This episode is sponsored by the John Volken Academy,
the official addiction recovery solution
of Tuesdays with Troy.
(somber music)
Prostituting is having sex with men.
Yeah. Escorting is entertaining.
There's two different things.
My mom had me removed from the home
and chose him over me.
That kind of man is just a predator.
I don't know how I got this far in. (sobbing)
(dramatic music)
Hi I'm Lisa Junior, I'm 34 years old.
I have four children.
I was delayed in school
because I have a learning disability,
dyslexia as well as severe ADHD.
I also have severe PTSD from being molested
from the time I was three until I was six by my babysitter.
I was raped when I was 13 years old.
I remember going home the next day
and just sitting in a bathtub crying
because I couldn't understand
how everything in my life was so bad.
My mom got a boyfriend and he began to be inappropriate
with me and hit one day
and so the cops came and my mom picked him over me
and had me removed from the house
and had me placed in foster care.
I had a baby at 14 years old.
I was in eighth grade for God's sake.
I became very violent because nobody would respond to me.
I was my own worse nightmare.
By the time I was 18 I had two children
and I remember my caseworker saying
well if you can come up with a year's worth of rent
for an apartment, I'll let you out
and there's ways that you can do that.
And he introduced me to a person
and then this person had owned an escort service.
After that I just felt like
I was already too far in to even know how to walk away.
I was so focused on not being poor
and not having too suffer
or have my kids suffer or want for anything
that I overcompensated and it's 16 years later
and I don't know how to get out.
I don't know where to start
and I'm so scared.
So Troy I'm reaching out to you for your help.
I don't want everything I've been through to be for nothing.
Please help me.
(somber music)
Lisa's plea for help had a concerning level of desperation
that I felt needed to be addressed immediately.
So my team scheduled an appointment for me to meet with her
and as soon as Lisa and I sat down to talk
I wasted no time getting to the point.
Your babysitter was molesting you from three to six.
And that is an experience you remember firsthand?
Vividly, I think that was the,
like his eyes are forever burned into my brain.
Like, he had the greenest eyes.
You were raped at 13.
I was raped at 13 at a party.
Five months later I was pregnant
and I had the baby.
My first time having sex wasn't willing.
My first time having a child wasn't by choice.
All of these happy moments
in everybody's normal life were like,
I have to take care of a child.
It seems the parade of abusive men
just keep marching through Lisa's life.
My mom had a boyfriend and he hit me.
And I had my daughter in my hands
and I called the cops and they took him to jail.
When he got out my mom basically called DCFS
and had me removed from the home
and chose him over me.
As soon as she was placed
into the foster care system,
the man assigned as her case worker,
hearing she needed money introduced her to the dark
and dangerous world of escorting.
He says well, I know a way you can make some more money.
And then he introduced me to ...
And he had already owned an escort service
and at this time I'm young and impressionable
and I'm kind of in that somebody save me mode,
you know what I mean?
'Cause I couldn't save myself,
I couldn't read or write at 18, 17, 16 my whole life.
So you dropped out of school.
They never made me go.
You never went to school?
At 18, when I was in the eight grade
and I got pregnant, they wouldn't allow me to go to school.
It has been my experience
that people who live in denial are able to stay
in a state of denial longer
by relabeling the ugly things in their life
to make them more palatable.
In Lisa's case I think it's time she stops hiding
behind the label of escort.
Were you prostituting?
I wasn't prostituting at the time, what, no.
There's two different things,
prostituting is having sex with men,
escorting is entertaining.
There's two different things.
Every time I go on a call, I'm not sleeping with these men.
But sometimes right, I mean (mumbles).
Yes but if I am it's for a large quantity of money.
It's not for ...
But isn't that still prostitution?
So one of things that our society does often
that is unhealthy is we will relabel something
Yeah.
to make it feel more palatable.
That's what I've done.
And my job (laughs) is to help people see things
for the way they are Yes.
not for the way they're pretending they are.
Yes.
First of all, there's nothing wrong with the fact
that you've soften those stories over the years.
That's how, you know, we kick into self preservation mode
and we do tell ourselves things to get through the day.
We do it right?
There's a part of us that wants to be happy not sad.
Yeah.
So I want us to properly label the activity
but that labeling that activity does not label you
as a person and I want you to understand that.
I'm really ashamed of it.
Because it's like (sobbing) my children, you know,
like, I don't want them to know their mom is a prostitute.
But it's like how am I supposed to move on from this?
This next revelation may come
as a surprise to some
but Lisa speaks very highly of the many men
who have exploited and abused her.
Some might diagnose this as Stockholm syndrome.
I don't know I'm not a doctor.
But I do know this is another one of Lisa's false truths
that must end now if she's ever gonna escape from this life.
I can't be mad at the industry because it's ...
Why? It's ...
Why? Because I ...
Why can't you be mad at the industry?
Well, because I cannot be mad
because what I am today and everything I've learned today
has been from those men, those men, my experiences.
I hate referring to them as men, I you're right that's
another way ... He groomed me.
Yeah, well that's using the word man for somebody
who takes advantage of that situation is another way
where we put a label on there that makes it feel better,
that's not in my opinion, that's not a real man.
That kind of man is just a predator, right?
But that's all I've ever known.
Was predators Yeah.
Life has been filled with predators.
I raised myself,
these people played a key part in me learning
what credit was, me learning how to start a business,
me doing this, me, everything that I've done
has been self-learned from these people.
And so in the end it's like, I,
do I despise the industry, yeah
but did it feed me, it did.
So you're saying these men who exploited you,
They did.
they exploited your desperation,
They did.
exploited your body for their own personal satisfaction,
as they threw a stock tip your direction
or guided your business you feel like, I don't know.
You get comfortable with your abusers after so long.
