-Your blood pressure is 59 over 2.
And our X-rays...
found a canoe in your Achilles' heel.
[ Laughter ]
It also appears that you have a rare condition
known as Fluffy Platypus Disease.
♪♪
Kenan, I wanted to try something fun with you.
I thought we could act out a dramatic scene together.
-Oh, my goodness. -Yeah.
-Let me get my chops on. -But first we have to fill in
the blanks, 'cause it's time for "Mad Lib Theater." Here we go.
-♪ "Mad Lib Theater," ah, ah, yeah ♪
-Now here to help us out is a great actor
who stars in the new movie "Bottom of the 9th."
Everyone please welcome Joe Manganiello!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah That's what I'm talking about! Buddy!
Look at that. Joe Manganiello! Come on.
Joe, welcome. Thank you for helping us out.
-Want me to sit? -Yeah, sit.
-All right. Here's the way this --
I'm gonna ask you both for some silly words.
Nouns, verbs, adjectives, et cetera.
And as we do that, they'll be written onto cue cards,
and then we're gonna act out a dramatic Mad Libs scene.
Ready for this? -Yeah. Really dramatic.
-All right, yeah. Very dramatic.
All right, Kenan, give me a silly word.
-Silly word. "Butt."
[ Laughter ]
-Joe, food at a barbecue?
-Heinz Ketchup.
-Thanks. Adjective?
-Funky.
-Cartoon character?
-Hong Kong Phooey.
-Wow! Nice!
-Deep cut. -Wow!
Hong Kong Phooey, man.
[ Laughter ]
Kenan, give me a state. -Georgia.
-Uh, a plural occupation.
-Plural occupation? -Yes.
-Farmhands.
[ Laughter ]
-What?!
-First thing that came to mind.
-Oh, my gosh. Country.
-United States of America.
-There you go, buddy. USA.
A plural item of clothing.
-Plural item of clothing.
Um, oh, I just came from Europe, and this is on
your laundry list, for men and women -- panties.
-Interesting. -Panties.
If you send underwear, like, your boxer shorts,
to get washed at a hotel,
you have to check the "panties" box.
-Are you serious? -Swear, yeah.
-Just be open to new experiences.
-Listen. Jimmy, just go with it.
-I'm going with it. Kenan, give me a number.
-1,100,060.
[ Laughter ]
-Not making this easy on him.
-Yeah. Wow. All right. Give me a month.
-A month. December.
-Is that your birthday? -It is.
-A type of salad. -Greek.
-Joe, a greeting that you give your puppy
after being gone the entire day.
-"Oooh, you little..."
-Oooh, you... -O-O-O...
-Oooh, you little...
"Oooh, you little..."
Kenan, a verb ending in I-N-G.
-Fastening.
Doing a lot of fastening of the shoes lately.
-I'm tying -- -Fastening.
-I'm teaching my daughter how to tie her shoes.
Lot of fastening.
-Your daughter's 36, right? -Yeah.
She's doing really well. We're proud of her.
-Joe, celebrity name.
-Kim Kardashian. -There you go.
-I don't know why -- -That's great.
-Celebrity. -Kim Kardashian.
Kenan, what you shout when you find out
you've been accepted to the college of your dreams.
-"How much?!"
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That's it. A plural noun.
-Plural noun. -Yep.
-Um, um -- Bananas. Ba-non-as. Ba-non-as.
-Ba-non-as.
Past-tense verb.
-What? Past-tense verb? Sorry.
Ran? -Yep.
-Was that a past-tense verb? -Yeah.
Another plural article of clothing.
-Gosh. Clip-on ties.
[ Laughter ]
-Gotta have 'em. -Clip-on ties.
-Gotta have 'em.
-Body part. -Foot.
-A noun. -A noun.
Um, uh, Chicago.
-Yeah. Place. -Person, place, or thing.
-Yeah.
-That's a thing. Yeah.
-First noun -- Chicago. That's right.
Kenan, food you'd order at a sushi restaurant.
-Shrimp tempura roll.
-Yeah, okay. Shrimp tempura roll.
-And delicious. -A childhood punishment.
-Childhood punishment. The bar of soap in the mouth.
-All right. Now we're gonna do --
This is the speed round here. Real quick right here.
Kenan, exclamation. -Hooray!
-Another verb ending in I-N-G.
-Um, uh, uh, beating.
-Beating. -Wow.
-I don't -- -Wow.
Oh, my God, I can't even -- It started with farmhands.
That's when it went off the rails.
Farmhands. -Farmhands.
-That's all right. I'm good. Mall restaurant.
-Uh, whew. We'll go with Taco Bell.
-Taco Bell. There you go.
Mall clothing store.
-Mall clothing store. Um, um, Spencer's?
Spencer's Gifts. They have T-shirts.
-I guess they have -- They have clothing there?
-Yeah, T-shirts --
-And, like, young adolescent pornography.
-Yes, they do. Spencer's Gifts. There you go.
We've filled out the words for our scene.
Let's go perform the scene. Let's do this right now.
Are you guys ready? -Let's do it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Organ playing cheerful music ]
♪♪
-All right. Welcome back, baseball fans.
I'm Steve Butt.
Alongside me is my co-announcer, Kyle Heinz Ketchup.
-Thank you very much. No relation. No relation.
We're live on this beautiful, funky night
from the historic Hong Kong Phooey Stadium.
We're gonna change that.
-We're in the ninth inning of a very close matchup
between the Georgia Farmhands
versus the United States of America Panties.
-That's --
-The score is tied 1,100,060 to 1,100,060.
-Wow. This is very exciting.
Joining us now is our special guest.
Retired all-star pitcher.
None other than the one and only December Greek.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oooh, you little...!
Great to be here tonight.
