HERE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: HAPPY FRIDAY,
EVERYBODY!
I’M WEARING GLASSES BECAUSE I
HAVE A STY.
THOUGHT I’D GET THAT OUT OF
THE WAY, ALL RIGHT?
HERE IS THE STUPID
INFURIATING, IDIOTIC STORY
WHICH ONLY MEANS IT BUBBLED UP
FROM ACADEMIA.
HAPPENED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
PITTSBURGH’S CATHEDRAL OF
LEARNING WHERE A FOO FEMALE
STUDENT WAS ALLEGEDLY SEXUALLY
ASSAULTED DURING SCHOOL HOURS.
THAT’S BAD ENOUGH, BUT IT GETS
WORSE!
STUDENTS UNDERSTANDABLY
HORRIFIED DEMANDED INCREASED
SECURITY ON CAMPUS.
ONE ANONYMOUS STUDENT CREATED
A PETITION THAT GARNERED 6,000
SIGNATURES ASKING FOR MORE
SECURITY CAMERAS AND MORE
STRINGENT I.D. ACCESS PASSES.
THE UNIVERSITY QUICKLY
RESPONDED WITH AN E-MAIL FROM
THE VICE CHANCELLOR OF PUBLIC
SAFETY AND EMERGENCY
MANAGEMENT.
REMEMBER THE OLD RULE, THE
LONGER THE TITLE, THE LESS
THEY ACTUALLY DO.
IN THE E-MAIL, THE VC PROMISED
THEY’D TAKE ADDITIONAL ACTIONS
INCREASING PATROLS AND
SECURITY SHIFTS MEANING MORE
COPS.
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED
NEXT?
HINT, IT ALWAYS HAPPENS WHEN
COMMON SENSE RUNS HEAD FIRST
INTO THE WHITTLES WOKE --
WITLES WOKE.
STUPID, DESTRUCTIVE OUTRAGE.
EVENTUALLY CAUSING DESTRUCTION
OF SOMEONE ELSE WHO WAS DOING
THE RIGHT THING.
SO A BACKLASH CAME FROM
STUDENTS WHO CLAIMED THE
INCREASING POLICE PRESENCE
WOULD THREATEN THE SAFETY OF
STUDENTS OF COLOR.
AS OPPOSED TO, YOU KNOW,
WANNA-BE RAPISTS.
I DIDN’T REALIZE PITT WAS A
SCHOOL FOR THE MENTALLY
CHALLENGED.
WHAT DO THESE STUDENTS HAVE TO
DO TO GET ADMITTED?
SKETCH A TURTLE OR A PIRATE?
I TRIED THAT.
SO, AFTER A SEXUAL ASSAULT
SOME STUDENTS WERE MORE
CONCERNED OVER THE PRESENCE OF
POLICE THAN THE PRESENCE OF A
RAPIST.
OF COURSE, THIS IS WHAT
HAPPENS WHEN THE MEDIA
DISTORTS THE ODDS OF POLICE
SHOOTING.
COLLEGE KIDS PREFER RAPISTS,
CLASSROOMS AREN’T SAFE DURING
SCHOOL AND COPS ARE AS POPULAR
AS A FART IN A HOT TUB, AND I
KNOW THAT.
DONE A LOT OF RESEARCH IN THAT
AREA.
WHICH REMINDS US COLLEGE
CAMPUSES ARE NOT JUST GUN-FREE
ZONES, THEY’RE ALSO BRAIN-FREE
ZONES.
SO HERE YOU GOT A MICROCOSM OF
WHAT YOU’RE SEEING NOW IN
EVERY CITY. MICROCOSM MEANS A SMALL SAMPLE
MICROCOSM MEANS A SMALL SAMPLE
OF A BIGGER PROBLEM.
WITH CRIME OUT OF CONTROL AND
WITH SO MANY FEMALE VICTIMS,
WHERE ARE THE FEMINISTS?
WHY ARE THEY SO AFRAID OF
CALLING OUT REPEAT THUGS WHO
VICIOUSLY BRUTALIZE WOMEN?
EVEN WHEN ATTACKERS ARE
ARRESTED, THEY’RE LET FREE
IMMEDIATELY, AND THEIR ONLY
PUNISHMENT IS THAT THEY’RE
LATE FOR THEIR NEXT ATTACK.
HERE IS THE REASON... FEMALE
VICTIM IS NOW SECONDARY TO THE
MANTRA OF SYSTEMIC RACISM.
FOR A LONG TIME, IT’S BEEN A
DOG FIGHT FOR FIRST PLACE ON
TOP OF THE VICTIM TOTEM POLE,
BUT SORRY, GALS, BEING
CONSIDERED RACIALLY OPPRESSED
IS THE EQUIVALENT OF DRAWING A
ROYAL FLUSH IN POKER.
