-Welcome back, Amy Schumer. -Thank you.
-Thank you so much for coming back to the show.
-Thanks for having me back.
You know, I was the first female comedian ever on your show.
-Oh, my gosh. You know --
-Isn’t that amazing? -I think I did know that.
-Yes. -Thank you for doing that.
-Yeah. You can’t get rid of me.
-Oh, I’ll never -- Please. I love having you on.
I think -- I forget -- Who was it,
Wayne Fetterman, who told me about you?
-Yes, yes. -Wayne said, "You have to check
out this kid, Amy Schumer. She's unbelievable.
-Yeah. -Came and crushed it.
Look at you now. -Look at me now.
-Look at you now. -A queen.
-Look at you now. Thank you, Wayne.
-Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.
You and the husband doing anything special?
-Well, I have to tell you,
today is our six-year anniversary.
-Today?
-Yeah, today. -Happy anniversary.
-Yep. -Hey.
-Hi, Chris.
Yeah. He, uh -- I said,
"I’m spending it with another man."
-[ Laughs ] That’s right. Sorry, Chris.
-But we had the most romantic ever anniversary.
when we got married.
We got married, like, on Valentine’s Day.
-Oh. That’s fantastic. That’s super romantic.
-How much more romantic can you get, right?
-You can’t. No. -No, it was --
It was a -- It was a special event, you know, like, I mean,
and actually, there was some false claims about it.
People magazine reported that Jennifer Aniston
was spotted at my wedding. [ Laughter ]
-And is that -- -It’s not true. That’s not true.
-No, no. -No, but my mom, okay,
she said, "I know what happened."
She said, from behind, I look exactly like Jennifer Aniston.
[ Laughter ] -75 years old.
-She’s 75. Yeah. -You can’t be honest
with your mom, though, right?
You can’t. You have to just go,
"Yeah, that’s probably what --" you know.
You can’t go like, "Hey, you have two bad knees
and, like, you know, you’re not."
No, but you -- -Can’t do that.
-I have such a -- this is on my show.
It’s like I have a whole thing with my mom, you know?
She’s deranged, like, you know,
Everyone’s mom, right?
You set up boundaries with them. You know, you get older, you go,
"You know what? I want some boundaries with you now," right?
And then -- -Yeah, they make you --
-Right. -They make you mad.
My mom would make me madder than --
I would Hulk -- turn into the Hulk around my mom.
-Exactly. -Over nothing.
-Just a teenager, right? -Over nothing. Yes.
-And you set it up, and then you have a baby, and you go,
"Let’s get you back over here."
-I need you now. I need you so much.
-Let's get you on your mark. -Let’s get you on your mark.
Yeah. Does she annoy you?
-She just -- I see it now with my son.
You know, you just want them to look at you.
You just want their attention. "How was your day?"
You know, anything. You just -- So she’ll -- at my --
she’ll be at my house. I’ll make her a cup of coffee,
and then she’ll be in front of the fridge and she’ll go,
"Now, where would I find milk?"
-You know, where do you think, mom? Where do you think?
You’re right in front of it. You’re real close.
-But they just want you to look at them.
-Yeah. Come on. How is the baby doing?
How old is your son? -Oh, my gosh.
He will be five in May. -Wow.
-Yeah. I’m very --
Did you see how I knew my son’s birthday?
I don’t know if you ever --
-That’s pretty impressive. -It's Cinco de Mayo,
so it’s, like, I can never forget it, you know?
-Wow. -Yeah. Thanks.
It’s not a big deal. I’m just, like, a great mom.
-[ Laughs ] -He’s realizing,
though, at this age, he’s realizing that I’m stupid.
-No, no, no, you are not. No, I am. I am.
-I was at the Comedy Cellar
the other night and this audience member was like,
you know, I was like, "I’m from Switzerland."
And I was like, "Oh, my God, I went to Stockholm."
[ Laughter ]
This is a smart audience. The guy was like...
He gently was like, "Oh, um,
Switzerland is not Sweden, you know?"
-Yeah. -And my son,
were on the beach this summer, watching the sunset,
and he said -- he said,
"Mommy, does the sun sleep in the ocean?"
-Aww. -Yeah.
