine's surprise.
- Wait a minute, the supposed hinge salesman at your office?
- The great Majesto!
- Of course, I didn't recognize him
without his floor length robe covered in question marks.
- And we also really do have a reservation
at that really nice place down the street
so we should probably get your check.
Excuse me, can we get the check?
- But are you really dressed?
(papers rustling)
So wonderful.
(Jonathan laughs)
- (laughs) Come on honey, we should get going.
- Wait, do you have the key?
- No, but you do.
(Jonathan laughs)
- I don't deserve you.
- That's adorable.
- You've never done magic,
but you've done magical things for my birthday.
- Is magic your thing?
- No, but for my birthday and for Valentine's Day,
you're very thoughtful and you're very sweet,
and like Phil, I don't deserve you,
but I'm working on it every day.
So thank you for this.
Thank you for joining us as we have watched and enjoyed
learning about Claire Dunphy aka Alicia Decker.
Who do you think she resembles as far as her personality?
What pop culture character do you think is her?
Who are you?
Who's your doppelganger?
We're not talking about looks per se,
we're talking about who do you relate to personality wise?
Like I am Baloo from the Jungle Book.
(Alicia laughs)
If you enjoyed this and missed the first one,
we react to Claire Dunphy,
check that video out right now.
Until next time, keep shining,
we need your light.
- [Alicia] Yay.
- [Jonathan] And there's the video.
Don't touch that, touch the video.
Watch it.
You're not going to the toilet,
you're not going to the kitchen.
Okay, but just take your phone with you and watch the video.
Ew.