Hey Siri, play a song by the band Corona !
SIRI : Here's "The Rhythm of the Night" by Corona
♪ [Song playing] ♪
Bonjour Dickheads !
Welcome to another episode of the vlog !
Today
day seven of confinement in Paris.
I hope you're well !
I just wanted to say 'hi' and make a little video
to kind of show you my... my daily routine so far.
First of all, being confined
with your wife and baby in a small flat
for a week is...
[laughs]
is not the funniest thing.
You're used to seeing this kind of background of the vlog
because it's the only part of the flat that I really show.
But ultimately, the flat is quite small.
This is just the living room this is where I shoot, this is like the office area.
And in this side, is just... like... there's a playpen there
that my daughter doesn't use because she hates the playpen, she doesn't like it.
We put her in it for five seconds, and then she goes crazy.
And then just through here, we've got our bedroom,
the baby's bedroom, the toilet and stuff
and then the kitchen is just through here.
So it's just a tiny flat, and being confined
with a nine month year old
has been a bit of a challenge !
It's mainly been a challenge because she's not quite old enough
that she can play on her own in the flat
and she's not quite young enough that she's like a vegetable
that doesn't move. She's right in between two.
Nine months. She's basically running around the house
doing everything she's not supposed to be doing.
And pulling stuff out of shelves, like these shelves here
that we have stuff in, she's always pulling stuff out of there
doing stuff that she's not supposed to do.
Right now, she's playing with my camera lens.
Where are you ?
Look, the camera lens cap.
There you go, you play with that for a little while.
And... yeah. So, she's... We have to be behind her the whole time.
On top of the three of us being confined in this flat
our cat has got cancer.
Our fifteen year old cat.
And he goes through radiotherapy and chemotherapy every Monday
and so that's why my wife is not here for half...
[baby expressing herself]
It's why my wife is not here for half a hour.
So that's why I'm recording this video while there's only two of us
in the apartment.
Also, like the worst part of the confinement
is that the weather...
is unbelievable right now.
It's warm, it's sunny, and it's just really annoying.
The daily routine basically consists of
me waking up
at about 10:00 or 11:00...
What ?! 10:00 or 11:00 ?!
What are you talking about Paul, I thought you had a baby ?!
How are you getting up so late ?!
I'll get to that, in a moment.
Basically, I get up around 10:00 or 11:00...
and...
Thanks ! Thanks for giving me this back by the way, thank you.
That's very kind of you !
You can have it back if you want.
You can play with it some more if you want.
I know, Daddy's crazy, he's speaking to a camera, very loudly
and you don't know what's going on.
That's actually the only time that she's been calm.
She's looking at my... she's looking at me in the screen now.
She's just here. Look, baby hand, 'hi !'
No no, don't touch the screen !
No, no, don't pull... [laugh]
Let go of the screen... no, let go of the screen...
No, no, no, don't pull the camera more...
[laugh]
I'm just waiting for the camera to go on the floor basically
and smash.
At 10:00 or 11:00, usually the baby is asleep
on my wife. We have a baby carrier
and she sleeps in the baby carrier.
So, often
I'm waking up as the little one
is having a nap.
And then, I basically ask my wife if she wants a cup of coffee
while a make myself a cup of tea.
The first cup of tea of many of the morning.
Once I have my cup of tea
then I tend to go on my computer
check my emails, check the stuff that I've gotta do
if there's any work stuff happening
and by the time we do all of that and we organize it
it's basically lunch time.
Obviously, in order to cook food, you need to have food with you
which is one of the reasons you can leave the house.
We have left, in seven days, we've left the house once.
Well, my wife twice, to go get the cat that is dying.
But we left once to go do shopping together.
I mean, walking around our suburb is pretty empty anyway
so there wasn't really much that had changed
apart from the fact that when you got to the supermarket
there was a queue outside of people waiting
all respecting the one meter distance.
And then, on the roundabout, just in front
the police were checking the little form that you have to download
in Paris, in France, to leave the house, officially.
And then we spend most of the rest of the day just hanging out.
Louise takes a nap in the afternoon on me
I carry her in the baby carrier.
That usually lasts for an hour and an half, or two hours
which means that I can then put in my headphones
and watch some YouTube
and some Netflix or whatever it is
while my wife does the things that she has to do
in the apartment.
Don't break Mum's necklaces please, she'll be very angry.
Some of you have been asking about work...
What's happening with work, with my work.
During the crisis, obviously
it's kind of difficult being a comedian...
You do shows, you do stand-up shows.
That's where all my money comes from basically.
And, as you know, everything's shut down.
There are no shows happening anywhere in France.
So yeah, it's a little bit difficult really...
I don't really know what's gonna happen
we don't know when this is gonna go back to normal...
I'm kind of hoping soon
just because then I can get back to work
I can start doing my stand-up again.
And yeah, people can start enjoying life again.
But it's a... it's a though one. Everyone is impacted really.
