Hello, and welcome to Slice of Ace! This is the final video in my video series on
asexual relationships. While I'm talking at the moment, I'm going to link the
videos at the top of the screen... I really need to remember which side of the
screen it's on, but at the top. And also in the description below, you can find the
links to all the videos in this series. I first talked about ace-ace relationships
and then did two videos on ace-allo relationships, and to round this off I'm
going to be talking about non-"traditional" relationships. What is
"traditional", you may ask. Well, the definition I'm using today for
"traditional" is a monogamous, romantic relationship, so anything that doesn't
fall under that bracket is going to be considered in this video. Of course, this
isn't going to be a comprehensive documentary. I'm just going to cover what
I think are the three main types of non-"traditional" relationship that are
often mentioned within the asexual community. These are open relationships,
polyamory, and queer platonic relationships (QPR). If you're
interested in solely a single part of video, I will leave links in the
description below for every part. So, with all that out of the way, let's get
started. I'm going to begin this discussion talking about open
relationships because out of the three that I have chosen it is by far the
simplest. An open relationship is a committed relationship
where the people are allowed to pursue sexual interests outside of their
relationship. But in the case of ace-allo relationships, the asexual could allow
the allosexual to fulfill their sexual need outside of their relationship. This
is particularly useful in ace-allo relationships as it removes the pressure
from the ace to compromise sexually solely for the benefit of the allo. How an
open relationship works completely depends on the people involved. For
example, some people may be happy letting their partner have one-night stands with
whomever they wish. However, some open relationships may be strictly regimented
on who the people have sex with and how often. Of course, this isn't an
exclusively asexual thing, but it can be very useful for some asexuals who are
sex averse or don't want the sex to be a part of their life at all,
but they still want a romantic involvement with someone who is allosexual.
However, in this situation communication is even more necessary
than in an exclusive relationship. If the partners don't trust each other to stay
loyal in their committed relationship then this might not be ideal. Moving on
to something which is very different, but people often get confused. Polyamory is
when a person is open to multiple committed relationships. These can either
be in the form of dating two or more people in separate relationships, or
alternatively having a relationship between three or more people. It is worth
noting that someone can consider themselves polyamorous even if they are
single. It is simply an openness and a desire to
be dating more than one person simultaneously. As you can imagine,
polyamory takes many different forms. I'm just going to go through some common
examples. Now, from the research that I've done, these are often described using
letters or shapes. Some common examples include a V. A V is where one person is
in a committed relationship with two people but those two people aren't in
the committed relationship with each other. You might also have a pentagon,
where everyone in the polyamorous relationship is in a relationship with
two other people. Or a W, which looks like a W, and I could go on. So, there really
are many different ways that polyamorous relationships can form, and even within
this, the types of relationships that the people within a polyamorous
relationship group will share could differ. Going back to the V structure, let's
take this relationship between Bill, Elsebeth, and Kaylee. Bill is romantically
involved with Elsebeth, but Elsebeth is both romantically and sexually involved
with Kaylee. Kaylee and Bill may be friends, but they're not romantically or
sexually involved at all. Similarly to open relationships, this can be a good
way to alleviate the pressure of having to
compromise for sex in an ace-allo relationship. Really, in polyamorous
relationships, the possibilities are endless. As this topic is so complex, I
don't have time to go into it at this point in time, and if I did I really
would need someone in a polyamorous relationship to best explain it.
However, I'm going to leave some links in the description to resources that I have
found useful in learning about polyamory. I'd like to thank people on the
polyamory subreddit for smoothing out some of the miscommunication that I was
brewing in my first take of this video. And finally we come to queer platonic
relationships, or QPR. If you don't like the word queer, I've also heard this
referred to as a quasi platonic relationship, or QPR. A QPR is a non
romantic relationship that still has a strong emotional and platonic bond which
transcends what is normally thought of as a friendship. So you may be wondering
how you distinguish between a friendship and a QPR. Well, the level of commitment
that you'd see in a QPR is often much greater than a friendship to the point
that rivals that of a romantic relationship. So the people in a QPR
might live together, they might raise children together, but they're just not
romantically involved. In a romantic relationship, you have a boyfriend or a
girlfriend. So, what do you have in a QPR? Well, somewhat strangely, your partner in
a QPR is known as a zucchini. which is American
for courgette, I believe. From what I understand, this started as a joke but
then caught on, and now everyone refers to each other as vegetables. Which is
hilarious and adorable. Once again, the benefits of this type of
relationship for an asexual person are obvious - no sex. It's also particularly
useful for people on the aromantic spectrum. Someone may want to have a
committed relationship, but if they don't feel romantic attraction, that leaves
them in a bit of a bind, the same way as asexuality. So having a QPR is a
really good way for an aromantic person to have a committed relationship
without having to deal with the romantic side of it.
Okay, that is all I had to say today on my Whistlestop tour of some
alternatives to monogamous romantic relationships! These can be useful for
people in the asexual community as it allows them to bypass that prerequisite
that is sex. I will leave a bunch of links in the description which will go
into much more depth, so if you want to know more about any of these things then
please check the links in the description below. I am not polyamorous,
I've never been in a QPR, or an open relationship,
so if I have misrepresented anything in this video, please do tell me and I will
do my best one amends it, either in a future video or, if it is irreparable, I
will take this video down and do it again. And that wraps up my series on
asexual relationships. This was really just the surface level of all these
topics, so if there is something you want me to go into in more detail, whether that
be sharing my thoughts, getting the thoughts of the ace community, or just exploring
in more factual detail, then please do tell me - comment below. If you enjoyed
this video, then please leave a like. I post videos every Saturday - except next
Saturday. Next Saturday is going to be my week off because of Christmas and
visiting family and such. But do not worry, the schedule will be back on as
normal after next week, so if you want to see more, then feel free to subscribe.
That is all I had to say today, have a wonderful day and I shall see you next
time!
A QPR is defined...
by something I need to look up because I don't want to get it wrong.