>>> THIS IS THE HALLMARK CHANNEL.
YOU'RE WATCHING IRONICALLY, BUT THE MONEY'S STILL GREEN, BABY.
NEXT UP IS OUR ALL-NEW HOLIDAY MATCHMAKING SHOW.
>> HI, I'M EMILY KRINGLE. AND THIS IS HALLMARK'S WINTER
BOYFRIEND FOR HOLIDAY CHRISTMAS. THE ONLY DATING SHOW CREATED BY
THE ALGORITHM THAT MAKES HALLMARK'S HOLIDAY MOVIES.
LET'S MEET OUR BACHELORETTES. SHE'S A NEW YORK SIX AND A
BUFFALO TEN. IT'S LAUREN.
>> WHAT'S THAT, BOSS? MORE WORK?
ON IT. >> OH, I'M SORRY.
I HAVE TO WRITE AN ARTICLE FOR THE PAPER ABOUT HOW SANTA ISN'T
REAL. THE LAST THING I'M LOOKING FOR
IS A GUY. >> OH, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
LET'S MEET OUR HOLIDAY HUNKS. >> HI, I'M BRIAN FROM YOUR HOME
TOWN. I WORK AT A CHRISTMAS TREE FARM
THAT MIGHT GET BOUGHT OUT BY GOOGISOFT COMPUTERS UNLESS WE
CAN COME UP WITH THE MONEY BY CHRISTMAS.
>> HELLO. I'M PRINCE SIMON OF CAUCASIA.
I'VE NEGOTIATED A PEACE TREATY WITH OUR NEIGHBORS IN ASSTOPIA.
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, I CAN'T SIGN IT UNLESS I'M MARRIED BY
CHRISTMAS. >> HO, HO, HO, LO!
I'M NICK ST. CLAUS AND I WORK ONE DAY A YEAR.
MY CO-WORKERS ARE, HOW DO I SAY THIS, A LITTLE SHORT.
I'M NOT SANTA. >> WOW, THOSE ARE HUNKS.
LAUREN, WHOEVER YOU PICK WILL JOIN YOU IN THE HALLMARK GAZEBO
SUITE WHERE YOU'LL SHARE A SINGLE DRY KISS.
SO, WHO GETS THE FIRST QUESTION? >> I'LL START WITH ROYALTY.
PRINCE SIMON, I LIVE IN STOCK FOOTAGE OF NEW YORK CITY THAT
STILL HAS THE TWIN TOWERS IN IT. BUT CAUCASIA SOUNDS INCREDIBLE.
WHAT IS IT LIKE? >> WELL, THERE'S SNOWY MOUNTAINS
AND WE ALL HAVE BRITISH ACCENTS, SO YOU KNOW, VAGUE EUROPE.
>> WOW. THAT'S DREAMY.
>> LET'S TO GO NICK. MY EX FIANCE ANSWERED WORK
EMAILS ON CHRISTMAS. PLEASE, TELL ME YOU TAKE
CHRISTMAS OFF. >> YEAH, THAT'S GOING TO BE A
PROBLEM BECAUSE I WORK IN THE GIFT INDUSTRY.
SO IT HAPPENS TO BE MY BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR.
>> OKAY. THAT'S SANTA.
NO, BRIAN, YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING MEANINGFUL PHRASES AND YOU'RE
AFRAID OF FIRE. BE REAL WITH ME.
ARE YOU A GHOST? >> THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M A HOT GHOST. AND YES, MY THING IS INVISIBLE.
>> WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. >> WELL, LAUREN, ANY
FRONT-RUNNERS? >> WELL, I'M LEANING TOWARD THE
PRINCE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE HE >> THE PRINCE IS IN LOVE WITH
YOU. GO GET YOUR MAN
>> OH, THANKS. WHAT DO YOU DO OVER THE
HOLIDAYS? >> I CLAP WHEN HE KISS.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO. OH, AND THAT CHIME MEANS IT'S
ALMOST CHRISTMAS. IF YOU HAVEN'T CHOSEN SOMEONE TO
MARRY BY THEN, CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED.
AND IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS FINAL QUESTION.
WHAT IS THIS? >> CHRISTMAS FORK?
A TRIDENT? A DREIDL?
>> JUDGES? >> YEP, WE'LL ALLOW IT.
>> I WON! I WON.
>> I JUST DON'T KNOW. TO GIVE UP MY JOB AND MY VERY
GAY FRIEND IN THE CITY FOR THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY GOOD
LIKE CHRISTMAS? AND MEN?
IF ONLY MY DAD WERE HERE. HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT TO DO.
>> HI, PUMPKIN. >> DADDY, YOU MADE IT.
CHRISTMAS JUST HAVE NEVER BEEN THE SAME SINCE YOUR MOTHER
EXPLODED. >> OH, DADDY, WHO DO I CHOOSE?
>> WELL, SWEETHEART, LISTEN TO THE SNOW GLOBE.
>> IT SAYS CHOOSE CHRISTMAS? THAT'S IT.
I'LL MARRY CHRISTMAS. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
THE TRUE REASON FOR CHRISTMAS IS HUSBANDS.
I'M EMILY KRINGLE FROM HALLMARK REMINDING YOU, STAY STRAIGHT OUT
THERE.