- What do you mean there's no nuts on this plane?
You wanna get nuts?
Let's get nuts!
Flying can be a fun and exciting experience
and, generally speaking, even if you don't like flying
the worst thing that can happen to you
is you sit in an uncomfortable seat
or the flight's delayed.
But the following real life stories
actually happened on commercial flights
and you're going to be glad you were not on them.
(thudding)
Here are the 10 craziest incidents
on a commercial airplane.
Number 10 is the Naomi Campbell assault.
Guys, Naomi Campbell is just misunderstood.
Why does she get a bad rap
for being a crazy monster
who has documented incidents
of throwing phones at personal assistants
and beating up her maid?
But hey, the supermodel is an equal opportunity abuser
as British Airways flight attendants found out the hard way
while on the ground in London's Heathrow Airport in 2008.
Campbell went ballistic when she found out
that one of her bags was missing
and demanded that the plane be delayed
until she was reunited with her precious, precious cargo.
Her crazy behavior prompted
a Heathrow Airport police officer
to board whom she then also assaulted
so Campbell was removed from the plane in handcuffs.
But ironically she was wearing a baseball hat
with Nelson Mandela's prisoner number on it.
And, as you can imagine, she was banned for life
from British Airways.
And all because a bag went missing.
Well, she's definitely got more than a bag missing,
you know what I'm saying?
Number nine is Korean air nut rage.
Where's the nuts?
Gimme the nuts!
Where's the nuts?
Gimme the nuts!
This plane story is totally nuts
and involved the daughter of Korean Air chairman
vice president of the airline, Cho Hyun-ah.
She had a 40 year old temper tantrum
over some Macadamia nuts.
This incident occurred in December of 2016
when Cho was on the tarmac in New York's JFK airport
waiting to fly to Seoul
when a flight attendant served her nuts
that she considered improperly heated.
The spoiled airline executive
screamed and scolded the flight attendant
and demanded the plane return to the gate
so the head of the service crew
could be kicked off and replaced with someone
that she deemed competent.
Her outrageous behavior was a scandal in South Korea
because of the blemish on their national airline
leading to her resignation, a severe scolding by her father,
and one year in prison!
Hopefully next time Ms. Cho flies,
she doesn't act so nutty.
Number eight is David Dao dragged off a flight.
Oh, you heard about this.
Everybody heard about this.
United Airlines had a public relations nightmare
when they overbooked an April 2017 flight
from Chicago to Louisville
and forcibly removed 69 year old physician David Dao
who refused to give up his seat.
Aviation security officers broke his nose,
knocked out two teeth, and gave him a concussion
before finally dragging him by his arms
down the aisle unconscious.
The incident was, of course, captured by many smartphones
and uploaded for the world to see
promoting a social media backlash
against United Airlines whose CEO fumbled the response
by blaming the victim.
Okay, yes, yes, we mashed his face up
but he wouldn't get up from the seat he paid for.
I quit.
Luckily the violent officers were fired
and David was compensated for an undisclosed amount
but the airline industry at large
was forced to change their practice
of overselling seats
as they absolutely should.
Overselling seats is outrageous.
Try taking me off a plane if I paid for my seat (cackles).
I'll lose it.
Number seven is JetBlue flight attendant
quits in style.
JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater
may not be the hero the service industry wanted
but perhaps he was the hero it needed
when he quit in the most epic fashion
in August of 2010.
Slater was having a really bad Monday
when he asked a passenger not to remove her luggage
from the overhead bin while the plane
was still on the runway
but she did so anyway,
calling him something that I choose not to repeat.
Now, that wouldn't be so bad
if she didn't cut his forehead open with her bag.
After 28 years in the business,
Slater was finally pushed too far
so, with his head bleeding,
Slater got onto the plane intercom
and launched into a long, four-letter tirade
cursing the woman, grabbed two beers,
and slid down the emergency chute.
One hour later, he was arrested by several officers
but Slater became a legend
to abused flight attendants everywhere.
Number six is woman gets peed on.
These just keep getting lovelier.
In April of 2009, a 66 year old woman
was about to go on a scuba diving trip of a lifetime
on Continental Flight three from Los Angeles to Honolulu
when a drunk passenger rained on her parade.
Jerome Kenneth Kingzio had been boozing it up
on a five hour flight
and was annoying his fellow passengers.
The woman was halfway through her inflight movie
when Mr. Kingzio started urinating on her
from the row behind her,
a story corroborated by an agent
of the US Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms on board.