NO OTHER HAND CAN TRUMP IT.
SO IF YOU ARE IN THE WRONG
GROUP, YOU CAN’T BE A VICTIM
EVEN WHEN YOU’RE A VICTIM AND
IF YOU COMPLAIN, OF COURSE YOU
MUST BE RACIST.
IN THE WORLD OF SOCIAL
JUSTICE, VIOLENT FELONS CAN BE
BUSTED AND RELEASED WITHOUT
BAIL IN HOURS BECAUSE SOCIETY
DID IT TO HIM.
AFTER EACH SENSELESS ATTACK,
AS ALWAYS, THE PERP’S LENGTHY
WRAP SHEET IS LONGER THAN A
RECEIPT FROM WALGREENS.
DON’T ADD POLICE BECAUSE THAT
WILL HURT FEELINGS.
THEY’LL HAVE A SAFE SPACE FOR
ALTERNATE IDEAS BUT NOT
RAPISTS.
USING YOUR LOGIC IF YOU’RE AT
AN ATM LATE NIGHT, YOU’RE
BETTER OFF IF THE GUY BEHIND
YOU IS WEARING A SKI MASK THAN
A CRIME HAT.
IT’S A NEW HIERARCHY.
NO MORE GOOD OVER EVIL BUT
RACIAL JUSTICE OVER ACTUAL
JUSTICE.
SO AFTER THIS MORONIC
BACKLASH, THE PERSON WHO
LAUNCHED THE PETITION DEPLETED
IT AND APOLOGIZED LIKE A FOOL,
"THE FACT THAT IT SEEMS LIKE
MORE CAMPUS COPS ARE BEING
ADDED BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I
DID MAKES ME A MONSTER, AND I
KNOW THAT."
NOW, IN A NORMAL WORLD,
MEANING A WORLD WITHOUT
PROGRESSIVES, THESE VERY EXACT
WORDS WOULD BE COMING OUT OF
THE SUSPECT’S MOUTH.
SO I’LL REPEAT THE WORDS.
THE FACT THAT IT SEEMS LIKE
MORE CAMPUS COPS ARE BEING
ADDED BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I
DID MAKES ME A MONSTER, AND I
KNOW THAT.
THE 18-YEAR-OLD THEN ADDS, "I
DON’T THINK I’LL COME BACK TO
CAMPUS MONDAY.
I’M CONSIDERING ACADEMIC LEAVE
OR TRANSFERRING TO ANOTHER
SCHOOL, IF THAT’S POSSIBLE."
WELL HOW ABOUT PRESCHOOL?
THIS POOR THINGS NEEDS ANOTHER
CHANCE TO GROW UP.
[APPLAUSE]
LET’S WELCOME TONIGHT’S GUESTS
GUESTS.
THIS KANE HAS PROVED HE’S MORE
THAN ABLE... A LITTLE BIBLE
HUMOR, PEOPLE.
CO-HOST AND "FOX & FRIENDS
WEEKEND" WILL CAIN.
HER FAVORITE CANDY IS
BUTTERSCOTCH MINUS THE BUTTER
--
[LAUGHTER]
-- FOX NEWS ANCHOR -- HA-HA --
JULIE.
HA-HA.
YOU’RE MAD AT ME.
THEY SAY LESS IS MORE, BUT
THIS MORE IS NEVER ENOUGH.
AUTHOR OF "SO YOU HAVE BEEN TO SENSITIVE DIVERSITY TRAINING,"
SENSITIVE DIVERSITY TRAINING,"
CHADWICK MOORE.
THIS IS A GREAT INTRO I NEVER
SAW.
SHE’S LIKE CANADA, WHITE,
ALWAYS COLD AND PEOPLE OFTEN
FORGET SHE’S THERE.
THAT’S REALLY GOOD!
[APPLAUSE]
KAT, YOU LOOK LIKE A VERY
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIST
RIGHT NOW WITH --
>> I KIND OF AM IN MY SPARE
TIME.
THEY JUST DON’T PAY ME.
>> Greg: DOES THIS PISS YOU
OFF?
THIS WHOLE THING?
IT’S HARD TO MAKE JOKES
BECAUSE AT THE BASE OF THIS IS
A SEXUAL ASSAULT OBVIOUSLY,
BUT PEOPLE ACTUALLY SAY WE
DON’T WANT PROTECTION FROM
RAPISTS BECAUSE THAT MIGHT
OFFEND PEOPLE.
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
ABSOLUTELY.
