There's a happy baby. Aren't you?
[Baby Noises] Aren't you?
Give me your purse.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
Shut up!
[Itchy and Scratchy Theme Song]
Hey there meat head, what are you watching?
It's a new episode.
Not exactly. They pieced it together from old shows and it seems new to the trusting eyes of impressionable youth.
Y'ello?
Sire, your wife is dead. There's blood everywhere.
[Crying]
[Sigh]
Bart, Lisa, I have something to tell you.
[Crying]
Goodbye Bart.
Goodbye Lisa, I know you'll make me proud.
Almost there.
Homer?
Marge?
Yeah, you want a ride?
Sure.
Why so glum?
[Sigh] I got a problem.
Once you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you, and kiss you, and I'll never be able to let you go.
[Snoring]
Tune in tomorrow when another lucky family tries to win their dreams on Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show!
You the man who reported the lost baby?
Yes.
Can you describe her?
Uh... She's small... She's a girl...
Bingo!
Oh Maggie!
Not so fast!
You found my baby! Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!
[Giggle] Shucks.
She didn't grab our attention with memorable catch phrases or comical accents.
Aye.
Yarr.
Oh gwavin! Why? Gwavin!
Marge, I'm gonna miss you so much.
And it's not just the sex, it's also the food preparation.
But mostly I'll miss how lucky you make me feel each and every morning.
[Grunts]
Lisa, the object of the game is to avoid the balls by weaving or ducking out of it's path.
I'm too sad.
Too sad to play dodgeball? That's ridiculous. Now let's see some enthusiasm!
Hello class!
Hi Bart! Over here, sweetie!
It's me, mom. Hi! Hey! Hello!
[Groan] I wish I was dead.
Are you there god? It's me, Bart Simpson.
I know I never paid too much attention in church but I could really use some of that good stuff now.
I'm afraid.
[Crying]
[Groan]
Hey, what's this? Marge's memory chest?
Moe's Tavern, grand opening.
Hey, there's writing on the back of this.
Dear Homer...
I wrote a poem for you this afternoon. It's called "To a Husband".
Blackened clouds are forming, soon the rain will fall.
My dear one is departing, but first please heed this call.
That always will I love you, my one, my love, my all.
Now this is living, eh kids? Hot pizza!
Don't be scared dad, it's not so hard taking care of us.
[Chuckle] Lisa, I'm not scared. I think it's a great chance to spend some time with you kids.
Your mother always gets to be alone with you and now it's my turn.
Does the time always drag like this?
Yes...
She's getting impatient, take a stab at it.
Starting right now I promise to spend a lot more time with you and give you the attention you deserve.
[Grunt]
[Muffled] I can't breathe.
Dad, we're running out of clean clothes.
It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever.
Go up to the attic, there's a whole trunk of clothes up there.
My friends, the devil walks among us!
Uh...
No...
[Humming]
Son, my dead son.
From now on, I'm going to be a good and attentive father.
There he sits with a pen and a yellow pad. What a handsome lad. That's my boy.
[Screaming]
[Groan]
Bart, didn't I ask you to watch Maggie?
Sounds like something you'd say.
Hey where is she?
[Laughing]
Homer, it's Neddy. I baked you a little something to ease the pain.
Mmmm... Snickers pie.
I got the best dad in the whole world!
That's probably never gonna happen.
Lost your dad?
Uh huh.
He's not coming back is he?
He might.
No he's not.
But at Bigger Brothers, we can help.
Hello, Bigger Brothers? My name is Bart Simpson and I don't have a father.
Look Homer, Lisa's taking her first steps.
I'll love you for the rest of my life.
That is so sad.
You broke a promise to your child.
You made her cry, then I cried, then Maggie laughed.
She's such a little trooper.
[Crying]
[Groan] Time to repress another memory.
[Crying]
I am at Disneyland... Disneyland!
[Song]
Wherever my soulmate is... it's not here.
Do I dare to go up or is the love that waits behind that window just a lie?
Uh Homer, I think you want your house next door.
Stupid Flanders and his misleading silhouette.
Well I guess I have no choice but to go back home and... Hey.
Marge, thank god you're here.
Where's the car?
Marge? Marge?
Oh now what? Come on Marge! You! It's not fair, I never do this to you!
Talk to me!
[Scream]