(Orange sneezes)
- Orange, that is so gross.
Cover your mouth when you sneeze.
- How?
I don't have any hands.
(Orange snickers)
- Are you serious?
This is where the photo shoot is going to be?
- Be still my beating heart,
that is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.
- This kitchen is a total dump.
- PlayFruit magazine is looking for an
average kitchen locale, kind of a
fruit next door sort of vibe.
- Whatever, let's just get this over with, Richard.
Wait, what happened to all my outfits?
- Oh, these are your clothes?
Whoops, I mistook them for a Kleenex.
I'm guessing you're not gonna want these back.
- How disgusting, all of my lingerie is ruined.
- Oh darn, guess you'll have to do the shoot in the nude.
- I am not that kind of model, bro.
That kind of shoot is not in my contract and
I am offended you would even think I would stoop so low.
- It's alright love, we'll just improvise.
What just lying around?
You know, that you could wear.
- Oh, oh, wear this funny mustache.
- I am not going to wear a funny mustache.
Do you have any idea who I am?
- Hey, are you John Malkovich?
I hope so, I've always wanted to meet him.
- I am not John Malkovich, I am Hot Potato,
the hottest food model in the world, and this is
the most important photo shoot of my entire career,
so stop making jokes and find me something to wear.
- Here you go, you can wear this shirt of mine.
After you give it back to me,
I'll probably never wash it again.
- Now this, I can do something with.
- Wow!
- She's beautiful and talented.
I'm so excited I might puke.
- Don't do it Grapefruit, not again.
- I make no promises.
- Let's get this over with, Richard.
- Good, good, lovely, now keep it up.
I love the energy, let's see the other side.
Now, get wild, you're a tiger and
you just lost your child in the jungle,
you're trying to find him, you're very angry.
Okay, now you're scared, maybe there's
Slenderman over there, I don't know.
Okay, now you're angry, give me anger,
show me that attitude.
- Now you're a guy with a mustache.
- Will someone get this orange out of here?
He is ruining my shoot.
- Hey!
- Do not speak to me.
Someone get him out of here.
- Right away.
- Ooh, the light does go off when the door closes.
- Richard, let's continue.
- You're sexy now, show me sexy, you're a lunatic,
look at you, you're in the loony bin for goodness sakes,
there's nothing but padded rooms as far as the eye can see.
Now you're bewildered by the sheer size of the universe,
I'm Neil DeGrasse Tyson, let's talk about the cosmos.
Now, you're --
(Orange farts)
- Now I'm annoyed.
- Uh oh, hey, can someone let me out?
This is an enclosed space.
Please, I made a terrible mistake.
- Fine, let him out, we've got the photos we need anyway.
(Orange panting)
- Oh, thank you so much.
My life was flashing before my non-existent nostrils.
Oh, potato lady, you all good on outfits?
I've also got this Amish beard you can use if you want.
- How many times do I have to tell you?
Do not speak to me, I am too --
- Hot?
- Yes, I am too hot, get that through your
round little head body thing already.
- No, hot!
- What?!
(Hot Potato screams)
- Hot Potato!
No, I'll always love you.
(playful music)
- I'm okay, a little toasty,
but, I'll be fine.
- Hot Potato, look out for that knife.
- Oh, knives are fine, I go under the knife all the time.
(Orange clamors)
The only thing that would bother me now is sour cream.
No!
- Really, the sour cream is what scares you?
- Do you know how fattening sour cream is?
No, not cheese, the bacon bits, not the bacon bits!
(Hot Potato screams in pain)
- This is terrible.
- You're telling me, guess what
I've just realized, you guys.
I forgot to put film in the camera.
I know right?
This whole shoots been total waste.
- Unless!
- Fine, might as well, what do they say?
When in Rome.
- Hahaha, yes!
I'm sexy, now I'm bewildered, now I'm annoying,
now I'm an orange.
- Wow, you know what?
I'm a bit surprised, not going to lie,
this photo shoot is turning out a
little bit better than I thought.
- Yeah, as a matter of fact, I'm so surprised,
I might --
(Grapefruit vomits)