I MEAN, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE,
LIKE, SUPER PRO-COP TO CHOOSE
SEEING A COP OVER BEING RAPED.
I THINK THAT’S A PRETTY NORMAL
WAY TO MAKE THAT DECISION.
AND -- YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
THAT THE STATEMENT DID SOUND
LIKE IT CAME FROM THE RAPIST.
>> Greg: YES!
>> I’M A MONSTER, AND I MAY
NEVER RETURN TO THIS CAMPUS
AGAIN.
LIKE -- THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE
A GREAT POINT OF VIEW FROM
THAT GUY.
HE PROBABLY SHOULDN’T COME
BACK, AND HE IS A MONSTER.
I THINK IT’S JUST ABSOLUTELY
INSANE.
AND, AGAIN, I’M NOT SOMEBODY
-- I THINK THERE’S PLENTY OF
THINGS THAT, YOU KNOW, ARE
CRIMES THAT SHOULDN’T BE
CRIMES.
I THINK THAT POLICE NEED TO
FOCUS ON REAL CRIMES.
AT THE TOP OF THAT LIST IS
DEFINITELY A VIOLENT SEXUAL
ASSAULT.
>> Greg: YEAH.
>> I HOPE SOMEONE TALKS TO THE
KID.
I HOPE THE KID HAS SOMEBODY TO
TALK TO.
I MEAN, DID HE SHOW THAT
STATEMENT TO ANYONE BEFORE HE
WROTE IT?
>> Greg: I HAVE NO IDEA AND
I STILL DON’T EVEN KNOW THE
WHEREABOUTS OF THE RAPIST, IF
THEY GOT ANY -- THIS STORY --
>> APPARENTLY ON THE BOTTOM OF
THE PRIORITY LIST.
>> Greg: YEAH.
GOT TO FIND OUT WHAT HE LOOKED
LIKE.
JULIE, I’D BE HAPPY TO SEE A
POLICE OFFICER OR A STRIPPER
DRESSED AS A POLICE OFFICER
RATHER THAN A STUDENT.
>> QUICKLY, BECAUSE THE
DESCRIPTION WAS REALLY
PRECISE, HE’S WEARING A
BACKPACK.
>> Greg: NO, HE’S BLACK.
HE HAD SHORT, CURLY HAIR AND A
SHIRT.
>> I SAW THE BACKPACK BECAUSE
I DON’T SEE COLOR.
>> Greg: YOU DON’T, BUT YOU
PROBABLY SAW THE MAJORITY OF
THE PRESS.
>> I DID!
>> Greg: I SAW THE POLICE
DESCRIPTION, BUT I BET IT
DIDN’T GET TO WHERE YOU SAW
IT.
>> IT DEFINITELY DIDN’T GET TO
IT BECAUSE YOU WON’T ACTUALLY
BELIEVE WHAT I SAW.
WHEN I SAW THE HEADLINE WOMEN
ACTUALLY ASSAULTED IN PITTS
CATHEDRAL OF LEARNING, I WAS
LIKE BRAD PITT SEXUALLY
ASSAULTED SOMEBODY?
ONCE I REALIZED THAT WASN’T
TRUE, I WAS QUITE RELIEVED.
THEN I ACTUALLY READ THE STORY
AND I WAS ENRAGED.
IT WAS DISGUSTING.
I RAGE AGAINST THE WOKE THAT
DON’T SUPPORT OUR POLICE.
OUR POLICE ARE UNDER ATTACK.
WHY?
NOT ONLY POLITICIANS BUT KIDS
BEING RAISED TO BE ANTI-COPS.
THESE COLLEGE STUDENTS ARE A
PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW
DESPICABLE IT IS THAT WE’RE
RAISING PEOPLE THAT DON’T
BELIEVE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT.
THEY’RE HERE TO PROTECT YOU.
HAVING A COP ON CAMPUS IS WAY
MORE OFFENSIVE THAN BEING
SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN A
STAIRWELL.
>> Greg: WILL, IT REALLY IS
AN AGREEMENT WHAT JULIE SAID.
THERE’S SOMETHING ACTUALLY
TRUTHFUL TO WHAT SHE SAID.
SURPRISE!
>> REALLY?
>> Greg: I KNOW!
IT IS AN ACHIEVEMENT OF THE
RADICAL LEFT THAT NOW WE LIVE
IN A WORLD WHERE YOUNG PEOPLE
BELIEVE POLICE ARE MORE
HARMFUL THAN CRIMINALS.
THAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU TRY
TO PUSH INTO SOCIETY IN ORDER
TO DESTROY IT.
>> YES, BUT IT’S NOT SOMETHING
THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE.
