Since the Infinity War film came out, people have being wondering what exactly it will
take in order to stop Thanos.
In the comics, it’s his own misjudgment that leads to his end, and often his own self-doubt.
But, like with most superior antagonists, sometimes, you’ve gotta get real creative
to bring them to an end.
And sometimes, that creativity can be substituted with stupidity.
So today, we’re counting down the top 10 dumbest superheroes that can beat Thanos.
Some of these numbers are logical, others are downright silly.
And yes friends, this list gets ridiculous.
Absolutely ridiculous.
10 Mister Immortal The Great Lakes Avengers are filled with an
interesting cast of characters.
Some of them arguably fall into dumb territory, while others definitely have their uses.
I mean, they’re a team that received two cease and desist letters concerning their
team name, and went through multiple other name changes because of various preferences
– they called themselves Great Lakes X-Men when they realized they were all mutants,
which Marvel Girl was NOT having.
Anywho, their leader is Mister Immortal, and his main power is that he is immortal.
But, his immortality is via resurrection.
Meaning he can die and die and die again, all to come back to life.
He can literally pull a much slower version of what the MCU Doctor Strange did with Dormammu
but to Thanos.
And Thanos will EVENTUALLY get tired of him enough to listen to his requests.
Maybe.
And where this next character goes, Mister Immortal is never too far behind…
IMSOSORRY
9 Dinah Soar Mister Immortal’s love interest and dinosaur
themed superhero, Dinah Soar is a member of the West Coast Avengers who first appeared
in 1989.
How would she defeat Thanos?
By utterly BAFFLING him.
Look at her.
How do you not look at that costume and think, wow, I never thought I’d see something that
would make me dislike dinosaurs.
But there she is, wearing a costume that looks like she crawled out of some sort of weird
fetish porn website.
Of course, her presence would be used as a sacrificial lamb of sorts, being a distraction
for a few seconds while Thanos is like WTF, giving the real heroes who ACTUALLY stand
a chance at defeating him a small window to take a shot at him and end his reign of terror.
But hey, distractions are important too!
And she could legitimately be one.
Her powers consist of empathetic calming powers.
8 Molecule Man Owen Reece has an incredibly useful power
– he can manipulate molecules mentally, and can create the likes of energy beams,
force fields and hyperspace portals.
He can also warp reality on a multiversal scale.
So he’s essentially a walking talking reality gem of sorts, which gives him at least a decent
shot at defeating Thanos.
7 Bibleman As Bibleman’s story goes, a man named Miles
Peterson was a wealthy dude who had success and fame.
But he wasn’t happy.
After he aggressively tosses himself down to the ground in anguish, he discovers a Bible
covered in mud and discovers within himself a burning desire to know God, fighting evil
in the name of the lord.
So you probably know where this is going.
Bibleman would obviously use the power of scripture to teach Thanos the way of the lord
and turn him away from doing evil!
I mean, according to the logic of Bibleman’s world, it’s totally plausible.
Maybe not so much in the Marvel Universe though.
6 Leather Boy Obviously he would dominate Thanos into submitting.
5 Sonic the Hedgehog So, hear me out.
Sonic is basically the hedgehog version of Thanos.
When he collects all of the chaos emeralds, he turns into Super Sonic, and is UNSTOPPABLE.
And hey, look at all the weird crap Sonic has defeated in the past.
CHAOS.
SOLARIS.
INFINITE.
DARK GAIA.
And all those other wild robotic concotions that Eggman has thrown his way.
It’s sheer insanity that a blue hedgehog who runs fast could defeat any of those villains
that he encounters in his later games that go beyond Robotnik’s inventions, so yeah,
I’d bank on him pulling some deus ex machina crap and saving the day from Thanos’ takeover.
4 He-Man He-Man has got a whole lot of power.
Super speed, indestructible skin, and super strength that doesn’t have a stated limit
– he once lifted Castle Grayskull and tossed in through a dimensional doorway.
So yeah, dude has some muscle.
He’s also pushed a moon into a specific orbit, and later returned it to his previous
position by hand.
He’s considered to be the strongest man in the universe.
But, the best thing about He-Man is that he considers violence to be the last resort.
Meaning if he came across Thanos, he’d be more inclined to approach the villain with
other peaceful solutions before fighting him.
And considering how cheesy Prince Adam can be, he may actually manage to reach out to
him.
Thanos could boast that he has the infinity gauntlet, He-Man would announce that he has
the power, and then they have a pleasant little chat.
Who could resist those muscles, luscious blonde hair and boy next door charm?
NOT DIONE.
DEFINITELY NOT DIONE.
3 Goku Goku can BECOME A GOD.
The Dragonball hero seemingly has an unlimited amount of power that he can draw from, and,
if you’ve seen any of our versus videos, you know it’s next to impossible to defeat
him.
Which is why he’s on this list – Goku can even defeat SUPERMAN, and the man of steel
is practically invincible himself.
The sayian is pretty much a trump card when it comes to hypothetical battles.
But in all seriousness, Goku has powers that are pretty equivalent to Captain Marvel’s,
and considering Mar-Vell has a history of taking on the Mad Titan and has defeated him
in the past, we’re pretty sure Goku would find a way.
2 Matter Eater Lad Dude eats matter.
He can literally consume anything.
His abilities allow him to bite through and consume all forms of matter, including matter
than is supposedly indestructible.
That means he could literally bite Thanos’ head off if the mad titan wasn’t watching
his back or let his guard down.
Ah Matter Eat Lad.
So much potential.
1 Squirrel Girl Perhaps the most legit ridiculous hero who
could put an end to Thanos is Squirrel Girl.
She’s got quite the track record – she’s defeated Galactus – through alternate means,
of course – and even Doctor Doom – twice, once with squirrels which made for one of
the best panels ever, and the second time by using her intellect rather than furry friends.
So she stands a chance at possibly breaking through to Thanos in an unconventional way
– I don’t think the squirrels will cut it this time around, but perhaps an appeal
of a different sort could do the trick.
Regardless, she’s an underrated yet overhyped hero, and we wouldn’t put it past her to
pull a move like ending Thanos’ galactic threat via a little bit of empathy and kindness.
And squirrel friends.
THEY’RE SO CUTE.
Also, SHE’S ACTUALLY DEFEATED HIM ONCE.
In Great Lakes Avengers holiday issue, GLX-Mas Special in 2005.
It happens off panel, and she defeats him armed only her squirrel pal Tippy-Toe.
There we have it friends!
Which absolutely preposterous superhero do you think could defeat Thanos by sheer luck?
Let us know your picks in those comments!