- For today's medical meme review,
I'm gonna look at some of the ones you submitted on Reddit.
If they're not gonna be good,
I encourage you to submit even more for the next episode.
Huge thank you to Factor for sponsoring this video.
Let's get started, be-whoop.
As a doctor, I would never make a joke
about an unvaccinated baby,
but hey, let me give it a shot. (wheezes)
Doctor, one. Anti-vax crowd, zero.
"Accidentally hits elbow on table,
my entire arm goes into static."
Yo, the humerus is not so humorous when you hit it.
Nothing rhymes with humerus, dammit.
Hitting this really lack
of fat, skin, muscle,
bony protection area puts the nerve really accessible
to be able to get hit on stuff, so yeah, it hurts.
"Coincidental memes can't exist.
The coincident, 'How Dangerous is a Slingshot?'"
Oh my God, and you got Mike's, and you got,
yo, he got views though in 12 days, 5 million.
My guy's crushing. What does he have now on that video?
'Cause like, yo, I might start shooting slingshots
if that's the case on the channel.
But yeah, how dangerous is slingshot?
I can answer that medically.
Very dangerous, especially for your orbitals.
"Comfortable, sir?"
"No, no, come for food."
(light music)
Big brain move.
Oh my God, that's on a website called PunHub.
That's what I notice about that meme.
"Doctor, a person who kills your ills with pills,
then kills you with bills.
Wrapper." That's actually pretty good.
"Debilitating pain. Putting the heating pad on high.
Your burning flesh."
Yeah, you gotta be careful,
and not just be careful with the heat.
You also gotta be careful with cold.
That's why I always say like never put the cold directly
on your skin.
Put something in between it, and 20 minutes on,
20 minutes off is a good rule of thumb
so that you don't overcool an area, that's an actual thing.
"Just saw a video and Dr. Mike..." (laughs)
Hold on a second.
(Sam laughing)
It's pretty accurate. - That's pretty good.
- The correct thing to do is chin tucks
and I should do those every morning.
So look at my...
How do you feel about that?
(upbeat music)
"You can have a little air bubble
in your syringe as a treat."
What? Is this cat trying to...
This is a Reddit submission. - Mm-hm.
- People on Reddit really out there thinking
that they put a cat dressed up as a doctor.
They can just write anything and it's gonna work.
- You are correct, sir!
- Okay, there might be a meme community
where cats secretly try and murder you.
I feel like I've heard that before, isn't that a thing?
I'll give this one a pass,
even though I still think the humor
on it is like really low, but at least it's accurate.
And by the way,
the fact that there's an air bubble
for that to cause an air embolism,
like a true air embolism is very, very rare.
It needs to be like a pretty significant amount of air.
"If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke,
a stroke of luck that is.
It's toast time."
You know what's funny?
I've always heard,
I don't know if this is in medical school,
that if you smell burning rubber,
it could be a sign of an incoming stroke.
Hold on a second, it's not stroke, it's seizure.
"Seizures beginning in the temporal lobes may remain there
or they may spread to other areas.
Patient may experience sensation
of a peculiar smell such as burning rubber."
That's from Johns Hopkins, baby!
And my buddy John knows what's up.
"Yo, they revoked his medical license.
Beer, Fanta, Mr. Pepper." (gasps)
You know I have mixed feelings
when people call me Mr. Mike.
Either Dr. Mike or Mike or Mr. Varshavski.
Even that sounds weird, oh my God.
If someone called me Mr. Varshavski,
I'd be like, eh, eh, eh.
And Dr. Pepper's not really a doctor.
Kind of misinformation.
We should have the Federal Trade Commission
take a look at this.
Dr. Pepper, I'm coming for you.
Mayo...
I don't know what I'm looking at. What does that say?
Are there doctors in mayonnaise?
- [Sam] Yeah, so you might call this...
- The Mayo Clinic? - Hey!
- I'm gonna delete the Reddit. (Sam laughs)
I'm this, give me one more bad meme.
You shot what looks like foam insulation across a building,
and you put some dudes in white coats,
and you think that's good enough to get me
to say Mayo Clinic?
I didn't think this meme review would turn into a roast
of your submitted memes, but boy, is this bad.
Back to the memes in just a second.
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All right, let's get back to the memes.
"Human blood cells, (laughs) Italian blood cells."
No, not true.
Those are sausages slash pepperonis.
By the way, I'm gonna give you a life hack.
If you see no nitrates added on like a sausage label
or something like that, know that that almost means nothing.
They usually then just add celery root powder,
which as a byproduct has a ton of nitrates in it.
Just because they didn't add nitrates on their own,
it doesn't mean there's no nitrates in the packaging.
And that's not saying nitrates are horrible.
I'm just saying in the grand scheme of things,
be careful how they can trick you.
"Doctors use their stethoscopes to listen
to different parts of your body because they usually forget
where the heart is located."
I actually have had patients say that to me before,
like, "I'm gonna listen to your heart now.
You don't have to breathe deeply
'cause I'm done with your lungs."
And I put the stethoscope here,
they go, "What are you doing?
My heart's on the other side."
Yeah, we could hear different heart sounds!
Here, here, here, here, here.
You know what's funny though,
if there's a patient with dextrocardia,
which they have the heart on the opposite side
of their body, that their organs can be flipped.
If I had that, I would mess with my doctors.
