There's no question that America is becoming
more and more polarized.
And it has a lot of people wondering--
could this division turn into violence?
Well, we sent Jordan Klepper to find out for another episode
of "Fingers the Pulse."
[music playing]
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): When you've
been to as many rallies as I have,
you get used to hearing things you don't encounter
in everyday life, like "Go to hell,"
and "Klepper is a bitch."
But lately, the. crowds have been
coalescing around one particular idea
that nobody wants to hear
- Civil War. - Civil War.
Civil War.
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): The Civil War--
our country's bitter attempt at divorce
that ended with mom and dad back together in a state
of constant resentment.
43% of Americans think it's very
likely there's a Civil War in the next decade.
OK.
I'm going to be perfectly straight up and honest.
It's going to happen much sooner than that.
How soon?
Because I have an Airbnb rented in the Outer Banks.
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): But it turns out
a lot of Americans think this way and not just your uncle
who has been hoarding weapons and Vienna sausages
in his basement bunker.
Even sitting members of Congress, like January 6
Committee Member Adam Kinzinger.
How close are we to another Civil War?
I think we're closer than we'd like to think.
And I used to be afraid to talk about it.
Now I think it's important for us to talk about it.
To talk about a Civil War?
Yeah.
Because I think we have to be aware of where we're at.
I don't think it's going to be North and South
with large marching armies.
You know, if I live in Illinois,
there's going to be Republicans and Democrats in Illinois.
I do think it could get violent easily.
I mean, that's scary.
That is scary.
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): If a sitting representative
like Kinzinger thinks a second Civil War is possible,
it's something we need to take seriously.
So I decided to gather Americans
in one of our most sacred traditions of civic unity--
the corporate focus group, bringing together
conservatives and liberals in purple Arizona
who all think Civil War is a real possibility.
The Civil War is tomorrow.
What is the skill set you bring to the battlefield?
Well, I'm good with a gun.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
OK.
James?
[laughs] I have survival skills.
I was in the military.
I know how to shoot a weapon, hand-to-hand combat
if I have to.
I could stick you with a knife and not cry about it.
[laughs]
We're laughing about sticking people with a knife, but--
OK. Lansing, what skills?
Leadership JORDAN KLEPPER: Leadership?
Yeah.
I just feel there's going to need to be some leaders.
Bo, what skills do you have?
Critical thinking.
Jesus, for all of the liberals in here,
we have a leader and a critical thinker.
This is why the blue side is [bleep]..
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): But if America was going
to be divided in a Civil War, where would the modern day
Mason-Dixon Line fall?
It was time for a state-by-state fantasy draft--
well, nightmare draft.
JORDAN KLEPPER: We've terraformed
the states that have been red and blue to create
one land mass.
Who sees himself as conservative part
of the red map here?
Are these the states you would want?
Oh, I much prefer the red states.
What breaks your heart?
What are you going to miss?
Well, Arizona-- isn't that supposed
to be a red state now?
Let's say we give you Arizona.
Where do you want to travel to?
Well, I love California.
But it's turned into such a shithole.
Let's be fair.
As a red state guy, the blue state has the best food.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Bo, what would you miss?
Not a ton.
As a liberal, you're feeling pretty
good about the states you get.
Honestly, I feel all right.
We got Hawaii.
JORDAN KLEPPER: You do have Hawaii.
James, what are you missing?
You're going to be in this red conglomerate, right?
Well, the family's from back east in Ohio, so, yeah,
I mean-- that would be.
You'd miss Ohio?
I wouldn't trade Cleveland for anything.
I'd trade Texas for California
so I can go to San Diego. - OK.
Any other trades?
Texas for California-- blue side,
would you allow that trade?
I'll take Austin for Cleveland,
but I don't need all of Texas.
We'll do an Austin for Cleveland.
I don't want Cleveland. He's in Cleveland.
I want San Diego.
What will you give up for San Diego?
I would give up Florida.
No thanks.
There's no takers on Florida?
No.
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): OK.
So I guess the ocean can have Florida,
which is helpful because it will probably take it anyway.
And now that we have our newly divided States of America,
we get to draft some new constitutions.
If there is a new America, you're going to need new laws.
Are there any laws you would want to change?
Get rid of the petty ones.
I mean, there's lots of petty laws out there.
I mean, if you pee in public, I mean,
are you really going to be in the sex crime registry
now because you peed in public?
It's stupid.
It's a crack in the system.
That's the first law that comes to head?
It's the petty laws.
You get put in the federal sex crimes registry
if you take a leak outside.
It's just pretty dumb.
That's just an example.
We just talked about a Civil War
tearing this country in two.
[laughter]
You finally get your way-- - Well, you know, I mean--
--and the first law that jumps
to mind is peeing in public.
Does your side not have toilets?
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): With the vision
of the new Confederacy already collapsing under the burden
of sewage infrastructure, I thought
it was time to cut to the chase and ask
the biggest question of all.
Which side wins?
We all lose.
We all lose, yeah.
There's no winning there.
What if one side loses and then refuses to concede?
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER): Well,
I don't know if I feel any better
about the future of America.
But for now, at least we still have elections.
In fact, check out my new half hour special where I dive
into the midterms and ask the very important question--
democracy, we still cool?
If you knew you got fewer votes, you wouldn't concede.
What is conceding mean?
Yeah.
It means accepting loss.
- No. - No.
Why?
Is democracy [bleep]?
We can be [bleep] tomorrow if the wrong thing happens.
You were there January 6.
It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
Birds chirping, police officers screaming.
No.
[music playing]
[applause]
Thank you so much for that.
Jordan Klepper, everybody.
Before to check out--
be sure to check out Jordan's special next Tuesday at 11:30
right after this show.