I'd love to find out from you guys
what jobs you do...
[baby expressing herself]
and so does Louise apparently.
What jobs you do and how you're impacted ?
What are you doing during this quarantine period
or self-isolation period, if you're not yet on lockdown.
And part of the work I'm currently doing is I'm working on
a podcast.
A podcast, Paul, really ?!
You mean like every other person on the planet is working on a podcast !
Blahhh !
Yeah, it's not a quarantine podcast.
It's like a proper, officially
produced podcast
about learning English, basically.
So, I'm working on that currently with a friend of mine
called Sarah Donnelly. She's American
and she's also a stand-up comedian.
So we're working on this project together
and we had to record...
[baby expressing herself]
a test episode.
Basically, the pilot episode of the thing.
We had to record it essentially over Skype.
And then record using our iPhones to record the sound
separately
and then combine those and then send it over.
The thing is, me and Sarah are in the same situation, we both have kids
that go to sleep about 8:00 p.m.
So essentially, we started work at 9:00 p.m.
and because this flat is so small
I couldn't record the podcast...
[baby expressing herself]
at my desk, because I would wake Louise up.
So I had to go down to my car
to have good recording conditions
where I could speak at a normal volume
and not have to whisper.
So, quick update from the car...
I was recording... my video...
my podcast !
With Sarah Donnelly, friend of mine, and...
her headphones are...
not working.
And we recorded half an hour
and now she's got to fix it, and try again.
So yeah, this is what working from home is like...
Working from home ? Working technically from home...
Technically from my car...
during a global pandemic.
In terms of my stand-up show, if any of you bought tickets
to come and see any of the shows recently...
they've all been postponed.
Postponed means that you get to keep the tickets
and they're still valid for the new dates that we're setting.
And some of the dates we have already
some of them we don't yet have, because the theatres are now shut
so we need to wait for them to reopen in order to find a new date...
But all your tickets will be valid for the new shows.
Some of them, unfortunately you have to wait a year
which is really unfortunate.
But at least, it means that the show is still happening.
And the reason it's taking so long
it's just that there's thousands of shows being rescheduled right now
and...
you know, everyone's trying to book the same room.
So, it's a very difficult...
[baby expressing herself]
It's a very difficult time.
And basically, once the baby is in bed
around about 8:00 p.m., then me and my wife we have
a couple hours together, to have dinner
watch TV, watch the news
what's happening, see how bad this thing is getting
all across the world.
So then my wife goes to bed about 12:00, midnight...
and then I stay up for another two hours essentially.
Either I go to bed with her
and then my mind is going around for two hours
or I stay up in the living room...
and just try to reflect, try to do some creative thinking...
to try and see what I can get out of this time in confinement, you know.
I think a lot of people are like
yeah, write that book that you always wanted to write
do the project that you always wanted to do, read some books
do your... With the baby, we have zero time
to do any of that, basically.
And so I go to sleep at about 2:00
which is why I then wake up
later at about 10:00 or 11:00.
But also, because in the middle of the night
we get woken up by the other cat
not the cat that is dying
but by the other cat who's just a greedy bastard
and wakes us up in the middle of the night
for some food, around about 4:00, 5:00
depends on the day...
And if you're wondering, oh Paul it's just a cat that miaows...
Listen to this cat miaow !
[cat making weird loud miaow]
[cat still maiowing weird and loud]
It's horrific !
But also, it's horrific but everyone is in the same situation.
Everyone's got their own...
[baby expressing herself]
shit going on...
[baby still expressing herself]
and I'm in no way complaining.
It's just, you know, it's just a new rhythm.
♪ New rhythm of the night ♪
♪ wooo, wooo ♪
♪ oh yeah... ♪
So everyone's got to find their own rhythm in this new period
of uncertainty... And try and figure out, basically.
So that's it for this episode of the vlog.
I've got nothing else to say I think... apart from
take care, don't leave the house unless you absolutely have to...
And just try and keep your spirits up
watch all the shows that you didn't get to watch, and if...
[baby expressing herself]
and if you don't have a kid...
I envy you !
It's so much fun having a kid.
Alright, that's it for this episode. Love you guys, and see you very soon !
Bisous, bye !
Hold on, I completly forgot to say...
Thank you !
For watching "#Franglais"
I put the full show up...
I put the full show up on YouTube
and you guys have been great, you've been watching it, sharing it...
Thank you so much, keep doing that !
And also, if you get bored, you can watch all of my other content
"What The Fuck France" which is on the other YouTube channel
and "Stereoptrip" which is on the other YouTube channel.
Alright, that's it for now.
Love you guys ! Bisous, bye !
Wait, wait, wait, it's me again
I've forgotten one thing...
[applause and cheering sounds outside]
Every day, we say thank you to the health workers here
that are looking after all the people in the hospitals that are sick
and doing a fucking amazing job
given the circumstances, so...
So here's to everyone
that works in hospitals. Good luck guys !
You're doing a fucking great job !
[clapping]