Before I knew the Lord, I grew up in a really broken just broken home. Raised
with a single mom of six kids and before I was even born, my father did not want me.
So I never had a father figure in my life. My mother never nourished me or comforted
me in any way. Actually my mother abused me. Abused me so bad that I was almost killed by
the hands of my mother and so growing up with extreme abuse as a child, I ended up
enduring a lot of anger. So the anger caused me to fight back. So I was always fighting.
I ended up on the streets. I was emancipated at 15 years old. Before I was emancipated, I got into
gangs and so I was in the gang life, doing a lot of bad things that I should have never been doing.
I'd never known Christ, was never introduced to Him as in my family and so just growing up really
in ugly place and so and with that being said, I hated my mother. I hated my mother. I hated my
father. I felt unloved. I had abandonment issues, rejection issues and it wasn't until my early 30s,
I got to know who Jesus Christ was and I had an encounter and then after that, I ended up getting
church hurt. So I slid back. I was involved in a lot of drugs and alcohol. I actually started
smoking cigarettes in third grade. In third grade, I was smoking cigarettes and by 11 years old,
I was smoking marijuana. Extremely addicted to marijuana, drugs, alcohol and just really ran an
ugly fast life, very destructive. I was in and out of jail, spent about four and a half
years of my young life in jail and accumulated a lot of fines and stuff but by the grace of God,
God had His hand over me before I even knew Him and I would reach out and just say 'God,
help me.' 'God, I want to change,' just little stuff like that. My early 30s, I finally
like I said relates to Jesus was and started to build a relationship with Him and fell away, fell
back into the world and continued the lifestyle of back and forth. It was just going nowhere. I
was going in circles. It wasn't until 2020 when I can honestly say a lot of people hated 2020. I'm
grateful for 2020 because 2020 gave me vision. The Lord came into my life and I fully accepted
Him and surrendered and gave my whole life to the Lord and said, "I'm done. Have Your way."
What began to happen during that time? After that, He started healing me and I forgave my mother
which was the hardest thing to do. I forgave her. Matter of fact, I had compassion for her.
I had a heart full of hatred that was so dark and ugly that I had a very murderous mind. I even had
plans and plots of like what I could do to her. I was suicidal before all that. I attempted it four
times. It never worked but by the grace of God, it was all God. He said, I'm not done with you and
so now I live for the Lord and I'm so grateful. My whole household serves the Lord and I just want to
say this too. My daughter struggled with alcohol and anger and I know these are also things that
are part of generational curses and so she was delivered from that here at HungryGen, last month.
Come on. Let's get up for Jesus. Wow. So what other changes beside your daughter now coming
to the Lord and you kind of experiencing more freedom. What else have you seen in your life?
You know one of the biggest things I can say that I've learned is forgiveness. Forgiveness sets you
free. No matter what, people are going to always hurt you. They're gonna fail you but if you walk
with a heart that truly loves and lives for the Lord, you learn that forgiveness is something that
we need to always have because nobody's perfect. I make mistakes. I fall short to His glory all
the time. So who am I to ask for forgiveness from the Lord if I can't forgive others and
so I believe that forgiveness has truly set me free from everything that was trying to
hold me back and down and take me back to that place of anger because when we don't forgive,
we start to become bitter and angry and that stems a root of just chaos and so I want to
just say that forgiveness has been a big part of my walk like I walk in it every day because
people hurt my feelings every day. So you know if I don't walk in that forgiveness and love, then
I will become that hard, ugly shell that I used to be and I will no longer want to
be that person. God has set me free. God has given me new life and God has truly blessed me
in so many ways that I will never go back. Come on. Let's give it up for Jesus one more time!
Joanna, you actually also completed Destiny training and Life class.
How was that? It was amazing. I encourage everybody to go do it.
I've learned some more stuff about myself. I was able to do some more
self-reflection but also learn some tools on how to deal with things, how to respond and react and
also just how to walk forward in God's grace, love, mercy and to help others. Amen. Thank
you so much for sharing your story. Come on. Let's give it up for what Jesus did in her life!