- Mixed signal games. I want you, I don't want you.
(gentle music)
Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite.
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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And just before I will share with you
six mixed signal games,
and I will also share the outcome,
what I think about it all,
don't forget to take my free self-awareness test
to find out are you behaving as a high value
or a low value woman,
which I will drop down in the video description box below.
And also, if you would like to learn
how to become high value from the core,
published my book which is called "Devoted Relationships".
I highly recommend you guys to get it.
You can find it on Amazon by Greta Mary Bereisaite.
And also, if you like my merch, Chase Goals and Not Drama,
you can get it on my YouTube store or on my website.
Before I will share with you those tips on mixed signals,
I am reading this book, which is called "The Pickup Artist:
The New and Improved Art of Seduction".
The Mystery, right?
So I actually did a lot of series
on this pickup artist before in other videos
and you can find the links to those videos somewhere here.
So here we go again, from this book,
the mixed signal number one.
And ladies, just by reading this book,
I realized that this book is teaching men
to have mixed signals through entire relationship.
Not just like the way I coach girls,
you can banter with him
and you can tease each other a little bit
as long as the intention is good
and not to put the other person down, right?
More to have a laugh at yourself, right?
Whereas this book is taking it to an extreme.
It's taking to a whole newer level
and it's basically telling men to do mixed signals
through the whole relationship.
So it's hot and cold constantly.
So you are never feeling safe and secure as a woman.
And you're always worried, you're always insecure,
you're always overthinking.
Always thinking, does he like you, does he not like you?
Is he gonna cheat? Is he gonna do this?
Is he gonna do that? So unhealthy to so many levels.
And because so many guys are listening
to these best seller pickup orders,
that is one of the reasons why we have an insane amount
of toxic relationships.
The example would be, oh, I really like you,
I'm so into you, et cetera.
I want a relationship with you.
Then let's say, perhaps you date him for a while,
then you sleep with him
and then two days after he says, oh, we just friends.
So this is an example of a mixed signal.
It's kind of like dating a chaos with no certainty.
So as a higher value woman
you don't have a choice but to step out of it
because this guy is actually presenting himself as a liar.
He's lying to your face.
He says, let's be together.
And then the next day, oh, we just friends.
How can you trust this guy long-term? You can't.
He might say, oh, let's go on holidays together.
Oh, I never said that. You know?
So it's like the opposite of a man
that's secure and confident, and that's a man of his word.
Anyway, what I find, these tricks kind of work the most
on more girls in their twenties
that don't have that much life experience.
The more mature women can actually support themselves,
we just choose to stay single.
It's just too much of a headache, you know?
It's crazy.
Now, the mixed signal number two is persistence.
Men are really encouraged here to be persistent.
Just kind of don't give up and go for it.
Even if she says no, just keep going.
Eventually you will get her
which I actually do agree with this on many levels.
Sometimes you're not really sure about a guy
but because he's so keen and persistent
and he does so many things for you
you start to slowly like him, right?
So I do agree with this.
However, it's done in a very wrong way,
in a way that you give her hot and cold
and when she steps back when you're being cold to her
then you're persistent to kind of get her back.
It's like, don't give up, keep going for it.
And when you get her back, you're doing hot and cold again.
And then she steps back
and then you're persistent to get her back.
So it's basically teaching this insanely toxic cycle
which is just so bizarre and unhealthy.
But again, I see it in many, many relationships.
Interesting thing about it
is that this cycle can happen naturally.
Perhaps he did something bad to you and you step back
and then the natural cycle is like, oh, dammit, I messed up.
And then he pursues you.
So this can actually happen in a natural way
which by itself can be complicated
if you don't understand the differences
between men and women.
However, what this book does,
it's influencing men to do it as a game,
which is so bizarre to me,
because just by being with a guy naturally
and complementing each other, it can be so challenging
because men and women are so different
and nobody talks about these differences anymore.
If anything, people are encouraged to believe
that we are very similar, and we are not.
What this book is influencing
is not even to learn about each other's differences
and know how to work with that,
but to make things even more chaotic.
To bring into a relationship even more problems, you know?
So it's just insane to me.
It's just completely insane to me.
Number three, it's encouraging men to be vulgar with women.
And they're calling it hot or that women love that.
And yes, again,
I can see myself even getting intrigued
when a guy says something a bit vulgar
when you are in your early twenties,
when you are a teenager.
Sometimes you look at this guy and you think,
oh, this guy can actually stand up for himself, right?
Because he said something vulgar.
Which is a teenage mindset.
So this teenage mindset is brought into this book
and these guys that are 30, 40, 50, 60
are using this teenage mindset.
So for example, it says, say something to her vulgar.
So you are kind of giving a hot and cold,
but say this vulgar stuff as a banter with a smile.
So for example, maybe you are cuddling together
and he says, get off of me, enough.
So that way you get a bit like, oh, what's going on?
But he says it with a cheeky smile
so it cannot be that bad.
So not only that this is giving a mixed signal,
it's also insanely rude.
And I know so many women that will get offended
and insecure over something like this to a whole new level.
Imagine this, right?
He says something vulgar to you with a cheeky smile, right?
Okay, you banter back, you let it off, right?
Then after a while
he's gonna start calling you a B word with a cheeky smile.
And if you are not gonna call him out on it,
if you're not gonna sit in a boundary
and be like, excuse me, this is really disrespectful,
next time he'll start to call you a B word
and different vulgar things without a cheeky smile.
Because if you accept it when he's joking,
a time will come when he'll do these things
when he's not joking.
