have you guys heard about the gray rock method
it sounds really boring right it kind of sounds that i'm going to go on a rant about some kind of
physics physics chemistry but it's actually a method that i've heard recently of how
to deal with people that are narcissists have anti antisocial personality disorder
or even just toxic people that you are forced to deal with in your everyday life the gray
rock method is pretty simple you make yourself the most boring uninterested doll gray rock out there
people are going gonna remember a rock like this it's nice and white and painted on
people are gonna remember a rock like this because it's perfectly it's symmetrical it's like it's a
perfect circle but will anyone remember a rock like this so it's it's a metaphor it basically
allows you to keep your sanity and minimize the impact of emotional abuse that this narcissist
toxic person has on you so i'm gonna use this video to explain to you what gray rock is um a
few tips of how to do it but most importantly i'm gonna explain to you guys why gray rock method
should only be reserved for when you absolutely have to deal with this toxic person in your life
oh and i'm also going to explain how it differs from silent treatment so if you have no idea who i
am my name is olympia i have a degree in cognitive neuroscience and art history and what i like to do
i like to dissect that pretty little brain of yours to see what makes you tick but also makes
you talk so great about method let's go so for those who have engaged with a narcissist with the
person with antisocial personality disorder or just with toxic people in general you know that
they crave drama and how do they get drama from us yours truly they get drama from how we react um
our emotions our feelings our thoughts and how we express those emotions and feelings and thoughts
this is how they manage to manipulate us this is how they manage to abuse us
now i've done a very controversial series of visiting the dark side and seeing how things
look from a gaslighter's point of view so um make sure to check out how to gaslight someone and also
20 phases that gaslighters use the most popular 20 phrase that gaslighters use
because i think it's important not only to see it from the side of the victim
soon to be survivor but also on the side of the emotional abuser because you can't really
understand if it's happening to you if you don't visit the dark side so gray rock method
make yourself forgettable now how do you do that first of all make yourself forgettable
so wear doll clothes don't wear bright colors this may sound very detailed and a bit on over the top
but by wearing doll clothes making yourself self seem less appealing sexy um drawing attention
um try not to wear makeup okay i'm wearing makeup now but it um such things will make a toxic person
who doesn't really know you that wear it well so this could be this could work for example on
a co-worker that you have to interact with on a daily basis it can make you not really pay it and
not really draw attention because that's what you want you want to make yourself boring the second
thing so the first thing i said make yourself forgettable the second thing is offer nothing
now this is a very difficult um one to do for people that are prone to emotional abuse
because the whole part of being emotionally abused is that you put yourself out there
you are a lot you share the person your feelings uh you're a people pleaser which
is why it's so easy to be emotionally abused they pick um abusers will pick on your flaws
they'll pick on your insecurities so in order for you to gray rock them gray rockin
is that you don't offer them anything you don't offer advice you don't offer showing up you don't
respond but not in the not and this is what i mean that i wanted to explain the difference
between silent treatment and gray rocking is that silent treatment is done from the nurse's side and
it's a way to punish someone whereas gray rocking is about responding but not reacting
so if a person that is abusing you that um a toxic person in your life is telling you something don't
silence treat them because yes that is a type of emotional abuse but respond to them in a way that
makes you and your mental state safe so that could be through monotonous phrases or monosyllables
so if a person says for example coworker oh my god have you heard have you met the new person that
came to the job um did you know that this this this and this uh what is your opinion about them
and if you don't trust that person and you believe that they are emotionally abusing you and that
they will take whatever you say and tell it to the rest of the company just say no i haven't met them
oh okay well maybe when i meet them i'll be able to form an opinion it's just
very phrases that they cannot feed off of if a person is if your partner
and this is what i mean when i say that it's only people that you have to deal with
so if you are with someone that you are sharing custody of your kids or if even if you are with
a narcissist and for some reason a toxic person and for some reason you don't want to leave for
whatever reason that is i cannot make you no one can make you do something that you don't want to
um if they are saying things such if they're gaslighting you and
saying are things like these phrases such as you are overreacting okay you are being oversensitive
uh can you hear yourself i didn't say anything and this will drive the toxic people nuts
it may even cause them to lash out but long term it will keep you sane
and then they'll just move to another person that they want to control i've said this in
negan videos emotional abuse my emotional abuse playlist which i'll link below that these people
they crave control they're afraid that if they don't control you then you're not going to be with
them that they're not going to get their way so by making yourself utterly boring non-responsive
they have no drama to feed off of another thing that is part of the gray rocking method
rock on is that you avoid eye contact they say the eyes are the windows to someone's soul right
well if you are dealing with a toxic person chances are their soul bowl their soul cup is
pretty empty and i know that's harsh truth time but toxic people have really crappy souls if
they're doing this from a mean and emotional abuse perspective regardless of why they're doing it
so eye contact automatically builds a trust a trust our brain is triggered when looking into
someone else's eyes and you can tell for a lot from a person's eyes you can tell if they're lying
you can tell if they're trying to deceive you you can tell if they're angry happy this is why
models even though we may think that modeling is a very simple job it actually requires an acting
uh it actually requires a lot of eye play they have to convey an emotion especially models just
through their eyes and by avoiding eye contact you are allowing yourself to detach from that toxic
person and help and guard yourself your emotions your thoughts and ground yourself into your
reality so if you're still with me great apologies the microsoft the the the micro of the microphone
fell down the other thing is that obviously you don't want to tell them that they're you're grey
rocking them because that is giving them attention that is acknowledging that what they're doing is
affecting you and it's just reinforcing their need and validating that they do have control over you
and you're doing this for you not for them you're doing this to protect yourself not them grey
rocking is not a matter of fixing the narcissist fixing the toxic person that's up to them
so don't expect that if you're gray rocking uh um a person that they harsh truth time that they
will actually understand what they've done and they will change you don't you're not doing this
for change you're doing this as a coping mechanism because you have to and here's the part where i
want to emphasize why gray rocking is so important to be done only if it is necessary psychologists
out there have seen have noticed that gray rocking as makes sense requires a lot of effort of
disassociating and removing yourself from your emotions and thoughts so basically disconnecting
with your emotions and thoughts and this should only be done towards the toxic person
however adapting this mindset and mind shifting your mindset which is what my channel is about
um it can actually have the opposite effect in the sense that you disconnect with your entire
life with all your relationships and then suddenly you don't really know who you are
and you become this dull boring gray rock so this is what i mean when i say that make sure that this
person is worth keeping in your life and make sure you understand why you are keeping them in
your in your life but understanding why you need to do it can just reinforce your abilities and
your techniques of gray rocking so i hope these methods helped i hope these tips help um grey
rocking is not an easy thing to do so if you are in the process of doing it or if you're doing that
or you're about to do it very proud of you it shows a decisive and very hard step into removing
yourself from the toxic person mentally without removing them physically for whatever reason
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