But do you see them as abusers,
I do.
you've describe them just now and again not judging.
I know.
You've describe those men who exploited you
as your personal heroes.
Kind of, in a way.
Does that, do you hear that?
Do hear it and I do know how weird it sounds.
What I'm giving you an opportunity to do
is to purge all that.
If you're an emotional hoarder
that has held on to all the pain,
I am.
all the lies that others have told you
and you have told yourself, today's the day
that you get to purge that out
and start a nice, fresh line
you know, that's what I was, that's who I was,
this is what I am and who I am, right?
Because the people who struggle the longest in life
are the ones who take the longest
to turn around and look forward.
The people who recover faster are the ones
who take their eyes off of the past
and begin to build themselves a new future.
Suddenly, while we were talking,
there was a real breakthrough.
It may not seem like much to some
but for Lisa this moment was a turning point.
She caught herself starting to refer to her work again
as escorting but quickly changed it to prostitution.
And in that moment, some reality leaked in.
We bought the house and I was supposed to retire
but then everything happened and that didn't happen.
So when you say retire, you mean stop ...
Escort, stop prostituting.
Good job.
How did that feel just now?
Dirty. (sobbing)
Does it make it harder to keep doing it
when you have to label it that way?
Everyday getting up and going to work is hard for me.
As our conversation progressed,
it was quite clear to me
that anger was at the foundation of much of this.
I wondered if she was starting to realize this as well.
And then this happened.
I used to say I'm Lisa and I'm an anger addict.
Because that was the truth.
Would I be right in saying that you're anger
may be part of what powers your prostitution?
Exactly.
I'm getting back at every man who ever hurt me.
'Cause every single man in my life
that I've trusted has hurt me.
Not one that I can think of hasn't tried
to be inappropriate with me.
So it's hard for me to think that
did God just, am I just here to be a whore?
You know, I feel like if I'd never would have been
shown the adult industry, (mumbles) and had dyslexia
and had these issues that I never would have been forced
to continue to think it was okay.
It's hard 'cause I don't wanna do it.
I feel bad every time I do do it.
At one point, Lisa begin telling me she wants
to help rescue girls from human trafficking.
And while I love where her heart is,
I wondered if she was aware of how ironic
that idea was under the circumstances.
You can't be prostituting I know.
on one day and then helping traffic ...
No, not at all, it makes no sense,
it's an oxymoron, it ...
So if you are really wanting to dedicate your life
to rescuing women and children and girls
from human trafficking, I have to quit.
you have to stop trafficking yourself.
Do you understand?
You're trafficking yourself.
I am, I'm exploiting myself.
You are a victim of your own human trafficking.
I am convinced Lisa absolutely wants out of this dark world
she has fallen into.
I'm also convinced it's gonna take a team of people
to help her make the transition successfully.
But that is something I think I can make happen.
So here's what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna build a support team around you.
That would be amazing.
I'm gonna help line up some resources for you
for some serious counseling.
Yeah.
Because while I feel like you're seriously good
at making people around you believe
you've got it all together, I don't think you're well.
I'm not, I can't tell you how many times during the day,
I'm just crying out of nowhere
just because I am just so unhappy with my life.
My mind was spinning through the many people I know
and trust searching all of my personal contacts
for just the right life mentor for Lisa.
And then it came to me, one of my dearest friends
in the world, Mary.
She is an extraordinarily successful woman
who also had to fight her way
through her own life adversities to survive.
Different challenges than Lisa but fight none the less.
I decided to call Mary on the spot.
Having no idea if I'd reach her
and if I did, I might be putting her
in a really awkward position.
But I know she is exactly what Lisa needs right now,
like right this second.
You know, my heart just aches a little bit
but I wanna tell you first of all that
it's the first gift that will be yours
And probably always is and that is the gift of compassion
because when you have walked such a horrific path,
you develop that kind of compassion for other people
that if you can't develop any other way.
So tell me if you had one wish today,
what would that wish look like?
To not ever have to prostitute again.
'Cause that's why I reached out to him
because I just, I've never had a support group
of positive people.
You are not alone, every woman I know
has walked the path of fear of not being enough.
Every one of us including me.
So you do know the steps huh?
I do.
Okay are you ready to make one of them today?
I am, I am.
Which one?
To take my websites down and everything.
Okay, that's a big step huh?
It is.
I know, I know, honey.
(sobbing)
I don't know how I got this far in.
Yeah.
I wish you the best sweetheart, I do.
Thank you Mary I hope I hope we have another
I hope to meet you soon. opportunity for our path
to cross so I can hear about what's going on in your life.
I do.
Well, I welcome that opportunity.
And thank you so much.
Lisa and Mary are on their way
to becoming fast friends and true to her word,
Lisa has canceled her escort ads
and taken down her website.
As for the income she needed to replace quickly,
Lisa has started a business and it's really cool.
Well, I personally felt like that was really inspiring.
I'm really proud of Lisa for the courage
that she displayed in being so open and candid with me.
And I hope that her friends and family
in the community where she lives
do not judge her for the things that she shared
and where she's been but will instead celebrate
where she's going.
I've wrapped her in a team of people
that I believe can help her reach her true potential
but she still has to be the one to do the work.
And I'm confident, if she chooses to, she absolutely can.
This work wouldn't even be possible
without our good friends over at the John Volken Academy,
the official addiction recovery program
of Tuesdays with Troy.
And a personal debt of gratitude to my dear friend
and mentor, Dr. Phil, thank you
for supporting my life's work.
I appreciate you very much.
If there's something you think me or my team can do
to help you or your family, tell me about it, ask me.
Reach out to us at troythelocator.com
or direct message me on Facebook or Instagram.
Until then, I'll see you next Tuesday.
(upbeat music)