Closed Captions/Subtitles manually added by iiAFX.
(man laughing)
So this is a show for children?
Yeah, it's huge.
What the?
You are here to be sacrificed to an evil god from the ocean depths!
Spongebob?
No!
(Patrick laughing on TV)
It's a giraffe!
This way, you freak!
Don't.
This-this-this way, you big, stupid, great... SpongeBob!
Look at this.
"Who are your heroes?"
"Mommy. Daddy. and Spongebob."
I guess it's just Spongebob now.
Can you maybe ease up on the criticism?
You made Spongebob cry through his makeup.
Well, if he were a believable sponge, he'd be able to sop up his tears.
I'm glad I'm not a white man, Mr. Donaghy.
Is Spongebob Squarepants supposed to be terrifying?
You're darn right he is, Kenneth.
(laughs)
Who is this guy?
Do kids like Cheese Businessman?
(laughs loudly)
It's funny, isn't it?
(laughs)
It's genius!
He's a sponge, but he talks!
Whoa! It's the voice of Plankton!
No, I am not the v--
I mean...
(as Plankton): Karen, I must have the secret formula
for the Krabby Patties.
You gonna tell me that Elmo isn't real?
Huh?
Spongebob?
Is he not real, Brian?
Is-Is SpongeBob not there at the bottom of the ocean
giving Squidward the business? Hmm?
I know you're feeling a little down
so I made you one of my famous apology cakes.
Just pretend Spongebob is me.
and instead of having amazing adventures under the sea,
He's sorry he insulted his family.
Where's my mother?
She left.
Why?
I don't know. We were watching "Spongebob Squarepants"
and then she stood up and said "life is too short."
Would you zip it, nerd?
The only reason we invited you is because, for some reason,
You have your own Spongebob Squarepants costume.
It was a gift.
(thinking): From me to me.
Look at him. - Look!
A sponge and a starfish.
There's gotta be something we could make out of this.
Aw! Oh, no! That's ridiculous!
So do we, sometimes.
Although, mostly, our diet consists of crabs, starfish,
and the occasional underwater squirrel.
(burps)
I can't figure out is how she managed it because every time I throw one in here,
it turns into Spongebob Squarepants.
Hum it again.
(humming melody)
Is that the "Spongebob" song?
♫ Who lives in a pineapple ♫--
Nope.
You're trespassing in this city and on this planet.
He means get lost, Squidward!
Remember when SpongeBob got that jellyfish as a pet,
and he put it on a leash? - Yeah.
Squidward hated that jellyfish.
So, this guy, he's not from around here?
No, Dad, SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea.
We need a diversion.
Tell kids, Spongebob in front of school.
I don't know what kids like.
...sitting in front of "Dragon Ball Z" right where I left him.
I think it's too violent.
You think Spongebob is too violent.
No, I never it was violent. I said it was ugly.
...and we took away TV for a month.
Wow...
A month without the stupid, talking sponge.
That's gonna hurt!
Hey, I came over here to check in
on that helpless, poor, old woman.
Excuse me for being an exemplary grandson.
Listen, SpongeBob BrownPants.
This is the best day ever!
Ah!
Alright, Squarepants,
Have you caught a fish called Nemo lately?
Nemo? How would I know?
Wait a second. How are you breathing down here?
It's what I do!
So..
What would you like to watch?
Spongebob! Can we please watch Spongebob?
Yeah.
Um, you know that Spongebob isn't white, don't you?
Oh, what? Like he's gonna get crushed
by a giant Spongebob?
Hey! Spongebob lives underwater.
So, you know who I am, right?
Derelicte was the dumbest, dude.
You and SpongeBob are, honestly, like, my biggest influences ever, dude.
You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel.
Turns out, that if you kill a starfish,
It'll just come back to life.
Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts?
because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
Perhaps, we should help.
Screw her!
Hahahaha!
(laughing maniacally)
(laughter continues)