I've never seen a stadium
with so many fans fastening so loudly.
-It's been quite a game. Lots of great moments so far.
Including when Kim Kardashian streaked across the field.
-How much?! I can't believe that!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-All right. -Wow. Wow.
-Now, December Greek, you hold the record
for most bananas ran --
-I think you mean ba-non-as.
-Ba-non-as. -That's right.
-Did you have any pregame superstitions?
-Actually, yes, I did.
Before every game, I would go into the locker room,
put on fresh clip-on ties,
and rub my foot with my lucky Chicago.
-Wow! Wow!
-That's a very popular noun -- Chicago.
A very popular noun.
-Back to the game -- -That's what I think of first.
The word Chicago, that's a great noun.
-Back to the game.
Stepping up to the plate is Mike Shrimp Tempura Roll.
-Uh-huh.
-Oh, here we go. Bases loaded, full count.
If Mike Shrimp Tempura Roll doesn't get a hit,
his manager is gonna get a bar of soap in the mouth.
-All right. -There it is.
-Here's the pitch. He swings! There it goes!
Hooray! It is gone!
-Yeah.
He's beating around the bases. I've never seen this before.
-What a game!
All right, guys, it's time to sing our favorite song.
-♪ Take me out to the Taco Bell ♪
♪ Take me out to the Spencer's ♪
♪ For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out ♪
♪ At the old Taco Bell ♪
-And scene!
My thanks to Kenan Thompson, Joe Manganiello!
Now, Kristen, I wanted to try something fun with you.
I thought that we could act out a dramatic scene together.
-Yes. Okay. -Okay? But first we have to
fill in the blanks.
It is time for "Mad Lib Theater." Here we go.
-♪ "Mad Lib Theater," ah, ah, yeah ♪
-[ Laughing ] Yes!
-What? -That was amazing.
-♪ "Mad Lib Theater" ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
-[ Laughs ] -That was fantastic.
-I loved it.
-All right. Here's how this works.
This is "Mad Lib Theater."
So here, I'm going to ask you for some silly words.
-Okay. -Nouns, verbs, adjectives.
And they're going to be written on cue cards as you say them,
and then we'll act out a dramatic Mad Libs scene.
Are you ready? Here we go. -Okay. Yes.
-Silly word.
-Gooby...
[ Laughter ]
Gooby gock? -Gooby gock.
Type of fish.
-Mackerel.
-He's on the show tonight, too.
[ Laughter ]
Adjective.
-Swirling.
[ Light laughter ]
-What you would shout if you saw a ghost.
-Get out, you!
[ Laughter ]
-A number.
-59.
-Another number. -2.
-A noun.
-Canoe?
-A body part.
-Achilles' heel.
[ Laughter ]
-Another adjective.
-Uh, drinking.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, oh, adjective. Sorry.
Sorry. -Yeah. It's a describer.
-Sorry, sorry. -No, I'm sorry. It's tough.
-Fluffy.
-Yeah. That's good.
A type of animal?
-Uh...platypus.
-[ Laughs ] Oh, man.
A curse word that you'd say in front of a child.
-Um...toot.
[ Laughter ]
-Amount of time, like two minutes or five hours.
-Oh, um, uh...two...hours.
-Verb ending in "ing."
-Drinking. -Drinking.
-Drinking. -There you go.
Hey, Kristen is playing the game, okay?
Come on. -They can help.
-Yeah. They can help, yeah. Drinking.
Another body part.
-Armpit.
-A verb.
-Hammering.
-Yeah, okay, yeah. Hammering.
A verb ending in "ing." Sorry.
-Oh, oh. Oh, a different one?
-A different one, now.
-Biting.
[ Laughter ]
-Adjective.
-Striped.
-A type of profession.
-A cruise director.
[ Laughter ]
-Cruise director. Oh, these are great.
Type of relative.
-Second cousin.
Male name.
-Gary.
-Made-up song title.
-"Feel My Face."
[ Laughter ]
-"Feel My Face." All right.
We filled out the words for our scene.
You ready to perform? -Yes.
-Here we go. Let's go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Well, if it isn't my favorite patient,
Mr. Gooby Gock.
-Thanks for seeing me on such short notice, Dr. Mackerel.
So, what's the news?
-Well, we just finished processing your test,
and unfortunately, the results are swirling.
-Get out, you!
[ Laughter ]
-I completely understand that reaction.
Your blood pressure is 59 over 2.
And our X-rays found a canoe in your Achilles' heel.
[ Laughter ]
It also appears that you have a rare condition
known as Fluffy Platypus Disease.
[ Laughter ]
-Toot!
Is there any way to cure it?
-I'm going to write you a prescription for these pills
right here that I have in my pocket.
I want you to take one every two hours.
-But I heard those pills cause involuntary drinking.
-I'm afraid they do.
Side effects also include an itchy armpit
and a decrease in the desire to hammer.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That a medical term?
Uh, wh--
[ Laughter ]
What can I do to stay healthy?
-I would suggest waking up early...
-[ Laughs ]
-...every morning and doing stretches
and then biting in the park.
[ Laughter ]
-That's great advice,
especially for a striped cruise director such as myself.
-You know, the best part about being a doctor
is that I get to treat patients like you
and then go home to my second cousin, Gary...
[ Laughter and applause ]
...and then sing them my favorite song.
-Which is?
-"Feel My Face." [ Groans ]
-How does it go? Can you sing it for me?
[ Laughter ]
"Feel My Face." -Yes.
♪ You and me gotta get out of this place ♪
♪ And come back to apartment so you can feel my face ♪
♪ Touch my body, touch my body ♪
-Thank you very much, Doctor. I appreciate it.
-I'm so sorry. -Uh, no, please.
And scene!
That is how you do it right there.
Kristen Wiig! That's how you do it!