(upbeat music)
- All right, welcome back!
That was Lester Holt, jamming with my band y'all!
Lester And I read a lot of teleprompter at our jobs y'all.
Sometimes I even ended up reading it without thinking
just like the legendary anchorman, Mr. Ron Burgundy.
Just look..
I literally call myself Ron Burgundy
because I say everything that's in the teleprompter.
You could just put anything in there, and I read it.
(laughing)
And future sexiest man alive.
Oh wait, it's a question.
Cause he's not yet. (indistinct sound)
I'm Ron Burgundy, man.
You put it in, and I'm gonna say it.
I don't care, I'm running with it.
(laughing)
Ron Burgundy.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I'm Ron Burgundy.
I'll literally do anything they put in there.
No shame.
Okay, fine.
Everyone to do the same? Oh, encouraging (blows raspberry)
(everyone laughing)
And people, that is just a third of the bloopers
that we showed you.
That's why this game is called I'm Ron Burgundy.
(upbeat music)
Here's how the game works.
Lester and I have to read real news stories
from the prompter.
So these are real news stories.
These stories actually happened.
No fake news here people.
The catch is we've never seen these stories.
And my producers who love to mess with me have
probably changed the words to make them harder to read.
Thank you in advance.
Each time we mess up or laugh,
Oh man, I'm going to laugh,
we get a mark.
Whoever has the lowest number
of marks at the end of the game wins.
Okay. Lester is playing for the men
in the audience I'm playing for the ladies.
(applause)
A super cool prize is on the line.
Don't worry ladies. I've got this.
Lester you're up first.
- Okay, so read the prompter, it's cold?
- Absolutely. You've never seen it.
I've never seen it.
- Good evening.
A homeowner in Erie, Pennsylvania woke
at 3:00 AM to find a man drinking milk
and singing in his kitchen.
The man was on the kitchen floor naked,
as in birthday, where ah
(buzzer sounds followed by laughter)
As in, wearing his birthday suit.
Stop.
(buzzer sounds)
In the buck.
(indistinct) Buck Markey, starkers, bunga bunga,
hot cross buns with a side of lookie what we have here.
Floating around in his own personal pool party
if you catch my drift.
Nake n' Bake, beach bum, air-drying.
The old neighborly How'd-you-do
He was a naturist.
(buzzer sounds)
(laughter)
Nature is bare down there like a grizzly bear
during the care bear stare, a real frequent flyer.
Just taking a short nacation.
He had no clothes on people.
(laughter)
No injuries were reported and it's not clear how
the man entered the home or what his motive was.
(laughter)
I dare you to match it with that voice.
- (laughing) That was awesome, I had no idea.
I'm so scared right now.
Okay. (makes noises)
Got this.
Okay.
- All right
- Lester made three mistakes.
So my turn.
Okay, here we go.
This is my, this is my official.
Let me take a, here we go.
- She's stalling.
- Yes. Yes.
Okay. Here we go.
In Europe, a flock of farts
forced to plane to take evasive action.
A flight from Dubai to Amsterdam was rerouted
after one passenger wouldn't stop baking air biscuits.
The flatulent flier caused a stink
with his constant gas leak.
His seatmates complained, but the man merely replied,
(makes farting sound)
(buzzer sounds, audience laughs)
The captain stopped in Vienna where those who complained
were removed allowing Farty McFarterson to continue
toot, toot, tooting to the Netherlands.
(laughing)
I did well!
- You did very well.
(applause)
- I had flatulence, yours was harder.
- I wouldn't have gotten through flatulence.
- Yours was harder.
Okay, after round one Lester has three mistakes,
I have one mistake.
What's up ladies.?!
(cheering)
Okay. You're up again.
- All right, this one, pshhhh
- Okay
- In Portland, a goat busted
into a seven 11 on Scholls Ferry Road.
The bearded beast boogered by the chalupas, big gulps,
and undulating foot longs in order to snack
on some sour Skittles.
One patron said quote, "Dude not one realize that there's
a real life goat in here?"
No comment was given by the goat,
although one might imagine the rainbow tasted
like baba Lala- meaaaak- baba lalalal (goat noises)
to the marauding animal.
(laughter)
- Oh my god, oh gosh (laughing)
Yours are way harder.
- Well, I'm a trained professional.
- I know, I love that they're doing it to you.
Okay, that was zero marks for Lester, which is amazing,
cause we made him do it like a goat.
It's fun.
My turn again.
(coughs)
Here we go.
An Alabama fugitive who allegedly fed
mmm
(buzzer sounds)
methamphetamines to his pet squirrel named Deez Nuts,
(laughter and buzzer sounds)
- You got through flatulence but you couldn't do Neez Nuts.
- Deez Nuts!
Named Deez Nuts, is being charged with a state
wildlife offense, um offense.
(laughter and buzzer)
offense playing sports
- She's skimming the trees ladies and gentlemen.
- No, I, shoot.
Okay. The man did not deny housing a nut loving NAR
but didn't deny he fed the little guy meth to
turn him into an attack squirrel.
This is a real story?
(buzzer)
(laughter)
That just hit me.
I want to punish that man.
Okay. When asked about the animal
the man said he'd had the squirrel
since it was a baby and would never give Deez Nuts drugs.
Reporters found Deez Nuts unavailable for comment.
(laughs)
(buzzer sounds)
- [Lester] Thank goodness.
(laughter)
- Deez Nuts
I'm still 15, it doesn't matter.
Okay. The score is now
Lester with three mistakes
and me with six mistakes, whatever.
That means the winner is Lester.
(music plays)
(crowd goes wild)
(indistinct)
- No, so Lester's won as well as all the..
What?
Oh, see that happened to me again.
Okay. See it just happened.
They moved, they changed.
- Do you need me to read this?
- They just changed it on me!
- She wants to say, as well as the men in the house seats.
(laughter)
- As well as Deez Nuts, you're all getting
a giveaway! Everyone's a winner including Deez Nuts.
Epson Eco Tank Printers are an innovative cartridge free
solution, that use high capacity, easily refillable
ink tanks instead of expensive cartridges
which makes this an ideal everyday printer
for families, and everyone in our audience is getting one.
(pew pew pew pew pewwww)
Even Deez Nuts.
And because Lester won,
his photo will be hung on the Blake Shelton wall
of Champions who beat Kelly Clarkson.
(laughing)
No one likes that wall.
So whatever! Be sure to watch Lester anchoring
NBC Nightly News, Dateline
and NBC Nightly News Kids Edition on nbc.com.