is your child biting scratching hitting or kicking others and you just don't know what to do about it
in this short video i will give you a step-by-step plan that will teach your child not to do this
and give you a way to share this information with any child care workers that your child deals with
regularly hi i'm holly mclean the mommy answer lady i'm a certified parent educator mom of nine
and author of the book an online course how to train your child to behave please take a moment
right now and subscribe if you're at the point where you're watching a video online to help you
deal with your child biting scratching hitting or kicking it is likely you've tried several
other things already and are now at a point where you're just looking for a plan to make it stop
so that's what i'm going to give you let's get started step one have a conversation you will find
in many of my step-by-step plans the first step is to have a conversation at a time of no conflict
even very young children need to learn that communication is a way to solve problems do not
have this conversation at a time when the problem is happening do this at a time of no conflict
in this conversation you will talk to your child about biting hitting scratching or kicking start
off by telling them you love them and that because you do you want to help them with this problem
then ask them about what they think is wrong with these behaviors let them tell you that
it hurts others if they don't explain this to them the more you can get them to do the talking
the better they will cooperate with the plan because they will feel like
they are working on it instead of it being put upon them step two talk about emotions
tell them you understand anger and sometimes we feel angry but when we do there are right ways
to handle that and wrong ways hurting others is the wrong way to handle it talking about it is
the right way if they get angry tell them to talk to the other person their teacher
or a child care worker or to you about the problem and you will help them find a solution sometimes
the solution can't happen right away and sometimes it can but biting scratching hitting or kicking is
not going to solve it that just hurts people and makes things worse step 3 get a reminder wristband
get some kind of a wristband or bracelet that your child can put on to remind them about behaving
appropriately towards others now don't give this to them at the initial conversation
just tell them that they're going to get one and they will see it later you don't want them to be
distracted while you're trying to get them to focus on your words so tell them this wristband
is to remind them not to bite scratch hit or kick or whatever the antisocial behavior is
that they are currently working on but to be kind i have a link in the description below for some
really easy and inexpensive slap on wristbands that you can decorate and write on with markers
to make them specific to your own child i call them behavior bands so you can check those out
don't go yet though there's more to know about this plan step four have them say the words
this is very important when you're talking to them have them say the words we do not bite
or we do not scratch or whatever the issue is you're dealing with it this point it's important
that they verbalize the lesson that you are giving them step 5 talk about what body parts are for
have them talk about what those body parts are for ask them what hands teeth and feet are for
and what they are not for for instance you could say hands are not for hitting but they are for
sharing creating loving hugging giving etc or teeth are not for biting others but they are for
chewing food they are for brushing they are for smiling feet are not for kicking others but they
are for walking running jumping and playing etc have them say these words to you remember the more
they verbalize what you are teaching the better this plan will work step six repeat the words
each time they wear the wristband when you give them the wristband ask them again what it means
say this is to remind you not to and have them fill in the blank this is remind you not to
bite this is to remind you not to hit whatever it is then ask again what is this wristband for
tell them they only get to wear their wristband when they go to school or daycare or wherever
they're displaying these inappropriate behaviors regularly this will make it something that they
will notice when they're in the situation that has been triggering these behaviors
if they wear it all the time they will get so used to it that it will not be as effective
step 7 explain the plan to the child care workers have a wristband at their child care
facility or place where these behaviors are happening explain the plan to the child care
worker and have them get on board with helping you incorporate it don't put the wristband on
until you arrive at the destination then each day when your child puts the wristband on again
have them repeat the reason they are wearing it have you gained some value from this video i'm
doing a whole series on social skills for young children on this channel so please click that
subscribe button and click one of the cards right here that will give you more step-by-step plans
to help you become the most effective parent you can be parents you can do this thanks for watching