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00:05 ALIX: Hello Spangledanglers, Alix here looking
deep into your eyes and hypnotising you into watching this Friday's episode of the Top5Shorts
show.
Hand crafted with love by Barcroft TV.
Barcroft upload a new short clip every weekday plus we bring you a full length television
documentary every Tuesday and Thursday.
So to make sure that you don't miss out on a single drop of this juicy digital goodness,
make sure that you're subscribed to our YouTube channel.
00:32 ALIX: And my darling delectable buzzbuttons
I have yet more exciting news to announce.
On Monday the 27th of October BarcroftTV are launching a brand new channel.
Barcroft Cars.
From the decadently desirable, to the mind bogglingly unusual Barcroft Cars will showcase
the world's most incredible vehicles and all while taking Barcroft's traditional approach
of focusing on the amazing side of life.
So take your diary out, make a note in a big fat permanent marker to tune in on the 27th.
01:04 ALIX: There's a link to the trailer below
if you want to check out what's in store for now though, let's go live with the Top5.
01:15 ALIX: Whack out the wasabi and season our
number five video with soy sauce because it's all about some very special slices of sushi.
01:23 ALIX: After two picky eater otters named Apricot
and Mango decided that they weren't going to eat their fruit and veg any more, former
chef Rob Gaster came up with the bright idea of hiding healthy pieces of carrot and apple
inside fishy sushi.
To see if you can persuade the pair that they really otter gobble up their greens again,
and his crafty plan worked.
01:45 ALIX: Did anyone spot Rob's aquatic tattoo
by the way?
Or were you too mesmerised by his saucy flash of bellybutton?
Blimey.
02:00 ALIX: Grappling us to the floor at four is
Amazon Cinthia, a six foot eight inch tall mighty model who makes her living by dominating,
squashing, squishing and play fighting with men who get mammoth amounts of pleasure by
being made to feel small.
02:18 ALIX: If you want to learn more about dominant
larger ladies making submissive men feel minuscule, a fetish known as macrophyllia, then scoot
on over to our video of Amazon Amanda and her biggest little fan, Sergio.
02:32 ALIX: Now comes the getting to know you part
of the show.
last week I asked you guys if you could get behind the wheel of any fantasy vehicle what
would you choose and from pimped out ice cream vans to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang your responses
were imaginative and fantastical.
02:49 ALIX: So, I'm hoping your all gonna find something
that's really up your street on that Barcroft Cars channel.
Make room for some serious vroom.
The next thing I'd like to know from you marvellously motley crew is, was there something completely
ridiculous that you actually believed was true when you were a kid that you now know
was utter nonsense?
maybe there was a story that your parents or siblings told you to spook you out or perhaps
there was an urban legend or a fairytale that you were adamant was real.
Let me know your tales and I'll share the quirkiest and funniest ones on the next show.
03:23 ALIX: In the mean time though lets carry on
with the countdown.
03:31 ALIX: I feel like he's ready to model today.
03:32 ALIX: You may well think it's barking mad
but in at three this week it's footage of a pooch named Bodhi, AKA Menswear Dog.
the five-year-old canine's owners Dave and Yena dress their handsome hound in fashionable
gentleman's clothing and accessories, then post pictures of him posing online.
Blue steel!
03:52 ALIX: Many of you referred to the famous Doge
meme in your comments.
Wow, many fashions, such good looking, so amaze!
04:01 ALIX: However I'm surprised that none of you
mentioned that video that we shared back in September of a woman in India marrying a dog
named Sheru.
I reckon sharp dresser Bodhi could have given that scrappy scruffy stray Beyonce some hot
tips on how to look more groomed as a groom.
04:25 ALIX: Washed up at two, it's a video of locals
in a small coastal town in South Africa hacking up the carcass of a humpback whale using machetes
after the ten tonne animal's dead body was washed up on the beach by the tide.
04:40 ALIX: The humungous corpse had began to rot
and putrefy in the sun releasing noxious gases and you lot couldn't decide which bit of this
clip you thought was the most gross.
Maybe the whale willy?
Or the methane bubbling through the mammal's bodily fluids.
04:58 ALIX: Perhaps the bit where the machine burst
the bloated body?
Whatever made you retch, gag and yak there's no question about what the best bit of this
video is, the dancing dude!
His hot moves might be about to take over from twerking as the next big thing.
Speaking of which!
05:19 ALIX: Bottoms are tops this week at number
one with over three million YouTube views it's Jessica Vanessa, the professional twerker
who's earning six figure sums by shaking her lush tush.
Jessica gave up her day job in order to wriggle and jiggle her bum in Vine videos.
She - I'm just going to shut up for a minute and let that botty speak for itself.
05:43 ALIX: Look at it go!
05:46 ALIX: Jess's rhythmically bouncing buttocks
hit a bum note with some commenters who thought that what she's doing it degrading, whereas
other celebrated and congratulated her taking the view that if they could make big bucks
with their butts they would too!
05:59 ALIX: What do you think?
Is twerking 9-5 valid profession?
Or is all this winding and grinding of booty rather too fruit for your tastes?
Get involved in the discussion by adding your comments.
06:15 ALIX: It's almost that moment where I need
to disappear into a puff of sweet scented smoke, but before I do, let's glance at what's
coming up next week.
06:25 ALIX: To see a humpback whale that's actually
alive this time and stunning keep your peepers peeled to Barcroft TV.
06:38 ALIX: In the meantime I'm off, see you soon
Frothweasels!
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