I THINK THAT’S SOMETHING THAT
PEOPLE PRETEND TO BELIEVE,
THAT COPS ARE ACTUALLY A
THREAT TO THEIR LIFE.
THIS STORY IS FULL OF FEAR
FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, BUT IT’S
NOT ACTUALLY FEAR OF COPS NOR
FEAR OF THE RACIST OR THE
RAPIST, IT’S BEING FEARED OF
BEING CALLED A RACIST.
IT’S FEAR OF BEING OSTRACIZED.
THE KID YOU WROTE THAT LETTER
YOU TALK ABOUT IS GOING TO THE
GREATEST LENGTHS POSSIBLE OF
SELF-FLAGELLATION.
I’M A MONSTER.
I’M TAKING A LEAVE OF ABSENCE.
I MAY TRANSFER.
DOES ANYBODY ELSE NEED
ANYTHING ELSE HERE?
WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP THE MOB
FROM COMING AFTER ME?
HE’S MORE TERRIFIED OF BEING
OSTRACIZED THAN HE IS OF A
RACIST -- RAPIST -- I KEEP
HE’S MIXING THOSE WORDS.
ONE LAST NOTE.
I MUST HAVE READ THE SAME
STORY JULIE READ.
ALL I SAW AS A DESCRIPTION OF
THE PERPETRATOR I WAS
BACKPACK.
>> Greg: I COULDN’T FIND
ANYTHING.
ONE OF THE STAFFERS WENT AND
LOOKED AND FOUND THE POLICE
REPORT, AND IT’S VERY SPECIFIC
HOW THE PERSON LOOKS, BUT THAT
-- THAT --
>> THEY LEFT IT OUT.
THEY LEFT IT OUT.
>> THEY LEFT IT OUT.
>> YEAH.
>> I’M TELLING YOU, IT WAS A
BLACK BACKPACK.
THEY DIDN’T MENTION THE RACE.
I’M TELLING YOU.
I READ IT.
I WAS LOOKING FOR BRAD PITT IN
THE ARTICLE.
>> Greg: THEY SHOULD ROUND
UP EVERYBODY WITH A BLACK
BACKPACK.
>> YEAH.
>> I ALSO SAW THAT THE KID
THAT WROTE THAT LETTER WAS AN
ENGLISH MAJOR.
>> HA!
I KNOW.
>> OK, I ONLY SAW ONE OF HIS
ESSAYS TO BE FAIR BUT -- I
DON’T THINK IT’S GOING TO WORK
OUT.
>> Greg: THE KID THINKS HIS
LIFE IS RUINED BECAUSE WHAT HE
DID IS HELPED TO GET MORE
SECURITY ON CAMPUS AND FOR
THAT, HE THINKS HE’S THE
MONSTER.
IT’S ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING
THINGS -- CHADWICK, I BET YOU
WISH THIS WAS IN YOUR BOOK.
>> I DO.
I DO.
>> Greg: WHEN DOES YOUR BOOK
COME OUT?
>> IT’S OUT NOW.
I HAVE A COPY FOR YOU.
I CAN’T WAIT TO GIVE IT TO
YOU.
>> Greg: I’M REALLY BUSY BUT
-- YOU KNOW I HAVE AN EYE
INFECTION SO I WON’T BE
READING ANYTHING FOR A NUMBER
OF YEARS.
UM --
>> THE THING IS THAT THEY WILL
STILL OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO SHAME
ON DEPENDING ON THE POLICE TO
BRING IN THIS PERPETRATOR BUT
THEY DON’T WANT TO SEE THEM ON
CAMPUS.
>> Greg: WHAT IF THEIR PHONE
GETS STOLEN?
>> WHO DO YOU THINK WILL TRACK THIS GUY DOWN?
THIS GUY DOWN?
A CRACK TEAM OF GENDER STUDY
DEFENDERS?
THEY’LL STILL BE REQUIRED TO
DO THE SECURITY.
IT’S LIKE WE DON’T WANT TO SEE
YOU BUT PLEASE DO THE WORK
THAT’S VITAL TO US.
YOU KNOW?
>> Greg: THIS REMINDS ME OF
THE POLITICIAN IN SEATTLE WHO
WAS 100% BEHIND DEFUNDING THE
POLICE UNTIL SOMEONE STARTED
THROWING HUMAN EXCREMENT ON
HER PORCH.
THEN SHE CALLED THE COPS AND
WANTED TO DO FORENSIC TESTING
ON THE FECES.
NOT MINE.
[LAUGHTER]
I DON’T GIVE THAT STUFF AWAY
FOR FREE.
[LAUGHTER]