I'm like, "Does everything sound normal?"
And they would go, "Oh yeah, everything sounds normal."
I'd go, "(imitates buzzer blaring) Wrong!
My heart's on the other side.
Do you notice? I'm leaving."
"Photoshopping myself next to Dr. Mike.
Flying to New York City, making myself sick,
canceling all appointments until I get one with Dr. Mike."
Or, or next time we have a tour,
you come out and get a picture,
or, or, or don't wait for me on the street
'cause I don't know where I'll be.
But if you see me, wave,
and then if I go wave back,
you can come on over and we can chat
and we could do a photo.
"Four of my toes watching the little toe
take a coffee table leg to the face."
Oh my God, this just happened to me.
I was in a hotel, and it had one of those door separators,
and on the bottom, it had that thing that sits,
that holds the door open.
And as I flicked it up and held the door open
and I walked by, it dropped, and my little toe sliced on it.
My blood is now in that hotel room.
All the vampires, go get it.
"Is this what private schools are like?"
No, they have sparkling water.
They have a soda stream on tap with flavors.
At least that's what happens in the Delta lounges,
which I was lucky enough to attend to.
One of the last times I was in the airport.
"You're fat, but you're good fat. Avocado affirmation."
I hate that we label things as good and bad,
but I understand the need to.
Like I hate that we call LDL bad cholesterol
and HDL good cholesterol
'cause it's like not exactly accurate,
but I guess we need
to sometimes make things more understandable.
"Me, eat a lot of calcium but I don't drink enough water.
My kidney." (laughs)
That's a calcium stone and they're quite painful.
I've actually passed one before.
Some people are just genetically pre-induced
to have that happen to them
and they have to drink some special formulations
of juices every day in order to help
with calcium excretion and absorption.
There's also a unique type of stones called struvite stones,
which happen as a result of some type of bacteria.
There's also ones that pop up on x-ray
and other ones that don't.
Kidney stones are interesting to study.
And the difference between the pain that a patient has
when they have a kidney stone versus,
let's say like an appendicitis is during an appendicitis,
they wanna sit still, they don't wanna move.
Moving causes pain.
With the kidney stone,
they're kind of like wriggling all the time,
trying to get the kidney stone loose or something.
"You have to let it breathe for a few minutes."
Hold on a second, hold on a second.
I gotta understand what's happening here.
Oh, he's saying that the NyQuil SEVERE is breathing,
not take it with alcohol, am I right?
That is way too much of a serving,
much like Mark Rober unfortunately did
when he overdosed and took way too much
of that coughing spray on "Hot Ones".
And I remember NyQuil is a medication
that has multiple medications in it.
So be careful with medications like that.
And also what we're seeing is long-term use
of medications as a sleep aid
like diphenhydramine can actually cause issues
with the brain.
So know that there are negative ramifications for using them
and understand that the benefits have
to outweigh those risks.
"My second attempt at making a protein shake.
What am I doing wrong?"
I feel like there's been efforts made
into making alcoholic beverages with protein,
and I stand firmly against this.
Medically, it doesn't make sense to make it,
quote, unquote, "healthier."
Anatomically, it doesn't make sense.
Culinary-wise, it doesn't make sense.
Mixology, doesn't make sense.
Just decide, are you gonna eat something that's unhealthy
for the fun of it and do it for your soul?
Or are you gonna go and try and eat healthy?
Like I feel like the blurring
of the lines thing gets confusing for me.
"Las Vegas, Vegas nerve, gambling,
hotels, Sphere, buffets, alcohol."
The vagus nerve is the primary driver
of the parasympathetic drive,
which is the rest, digest, and repair.
It should be called the anti-vagus nerve.
I'm gonna submit a letter to whoever,
who makes names for organs and nerves?
Is there an organization for that?
Can I challenge the name of something?
We're gonna write a letter.
They're probably gonna be like, "Who is this doctor?
Is this even a real doctor?"
They're gonna see my meme review
and they're gonna say, "Not a real doctor."
"Me watching Dr. Mike meme review
after having an existential crisis
and throwing up from fear."
Wait, I should have reassured you.
Despite us having almost no perfect knowledge
of anything in healthcare,
we still can sometimes make recommendations that work.
And look, cuddling with Bear is also
what I do every single night.
The connection between dog and man, it's a beautiful thing.
By the way, we have to have a poll.
Bear, come over here.
Okay, I'm considering getting a second one of you.
Wait, hold up, I'm not...
(production beeps) I must ask you a question.
If you want a brother, speak.
If you want a sister, speak.
- [Sam] I think the answer's pretty clear.
- Do you want a friend?
(Bear barks) - Okay, he wants a friend.
(laughs) That was not manipulative in any way.
Come here, give me a hug, give dad a hug.
We're twins.
If you approve me getting a second one of these giant ones,
let me know because I kind of have the space now,
and I feel like he wants a friend,
even though he's not being accurate about it.
Also, by the way, Bear lost the tooth.
He had it pulled. You can't even see it.
But can you smile for the camera?
Please submit more of your created memes in the subreddit
'cause those were trah.
I don't wanna say they're full trash, they're trah.
We're gonna get to sh very closely.
So please, please submit more,
and check out this video of where Bear and I now live.
This, he has a lot of room now. Click here, check that out.
And as always, stay happy and healthy.
(steady music)