WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST FROM "GIRLS" AND
"THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT." NOW SHE'S EDITED A COLLECTION OF
ESSAYS CALLED "MY FIRST POPSICLE."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," ZOSIA MAMET.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HELLO. YOU ALL GOOD?
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN. >> NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO!
>> Stephen: LAST TIME, IF MEMORY SERVES, LAST TIME YOU
WERE HERE YOU TOLD A CHARMING LITTLE STORY OF GOING OUT TO BUY
YOUR WEDDING DRESS IMMEDIATELY AFTER BEING ON THE SHOW.
>> I DID. >> Stephen: YES.
AND ONE THING I NEVER ASKED YOU, AND I LOVE HEARING THESE
STORIES, IS HOW DID YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND-- EVAN?
>> EVAN I THINK THAT'S HIS NAME. >> Stephen: MEET.
YOU NEVER KNOW. >> WE DID A PLAY TOGETHER.
WE DID -- >> Stephen: NEAR THE CITY?
>> WE DID A PLAY HERE IN THE CITY.
WE DID A PLAY DOWN AT THE LUSSIER HOTEL.
AND WE DID IT SECRETLY FOR THE WHOLE PLAY, WHICH WAS VERY FUN
AND VERY ROMANTIC. YEAH, EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: YOU STARTED DATING IN REHEARSALS THEN?
>> YES. WE STARTED DATING IN HEREVERSAL.
I HAVE ZERO GAME, LIKE, JUST-- JUST NONE TO SPEAK OF.
AND I HAD-- I HAD, LIKE, 15 TICKETS TO I THINK IT WAS OUR
SEASON TWO "GIRLS" PREMIERE, AND I INVITED OUR ENTIRE CAST JUST
SO I COULD INVITE HIM.
WANT HIMED TO BE THERE. I WAS LIKE, EVERYONE COME!"
HE CAME TO THE PARTY, AND MY HUSBAND, NOT LIKE ME, HAS ALL OF
THE GAME. SO HE WAS VERY SLY, AND HE WAS
THE FIRST ONE TO LEAVE. AND AS HE WAS LEAVING THE ONLY
THING I COULD THINK OF, WE BOTH KNEW OUR LINES, BY THE WAY.
WE KNEW THE OTHER ONE WAS OFF BOOK.
I SAID, "DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND RUN LINES ONE NIGHT?"
SO HE CAME SCPOFER WE RAN LINES. AND NOW WE'RE MARRIED!
>> Stephen: WOW.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> WE ARE DEEP IN. >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THE
CHRISTMAS MUSH IS PLAYING. >> IT'S HWANG.
>> Stephen: I LEARNED RECENTLY THAT YOU'RE A VERY CONSCIENTIOUS
GIFT GIVER. YOU PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO
IT? >> THERE'S AN XCEL SPREADSHEET
ABOUT IT. .>> Stephen: FOR REAL?
>> FOR REAL. >> Stephen: THAT'S FANTASTIC.
SO WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SUCH-- I DON'T WANT TO SAY
ADDICTED, BUT COMMITTED. >> NO, I GET A HIGH.
AND ONCE THEY'VE OPENED THE GIFT IT'S ALL OVER AND THEN I GET SO
SAD. LIKE, I WANT TO TAKE IT BACK AND
GIVE IT TO THEM AGAIN. >> Stephen: YOU NEED ANOTHER
HIT. >> I NEED ANOTHER HIT.
"WHAT DO YOU HAVE? WHEN IS YOUR HALF BIRTHDAY?
CAN WE TALK ABOUT EASTER?" >> Stephen: IS HALF BIRTHDAY A
DISWHRIENG NO, BUT I WANT TO MAKE IT A THING SO I CAN GET
THEM A PRESENT. YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR FIX
SOMEHOW. HERE'S THE REAL ISSUE-- MY
HUSHUSBANDS THAT HAS WON CHRISTS FOREVER, EIGHT YEARS AGO THIS
CHRISTMAS, HE GAVE US OUR DOG, AND IT WAS A SURPRISE.
>> Stephen: IS THAT WHO THIS IS?
>> THAT'S MOOSE. >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
>> THAT'S SWEET MOOSE. I KNOW, SHE'S THE BEST.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU A BIG ANIMAL PERSON?
>> I'M A HUGER ANIMAL PERSON? >> Stephen: ALWAYS.
>> ALWAYS. WE GREW UP WITH LIZARDS AND
SALAMANDERS AND TORTOISES, AND WE HAD CHICKENS GROWTH UP, IT
WAS NOT ALLOWED IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
>> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE A ROOSTER?
>> WE DIDN'T HAVE A ROOSTER BUT OUR NEIGHBORS LIKED TO PRETEND
WE DID, THEY WOULD CALL THE COPS ON US, AND MY MOTHER WOULD
ANSWER THE DOOR WITH FRESH EGGS AND BE LIKE, "HELLO, OFFICER, IS
THERE A PROBLEM?" SHE'D BE LIKE, "WOULD YOU LIKE--
WOULD YOU LIKE A FRESHLY BAKED MUFFIN WITH FRESHLY LAID EGGS?
AND THEY'D BE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK."
>> Stephen: DID YOU GROW UP IN MMAYBERRY?
