SO THIS WEEKEND AT COMEDY ZONE,
STEVE BURNS IS HERE WITH US NOW.
>> YOU DID AMAZING RESEARCH ON
YOUTUB
YOUTUBE.
>> I KNOW.
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
>> THAT WAS THE CLEANEST JOKE
YOU COULD FIND I THINK.
>> YEAH.
PRETTY MUCH
[LAUGHS]
>> THAT WAS A CHALLENGE.
OKAY.
>> THAT WAS MY FIRST COMEDY
CENTRAL SPECIAL AND I THINK -- I
REMEMBER IT BECAUSE THE LAST
JOKE I DO I'M ON ALL FOURS DOING
AN S-E-X ACT.
I WAS BANGING MY HEAD ON THE
STAGE AND LOOKING AT THE
AUDIENCE AND MY MOM IS LOOKING
AT ME.
>>
[LAUGHS]
OH, NO!
>> WAS THAT HER FIRST TIME
SEEING YOU PERFORM?
>> NO.
SHE HAD SEEN IT BEFORE.
SO NEEDLESS TO SAY WHEN WE MET
EYES WE HAD A CONNECTION.
THAT'S MY MOM
[LAUGHS]
>> ARE YOU STILL HER BABY BOY?
>> YES.
YES.
LET'S NOT BRING THIS UP NOW.
>> I'M 40.
WITH THE BODY OF A CUBICLE
WORKER
[LAUGHS]
I'M GETTING OLDER.
I EAT LIKE AN EIGHTH GRADER.
>> YOU AND RANCE WOULD GET
ALONG GREAT.
>> ACTUALLY WE WOULDN'T GET
ALONG.
YOU'RE FROM PITTSBURGH AND
STEELERS COWBOYS, ANIMOSITY.
>> WELL, IT'S NOT A CHALLENGE
TO ME.
HOW YOU DOING?
[LAUGHS]
>> WELL -- UM --
>> THE STADIUM.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
I DID RECENTLY TURN 40.
AND I THINK TURNING 40 IS A
PRETTY MUCH -- BIRTHDAY COMING
UP.
AND I WILL NOT ASK HOW OLD THE
LADY IS.
HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?
[LAUGHS]
I THINK YOU LOOK BACK ON THE
GOALS YOU MADE IN YOUR 20S.
IN YOUR 20S YOU REALLY MAKE
GOALS LIKE I'M GOING TO BE A
ROCK STAR, MOVIE STAR.
MILLIONAIRE.
ONCE YOU TURN 40 YOU'RE LIKE, I
JUST WANT TO DIE IN MY SLEEP.
>> (LAUGHING).
>> WHATEVER IS THE LEAST
PAINFUL.
BUT MY ULTIMATE GOAL, RIVER CITY
LIVE.
>>
[APPLAUSE]
TIME AND TIME AGAIN WE HEAR
THAT.
IT FEELS GOOD EVERY TIME.
>> IF YOU THINK THE STUDIO IS
NICE, YOU HAVE TO SEE THE GREEN
ROOM.
SENSATIO
SENSATIONAL
SENSATIONAL.
>> DID YOU ASK FOR A PLASTIC
CUP?
WE DO PROVIDE THOSE.
>> JUST FOR THE ATTITUDE I'M
GOING TO
[LAUGHS]
>> I THINK HER BIRTHDAY IS
COMING UP.
THAT'S WHY.
I WANT HER TO KNOW.
WE'RE FRIENDS NOW.
>> SURE.
YEAH.
CAMERAS ARE ON.
YOU GET IT.
>> DO YOU HAVE A GREAT
METABOLISM?
>> I'M WORKING OUT TOO.
BOTH.
>> SO WHAT'S THE MOST YOU EVER
BENCH PRESSED?
>> (INAUDIBLE).
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
REALLY?
WE'RE NOT GOING $1 OVER.
I LIKE THE CHEMISTRY.
AND THIS IS A GREAT ROAD TRIP.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF THAT WOULD
BE THAT MUCH FUN.
ELIZABETH -- I KIND OF TREAT HER
LIKE MY LITTLE SISTER.
>> WE CALL HER BIG THUMBS BACK
HOME.
>> LET'S SEE YOUR THUMBS.
>> KIND OF THUMBY.
IF YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO USE
TINDER, YOU SHOULD HAVE THE GUTS
TO USE IT IN A REAL BAR.
I THINK IT'S A CHEAP WAY OF
MEETING PEOPLE.
SO WHY DON'T YOU USE IT IN REAL
LIFE.
JUST TAP HER ON THE SHOULDER.
>> WE KNOW YOU WANT MORE FROM
THE COMEDY ZONE.
WE EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN
TICKETS.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
TWO PAIRS OF TICKETS TO GIVE
AWAY FOR THE FOURTH AND FIFTH
PERSON.
JUST E-MAIL TO SEE STEVE TONIGHT
AT 7:30 P.M. IF YOU CAN'T MAKE
IT TONIGHT, DON'T E-MAIL US.
E-MAIL RCLCONTESTS@WJXT.COM.
THANKS FOR COMING ON THE SHOW.
>> I LOVE STEVE.
OKAY.