So not stopping this vulgarity in time
and allowing it is basically the first steps
towards emotional abuse.
Number four, it's actually teaching men
how to get into the girl's pants, right?
By showing her that he's interested.
So especially if a woman shares something with a guy,
maybe a vulnerability, or a story,
or her goals, or her dreams, or just share things.
Women like to talk, they like to share.
So it basically says,
show her that you are really interested
in what she has to say, intently listen.
That way you will bond with her
and she'll feel safe and she'll feel like you like her.
Now, a lot of women fall into the trap
on the first couple dates.
So the guy takes her out, he knows what to say to her,
and whenever she shares something, he intently listens.
He looks very interested.
Like he has never heard anything like this before,
like you are one,
like he's looking for common interests
just in order to make you feel safe.
And these guys try to drag on these dates.
So for example, maybe you went for dinner.
Then he'll be like, oh, let's go to a club.
And then you maybe dance and you bond more.
And then after that he's trying to be a great communicator,
he's trying to be a great listener.
So maybe you go to his house for a glass of wine
and then you talk till the morning.
And in the morning the sexual stuff happens.
And then, guess what?
A day after, there is no phone call, nothing like that.
He got what he wanted and now he's out of it.
And then the girls go, "But Greta, he was so amazing,
he was so perfect, he listened to everything.
We talked all night, so it just happened, so naturally..."
Ladies, it's a game. It's a game.
It's just a pure game.
This is why you just have to stay logical.
And men nowadays, they take this game to a whole new level
because people are taught
to be only responsible for themselves and not for others.
When he's playing these games, he's thinking,
well, if she's naive and dumb, that's her problem, not mine.
So now we came to this point in this society
that people don't even care about morality.
If I'm taking advantage of you, if I'm manipulating,
if I'm playing games with you,
it's your fault cause you are naive.
And yes, as a woman, you should take responsibility.
And even in the Bible it says, do not be a naive woman.
Not only that the game is a whole new level,
it's actually allowed.
These books are made best sellers, they are for sale,
they are approved by today's society, you know?
Number five is give her genuine compliments.
So it's kind of like if the girl is not a 10,
maybe she's a seven or a six, right?
And she doesn't look like a model,
tell her that you are not really into models
cause they are all boring.
That you have a lovely smile, your character,
you're not into these six foot models and et cetera, right?
So it's kind of teaching men
how to give genuine compliments.
And I think a man should know
how to compliment a woman, et cetera,
but when you read these books just get so disappointed.
Cause when you go on a date with a guy
and you don't really know
is he just giving you a compliment
because he wants something from you,
or does he actually like you?
And this is where it just becomes
kind of disappointing and sad.
Saying that you can still find out is he liking you for you
or is he just playing a game with you.
And the only way to find out that is to give it time.
Behave high-value, behave with self-value,
behave with self-respect, don't sleep with him too soon.
And if it's just a game,
he's gonna give up on you very soon
cause he's just gonna go for someone else.
Women are very easy nowadays.
He can easily go for someone else
if he's not interested in you.
In today's society, we really just must watch their actions,
not their words, over a pretty long period of time
until we actually can say, okay,
I can see that he's truly into me and it's not just a game.
Number six game
is kind of if you want to be a smooth player,
don't try to impress her.
Like, I have so many houses and I'm this and I'm that.
It says more be smooth and drop in these names
or these things that you own or have through a conversation
so you come across more genuine.
As I said to you ladies before, so many girls go on dates
and they go, "But he was so nice
and he was so genuine and et cetera."
And I just want to make something very, very clear.
Being genuine can be a huge game.
So many people are genuine on social media.
So many people run genuine businesses.
When you behave as a genuine person, others can trust you.
They relate to you more.
The buy from you, they sleep with you.
So being genuine can be a very skilled high players game.
And I just really want you to keep that in mind
because the game only works when it's done in a genuine way.
Here comes kind of the last one,
the last bit which I kind of like...
I'm gonna summarize it into an outcome as well.
So we can call it number seven.
In the book, it's really highly promoted
that majority of women cheat.
If she has a boyfriend,
completely ignore that fact and still approach her
because she will just cheat on her boyfriend.
So women are presented in this book very toxic, very cheap
with no moral values whatsoever.
By playing these type of games
these men kind of go for women with no moral values
and the ones that cheat on their boyfriends.
Cause these type of women are the most receptive
to these type of games because they live in a chaos,
the guys live in a chaos.
They just naturally end up choosing each other.
What happens long-term?
Let's say, these guys are approaching these cheap women
that are cheating on their boyfriends,
that are falling for these games,
and when these guys get into relationships with these women
and they become insanely insecure with them.
Because if you could steal her from her boyfriend
who is there to say that she's not gonna cheat on you?
That she's not gonna be flirting with these other guys?
Who is there to say that she's gonna be loyal and faithful?
So what I find nowadays,
a lot of player type guys are insanely insecure themselves
in their relationships
because they themselves have been cheated on many times
by playing these games
and automatically choosing these type of toxic women.
So the kind of outcome is that these guys are just becoming
more and more insecure.
They are hurting others.
And long-term, they keep hurting themselves.
So they kind of are just stuck in this toxic cycle.
They believe in it so much, when we do we same things,
the same strategies, the same games
sometimes until they die.
I actually met 70, 60 years olds
that are playing these type of games.
So ladies, this is it. That's my video for today.
If you enjoyed it, please press like.
Let me know in my comments below what did you think.
Did you have any experience with these type of guys?
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Thank you for watching, my queens. Kisses from Dorset.