I always thought it was ridiculous for a book to constantly reference spilling seeds
but that night we spilled so many seeds
that Brandon had to take out the trash full of it the next morning.
[Intro music]
[Music: Forbidden Love by Ote]
I am finally going through all the videos I've filmed over the past year
and finally editing these vlogs together.
And one of the first things that I filmed
was actually a trip that I took with my friends.
And as you can tell from the title,
I've decided that during this trip, it would be themed around one specific book
and that is A Court of Silver Flames.
Just when you thought there's no way I could squeeze any more content
from Sarah J. Maas' teat, I have found a way to do so.
But what is the required ingredients every time we engage in A Court of Silver Flames
or any of Sarah J. Maas' books?
I got the answer for you.
That is wine.
And that's all thanks to Bright Cellars for sponsoring this video.
I actually know nothing about wine.
But the good thing about Bright Cellars is that they have a quiz for you
to actually get matched with the right wine bottles for you.
And they do have hundreds of private label wines that they work with.
So it's really nice that they had that quiz.
It was super easy.
It was only seven questions.
Each box is completely unique to your taste palate.
So when I got my box,
it was kind of cool knowing that no one else has the same exact box as I do.
Also because I'm such a noob,
I actually really liked the wine education cards that they include.
It tells you stuff about tasting notes and suggested pairings,
best serving temperature and origin.
It's just really useful information.
It's also a lot more sustainable than going to the grocery store
and getting wine from there
because they have sustainable varieties and biodynamic wine.
The packaging is also completely recyclable plastic free.
They are giving any of my followers 50% off their first six bottle box.
So support my channel by following the link in the description.
Take the quiz and find out what wines are perfect for you.
Let's go ahead and start the vlog.
[Music: Run The Race - instrumental by Martin Hall]
So you're probably wondering,
how is any of this can be related to A Court of Silver Flames?
Well, the premise for the book is actually pretty similar to the premise of this trip.
In case you haven't heard the full hour long rant video I made about the book,
this is a spin-off series based on the other series
about faeries with magic and big dicks.
Except this time it stars Nesta
who is the bitchy sister of the original main character.
She's kind of a hot mess.
So the other faeries do an intervention and they sent her to the House of Wind
to train to be a stronger and more disciplined faerie.
To translate this to real life,
what better way to represent training a bitch than to actually train a bitch?
We brought my friend's female dog,
who as you can tell from the footage, definitely needed some training.
Just like Nesta, she's impulsive,
doesn't listen to other people telling her what to do,
and would probably humped Cassian if we didn't neuter her.
What would happen if a car came in your way?
- It's one way.
- I think it's a one... - More like "one gay."
Got 'em. [Laughter]
[Music: Orange by Siny]
The House of Wind is a place on top of the mountains
where Nesta is staying to train.
To follow the theme, we also decided to sequester ourselves into the wilderness
by taking a trip to Guerneville.
A California town historically known for its logging community.
It's also built adjacent to the Russian River
which is fitting considering the series most annoying couple,
Feyre and Rhysand,
just finished building their river front house.
Leaving the House of Wind open for Nesta and their friends to live in.
The demographic of the town is also predominantly white.
Just like Sarah J. Maas' characters.
We rented a cabin outside of downtown Greenville
so we could be surrounded by nature as well.
There is a deck that overlooks the creek and the patio area even backs up to a hill.
The area is pretty well landscaped,
featuring a woodburning outdoor fireplace and a private hot tub
which will be relevant later.
There's also a private tea house,
which is perfect for couples who may want to get intimate
with their big faerie dicks.
Again, this will be relevant later.
There's even a sign that says "clothing optional at this point"
which is basically the tagline for this entire series.
Getting in and out of the cabin also involves walking a lot of stairs
which is a unique feature to the House of Winds
since it has literally 10,000 steps that Nesta attempts to climb to get out of the house,
but fails because she definitely needs cardio work
if she thinks she's ready for that long ass staircase.
I was barely able to make it out alive with these steps alone
because my ass was also out of shape.
The point is I think we did a pretty good job of finding our own House of Wind.
