-Now, we all love our pets,
and every pet owner thinks that their pet is the best.
Well, I wanted to see if that was true,
so it's time for "Why Is Your Pet Better Than Me?"
Here we go.
-♪ Why is your pet better than me? ♪
♪ Better than me ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright, let's meet our first pet.
Welcome. What is your name, and where are you from?
Oh, I see somebody.
-I'm Jessica Hentoff. I'm from St. Louis, Missouri.
-Yeah, hello!
Oh, we love St. Louis.
Jessica, thank you for joining.
And who do you have with you there? Wow.
-This is Miss Maple. -Oh, Miss Maple.
It is a pleasure to meet you, Maple.
Can you tell me, Jessica, why is your pet better than me?
-Because Miss Maple can pack her own suitcase.
[ Audience "Ohs" ]
-That's true. I really can't pack my own suitcase, but --
She can pack her own suitcase?
Can we see it?
-Of course you can.
-Alright.
Wow.
-Maple.
-They just loosened the travel restrictions, so this is --
-Are you ready?
-Yeah, sure. Drum roll, maybe?
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
-Back up. Back up.
-[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God.
What?!
That is unbelievable.
Maple, great job!
Jessica, Maple, great job.
Oh, my gosh.
Maple, let us see your -- your cute little face.
Oh, fantastic job.
Jessica, thank you very much.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Nailed it. Nailed it right there.
Let's meet our next pet.
Hello. What is your name, and where are you from?
-Hello. I'm Lynne, and I'm from Derbyshire in England.
-Oh, my goodness. [ Cheers and applause ]
This is --
Now, Lynne, you have a lot --
Seems like you have a lot of pets there.
Who is the gang there?
-I've got 10 toy poodles altogether.
They're all family.
Mojo, in fact, here is a grandma.
And then I've got aunties, uncles, daughters,
all sorts here.
This is Pixie. -Hi, Pixie.
Yeah, Pixie is like, "I want to do a trick, too."
But which one tonight is gonna show off their talent?
-It's our little Mojo here that is our trick dog.
-Oh, wow, alright. So this is --
Mojo, this is your big, shining moment.
Mojo all the way from England.
Mojo, why are you better than me?
What's your trick, pal?
-Well, Mojo can play the piano and sing.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I can't do that.
But I try.
But, alright, let's hear Mojo and see what we have.
Whenever you're ready, Lynne. Thank you so much.
-Okay. Mojo, Mojo, Moj.
Come play Play, play.
[ Piano playing ] Come play.
Play, play.
-[ Laughs ]
That's it. That's all you need.
Mojo, great job.
[ Piano playing ]
[ Dog barking ]
-Sing. Sing.
-Oh, my God.
Playing all the hits.
Mojo, thank you for playing the hits.
I know people don't want to play the hits.
Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
Lynne, Lynne, that was fantastic.
Thank you very, very much.
Now it's time to meet our last pet.
Hello. What is your name, and where are you from?
-Hi. I'm Kelly from Orange County, California.
-Hey, Kelly from Orange County.
Yeah, we love ya.
Kelly, who do you have there with you?
-I have my pigs, Norman and PigPig.
-Oh, my gosh. And PigPig is great.
Now, I love the name PigPig.
Kelly, why is PigPig and Norman better than me?
-Well, I believe that they're better than you
they they can drink a beer, non-alcoholic beer,
in 30 seconds faster than you.
[ Audience "Ohs" ]
-I've never drank a non-alcoholic beer.
[ Rim shot ] Thank you very much.
No, the pig can chug a non-alcoholic beer
in 30 seconds?
I'd love to see this.
-They're better than a frat boy.
-Can we get 30 seconds on the clock?
Roots?
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
Whenever you're ready.
-Go for it.
-Yeah, go for it, buddy.
Yeah, they love it!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, the party animals. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-And what's beer without some beer nuts?
-They are -- They are literally party animals.
I love it so much.
A great job to all of our talented pets.
If you have a pet you think is better than me,
I want to see it.
Go to tonightshow.com/ whyisyourpetbetterthanme.
Submit a video of your pet.