First up on the show I have a very important correction raised by a number of irate Games
of Thrones fans. Last week when I jokingly mentioned some of the women from Game of Thrones
I referred to the mother of dragons as Khaleesi but as Fredrik Ingren-Ahlman points out, 'Her
name is actually Daenerys Targaryen, also known as Daenerys Stormborn. Khaleesi is Doth'Raki
-duh-for "Queen".' George R. R. Martin, sorry about it.
Wanted to address comment from a couple weeks ago from My Life as Louie who asked, 'I really
like to know why do women traditionally have long hair and men short hair?' I liked question
so much that I made it two videos, one looking at men's hair and one looking at women's hair
and they came out this past week and so I hope that you watched them and enjoyed them
and if you have any more questions about hair let me know in the comments below. Thanks
to everybody who commented on last week's Ask Cristen video 'Saying No to Sex'. Yet
again I was blown away by the level of thoughtful discussion. Something that came up in the
comments was how all this plays into longer term relationships. Sugarapplesweet said,
'Do you know what needs to be talked about more? Saying no to sex while you're in a committed
relationship and I don't mean in the beginning either. Saying no to a long-time sexual partner
when you don't feel up to it. I sometimes have to remind myself that it's okay to say
no to my partner when I don't want sex and I always wonder why I hesitate'. Yasmeenascreamer
said, 'Had the same thing with my relationship of three years. Felt like I shouldn't say
no, even when I was exhausted or we were a bit off with each other and I still felt sour
although we were okay again...It's weird how even with someone you love and loves you,
you still have that pressure.' Karina Bertrand asks,' How do those ladies in relationships
deal with boyfriend acting pouty or outright angry about you saying no to sex? One side
of me feels like I'm not "pleasing" my boyfriend enough but the other side of me is like "no
f*** him I do/don't do what I want.' I think one of the misunderstandings about sex and
relationships is okay, it is the barometer of health. If you are having sex all the time
in your relationship that means that you guys are like super off the charts happy and doing
great. If you're not having enough sex even though who says what is enough sex, it's a
sign that you're not okay, that you're boring, you're not right for each other. Maybe we
should adjust our thinking if you're in more of a long-term relationship of sex not just
being a barometer of the overall health but rather maybe it's a barometer of your communication
health. Does one person become passive-aggressive if their sexual needs aren't being met, can
you talk about it in a way to make sure that even if you don't necessarily want to have
intercourse that their are ways that that partner can still be sexually satisfied? It's
absolutely okay to say no to sex to someone that you've been in a relationship with for
a long time, but I think it's important for you to keep their needs in mind and for them
to keep your needs in mind as well. This brings up a really good observation too made by ColurbridKing
who says, 'With this topic in mind, I think it is important to consider that it is okay
for guys to say no as well.' Yes, it's absolutely important to remember that hey, sometimes
guys don't want to have sex. That's the thing about relationships. You're dealing with two
people. No matter whatever kind of romantic match-up you're dealing with, the fundamental
fact of the matter is that consent should reign. And it is possible through open and
honest communication and perhaps a little bit of creativity for both parties needs to
be met even if that doesn't necessarily involve you having sex. It doesn't always take two
to tango but it does take the both of you to make sure that you're maintaining a healthy
relationship. If your partner does not respect that you don't want to have sex, tries to
force you to do something that you don't want to do, tries to guilt you into, tries to tell
you that that's your responsibility, there are plenty of fish in the sea right? I want
to hear from you, how do you handle times when you don't want to have sex in a relationships
and what other questions would you like me to tackle on Ask Cristen? What should I talk
about next week? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay fantastic and thanks
for watching.