And I was just -- I was just looking at it,
and I was like, you know,
nobody really knows what’s going on with the sun.
He knows. He knows I’m stupid.
-No, he doesn’t know. Come on. You created "Life & Beth."
You also wrote and directed some of these episodes.
Can you tell us what’s going on?
We just had Michael Cera on last night, and he’s great.
And we showed a clip, and it destroyed, so --
But it’s very funny.
Can we set up what’s happening this season with "Life & Beth?"
-Well, he did an amazing job last night
of setting up the show where he said,
we get married and have a baby, which is great. No spoilers.
-[ Laughs ]
-Michael? Michael? Michael? -Michael. Oops.
Yeah. -No.
But, yeah, it’s just -- you know --
it’s a pretty real show.
You know, it’s definitely a dramedy.
And it deals with very real life stuff that you,
you know, don’t foresee that you navigate
in a marriage.
-You guys have great chemistry, you and Michael.
-Yeah, well, we’re actually having an affair.
-Oh, my gosh! -What?
-Your husband is watching this on his anniversary.
Happy anniversary. -Love you.
And my son.
-I want to show everyone a clip.
Should we set the clip or just show it?
-Yes, we’re -- Yeah, no, just the clip.
-All right, here we go. Thank you.
That was a good set up. -Wasn't that amazing?
-Yeah. Here’s Amy Schumer in "Life & Beth."
Take a look at this.
-No, this is perfect, okay? -Okay. Yeah.
[ Opera music plays ]
Sorry.
♪♪
-I feel like -- like maybe if I face the other way.
-Okay. -You know?
That might be more, like, realistic.
-Okay. -If I was kind of like...
-Okay? I'm gonna put my leg up.
-What are you -- okay.
-I just don’t want you to slip. -No, I’m not.
-Let me, let me -- -Here, I’ll just go down.
-Okay. -Okay. Are you okay?
-Is that happening?
-Seems like you’re getting water in your face, though.
-Was that working? [ Sighs ]
-I don’t want you to not be able to breathe.
-Yeah. Do you want to just, like,
go eat pita chips and watch "Vanderpump?"
[ Laughter ]
-Come on. "Life & Beth." -Yeah.
I also want to say the incredible music you heard
in that clip was by your very own Ray Angry.
-Ray Angry right there.
-Ray and Kimo Elliston are the composers on my show.
And thank you, Quest, for introducing Ray.
-Yeah. Good job, Ray. Congratulations, buddy.
Good job. -Genius, genius. Yeah.
-By the way, you had another stand up special
come out last year, "Emergency Contact."
Nominated for a Golden Globe. No big deal.
It was fantastic. You’re one of the best.
Are we going to see you on -- doing stand up anymore soon?
-Yeah, it’s just hard to go on the road,
to tour right now because who are we competing with?
Who’s been filling up our feeds? Beyonce and Taylor Swift.
Like, this is who I’m competing with.
You know, I love both of them, you know?
But it’s like, did you see them in concert?
I went. It is life-changing. -Yeah.
-Life-changing. The audiences -- I left there taller.
Stronger. -Yeah.
-Wetter. Okay? I’m sorry.
And the most I can hope that I can do
to an audience is them go, [chuckles]
-[ Laughs ] -You know, it’s like, I just --
I can’t compete with this, like --
You know, why can’t I be a star?
Why can’t I have backup dancers? You know what I mean?
Like a stand up with backup dancers.
-Stand up with -- you want backup dancers?
-Yes. Is that too much for a gal to ask for?
-No. Yeah, well, we’re the "Tonight Show."
I mean, we make dreams come true, so.
Let's get Amy Schumer some backup dancers.
-Are you serious? -Yeah.
Do some stand up. Here's Amy Schumer doing stand up
with backup dancers.
-Here’s a knock-knock joke my son likes to tell.
Knock, knock? -Who's there?
-Turner. -Turner who?
-Turn around, there are back up dancers behind you.
-[ Laughs ]
♪♪
-Come on, now! That’s how you do it.
Amy Schumer, everybody.
Season two of "Life & Beth" premieres this Friday on Hulu.
J.B. Smoove joins with after the break. Stick around.
♪♪