The pee perpetrator was arrested
when they landed in Hawaii,
pleaded guilty to assault,
and sentenced to three weeks in jail
while the woman's vacation,
not to mention her dress, was ruined
and she continues to suffer emotional stress.
Well yes, as anyone would.
I wouldn't want to get peed on.
That's disgusting.
I would need therapy.
Nasty.
Number five is Richard Marx subdues passenger.
Richard Marx was true to the words
of his hit song, Right Here Waiting,
when he helped subdue a passenger
aboard a December 2016 Korean Air flight
from Vietnam to South Korea.
The unnamed passenger lost it mid-flight
and was attacking passengers and flight attendants
when the famous singer stepped up to assist
in restoring order aboard the flight.
Hold on, everybody.
I'm a singer.
I got this.
His wife, TV personality Daisy Fuentes,
captured the whole incident on her phone,
sharing online an image of her husband
holding a rope that they used to restrain
the man for four hours.
And, as most people do with these situations,
he shared his feelings about the incident on social media
stating that the all female crew was ill prepared
to handle it and that the psycho
was easily able to break restraints onboard,
hence resorting to a rope.
Sometimes when things get crazy,
you just gotta, hee-haw, hog tie people.
Number four is poop on a United Airlines flight.
Come on, you knew one of these was gonna be about poop.
In early January of 2018, passengers on United Airlines
flight 895 from Chicago to Hong Kong's journey
became even longer when the flight
had an emergency landing in Anchorage, Alaska.
A passenger from Vietnam wiped his poop
all over not one but two different airplane lavatories
and then tried to stuff his shirt down the toilet.
Yeah, I'm just gonna wipe my poop,
take my shirt off, (exclaims).
The shirtless man was removed from the plane
and taken in for medical evaluation
where the Vietnamese interpreter
said that his words were nonsensical.
His fellow passengers got an unplanned
overnight visit to Alaska,
most without warmer clothing necessary
for an arctic climate.
Number three is rage in the sky.
Jasbir Singh Bharaj was not exactly the ideal passenger
aboard an Emirates flight from Dubai to Birmingham, England.
After mixing an unreasonable amount of vodka and wine,
Bharaj launched into an expletive filled tirade
against the flight attendants for cutting him off
all, by the way, in front of his four small children.
And Dad of the Year Award goes to ...
He threatened a female flight attendant
that he would punch her in the face when they landed
and then dipped his fingers into the wine
and then rubbed them all over his crotch.
Oh yeah, you like that?
You like that?
What are you gonna do?
But as if threats of violence
and lewd sexual acts weren't enough,
he started screaming about Muslims and ISIS
and when Bharaj was taken into custody,
he bit the arresting police officer's arm
which then resulted in the man,
who had a lengthy criminal record,
to be sentenced to 11 months in prison.
Folks, know your limit, drink within it,
and also don't bite officers.
Number two is a really drunk passenger.
Oh, another one.
I'm seeing a pattern here.
Investment bankers like to think
that they're the masters of the universe
and feel that they're entitled
to whatever the heck they want when they want it.
Well, in 1995 the then 58 year old Gerard B. Finneran
was flying from Buenos Aires to New York
and took full advantage of the free liquor
in the first class cabin
when flight attendants eventually cut him off.
You already know how this turns out.
Not used to the word no, Finneran started serving himself
drinks from the cart and,
when asked politely not to,
he went berserk, threatening the crew
and other passengers,
assaulting crew members,
and pouring alcohol all over his body.
But the cherry on top was that Finneran squatted
and released his bowels on the overturned beverage cart
and then he tracked his filth all over the aircraft
that was also transporting the president of Portugal.
You don't want to give me anymore liquor?
(grunts) (splashes)
Take that!
And number one are the mile high exhibitionists.
No collection of crazy plane stories is complete
without a tale from the mile high club.
Now, most of the time couples have the decency
to at least go to the bathroom
to get frisky in private.
But two drunk passengers traveling
from Ibiza, Spain to Manchester, England
in June of 2017 decided the empty row
on the airplane was a reasonable place
to fornicate for all to see.
Also to film and share online.
After some mid-flight foreplay
and encouragement from fellow passengers,
saying, "Yeah, shag," the man called out
asking for jelly, slang for a condom,
and the woman mounted him.
As if that incident wasn't crazy enough,
the couple in question weren't even a couple at all
but strangers who met on the flight!
Also, the woman was a mother of three
and the man had a pregnant fiance at home.
Just when you think you couldn't
lose any more faith in humanity.
There it is.
Lost it.
So that was the 10 craziest incidents
on a commercial airplane
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Thank you for watching and I'll see you up in the sky
doing crazy stuff (cackles).