>> I GRU UP IN SANTA MONICA. >> Stephen: YOU HAD CHICKENS
IN SANTA MONICA? I WOULD CALL THE COPS ON YOU.
>> EVERYONE IS JUSTIFIED. SEARCH WRONG IN THIS SCENARIO.
>> Stephen: YOUR FIRST BOOK COMES OUT.
IT'S AN ANTHOLOGY OF ESSAYS CALLED "MY FIRST POPSICLES."
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? >> IT MEANS WHATEVER YOU WANT IT
TO MEAN. >> Stephen: WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
>> SO THE IDEA WAS FIRST BORN-- WE HAD GONE TO DINNER WITH SOME
FRIENDS OF OURS AND THEY SHOWED UP LATE AND SAID, "WE'RE SO
SORRY, WE GAVE OUR SON A POPSICLE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND
HE HAD AN INCREDIBLE REACTION TO IT AND WOO STAYED."
THIS LITTLE BOY-- WHO IS NO LONGER A LITTLE BOY.
I FEEL OLD. HAD THIS-- IT WAS LIKE A NETFLIX
SPECIAL OF EMOTIONS, ALL OF THE BIG ONES.
HE WAS SCARED OF IT, AND THEN HE WAS EXCITED, AND THEN HE GOT A
BRAIN FREEZE, AND HE WAS LIKE THIS IS THE BEST THING EAVE EVER
HELP AND I WAS SO STRUCK BY HOW UNIVERSAL IT IS THAT WE VALUE
THESE DEEPLY EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES WITH FOOD.
AND THEY'RE TIED TO FAMILY OOR, YOU KNOW, OTHER RELATIONSHIPS,
ROMANNED OF MANTICALLY, FRIENDSHIPS TRADITION-- ALL OF
IT. AND SO I TOLD MY BOOK EDITORS.
AND THEY WERE LIKE, "THAT'S A REALLY COOL IDEA.
IT'S PROBABLY BEEN DONE BEFORE." AND THEN THEY FOUND OUT THAT IT
WASN'T. SO --
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOURS? WHAT'S YOUR DEEP EMOTIONAL
CONNECTION TO A FOOD? WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE IN HERE?
>> MY ESSAY IS ABOUT MY LOVE OF CHRISTMAS AND GIFT GIVING COMES
FROM MY GRANDMOTHER. SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH CHRISTMAS.
AND SHE HAD ALL THESE TRADITIONS SURROUNDING IT AND ONE OF THEM
WAS SHE WOULD MAKE THIS CHRISTMAS DINNER DESSERT WHICH
WAS A PLUMB PUDDING WITH THIS FOAMY SAUCE WHICH I'M NOT
TOTALLY CLEAR-- IT WAS LIKE EGGS WHIPPED UP WITH SOME SORT OF
CREAM AND I DON'T KNOW, IT GOT REALLY FOAMY.
AND IT WAS DELICIOUS. >> Stephen: OF ALL THE
PEOPLE-- PATTING SMITH IS IN HERE, TONY HALE,Y TED DANSON
WROTE ESSAYS. WHO WERE YOU THE MOST NERVOUS TO
ASK? >> I STARTED THIS UNEXPECTED PEN
PAIL RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVID SEDARIS WHICH--
( APPLAUSE )
YOU. >> I'M SO HAPPY FOR ME.
WHEN I GOT AN EFLAIL MY AGENT, I HAD DONE THIS PIECE FOR A
MAGAZINE ABOUT-- LIKE A CULTURE DIARY, AND I HAD BEEN READING
"BEST OF ME." AND THEY SAID, DAVID HEARD YOU
WERE READING HIS BOOK AND HE'D LIKE TO WRITE YOU A LETTER.
AND I SAID I'M DONE, I'M OUT. THIS IS PEAK.
WE STARTED A PEN PAL RELATIONSHIP AND I WROTE AND
ASKED IF HE WOULD DO A RECIPE. AND HE SAID, "IF I CAN WRITE
ABOUT JELL-O AND HOT DOGS, YES." HE THEN ASKED IF I WANTED TO
HAVE BREAKFAST WITH HIM. I WAS SHOOTING "THE FLIGHT
ATTENDANT" IN LOS ANGELES, AND HE WAS COMING THROUGH ON A BOOK
TOUR. AND I WAS SO NERVOUS, I WAS SO
NERVOUS, I GOT THERE 40 MINUTES EARLY.
>> Stephen: FOR BREAKFAST?
FOR BREAKFAST, AND THEN I HID IN THE BATHROOM.
( LAUGHTER )
YOU HAVE TO CALL AND TELL HIM I'M SICK."
I I WAS LIKE-- I WAS LIKE-- I CAN'T, I CAN'T.
>> Stephen: SHE TALKED YOU OUT OF IT, THANK GOD.
>> SHE TALKED ME OUT OF IT. SHE TOLD ME TO HAVE BREAKFAST
WITH HIM, AND I DID, AND HIS HUSBAND, HUGH, CAME.
AND YOU KNOW THEY SAY NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES AND HE WAS
EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME. IT WAS SO GREAT
>> Stephen: "MY FIRST POPSICLE" IS AVAILABLE TOMORROW!
ZOSIA MAMET, EVERYBODY. ZOSIA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
BEING HERE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.