And in the mornings I made sure to train and exercise with my own Nesta
like the Stepford stupid bitch she is.
[Music: Equalx by Gregory David]
My friends and I quickly got situated in our own House of Wind.
We ignored each other for the rest of the night.
And just like the book, no meaningful dialogue was exchanged.
[Music: Equalx by Gregory David]
Here are some other things I did to follow the book.
An easy one is dressing up like Feyre
who seems to always wear chunky sweaters and leggings
like she's a pilates instructor going on a Starbucks run.
Another easy thing to do is to practice feminism,
which is a concept that was originally invented by Rhysand
when he gave women choices.
There was a Christmas novella a while back where the faeries
talking about how men should cook too.
And Cassian, the main male character,
has followed through with it in this book when he prepares food for Nesta.
So during this trip,
I made sure it was the men who would be making sandwiches in the kitchen for me
because feminism.
There's lots of sexual attention between Cassian and Nesta
even when they're doing very normal things.
So I channeled a lot of sexual energy
when Brandon squeeze that juicy mayonnaise onto my bread
and spread that thick over my crust.
Cassian also gives advice to Nesta about how to eat healthy
because apparently he is a dietitian now.
So he tells her to eat things like lean meats and whole grains
and fruits and vegetables and other things
that an adult in her 20s should already know but somehow Nesta did not.
We made sure to follow up Cassian's healthy diet when we went grocery shopping.
We even spotted an ugly blonde man at the store named Tamlin.
And just like the rest of the book, we didn't care enough to see him again.
[Music: Where We Wanna Go by Ote]
Later that afternoon, we went out to the park to continue training our Nesta.
Let's see how our Nesta is doing now.
- So cute.
Turns out, just like the book, she's still a massive bitch.
In terms of food, the House of Wind magically conjures up food for the characters
and it doesn't really explain why.
So to follow along with a theme,
we ordered dinner from a restaurant that sold sushi and hamburgers.
It's a combination that doesn't make sense,
which is what I often say about the words strung together in this book.
The health does get Nesta chocolate cake a couple of times though
which is perfect because I love cake
and now I can say I did buy cake for business purposes with his blog.
We'd love a tax deduction.
The house also draws her a hot bath
which is where the hot tub and our Airbnb it finally comes in.
I don't have the greatest footage here because it was nighttime,
there was a lot of steam,
and I also realized I probably shouldn't use my friends bodies for content,
so instead you can just look at my legs.
You're welcome perverts.
[Music: Another Go Round by The Eastern Plain]
On Sunday, we decided Nesta's training needed to level up a little.
Cassian challenges Nesta to find her balance, stretching, and doing breath work.
Since there's no Lululemon pilates classes in Guerneville,
we visited Shell Beach at Sonoma County instead.
The real challenge would be focusing on following her path
and balancing over the rocks at the beach.
[Music: Another Go Round by The Eastern Plain]
As you can tell from the montage,
our little bitch actually did a really good job at the beach.
She was calm, she was collected,
and she had no trouble crossing through all the rocks and keeping balance.
She has really come a long way with her training
and it was sweet to see her reward herself with licking her bowl of water.
Just like how Nesta also rewarded herself by licking Cassian d--
After the beach, we perused through some of the shops nearby
since visiting the shops in the village was something Nesta often did
in-between training.
[Music: Another Go Round by The Eastern Plain]
At the end of the weekend fast approached,
I knew I had to address the elephant in the room.
And no, the elephant is not Rhysand's schlong for once.
It's a fact that in this book,
there was a threesome scene that Sarah J. Maas had to cut.
We got an inkling of it in the published final copy
where Nasta fantasizes having a threesome with Cassian and Azriel,
the two men that she's living with in the house.
When I read this part,
I knew I had to approach this very carefully and subtly with my friends
in order to make this happen.
- This was such a nice weekend.
You know what would make it a nicer weekend?
- If we fucked?
If you met me at the tea house later tonight.
I am a little high right now as you can obviously tell by my attire,
but this is going to be the perfect setup for the ultimate plan
and the ultimate climax of this video.
Not that kind of climax you pervert. Or is it?
I have the tea house all ready with mood lighting
and everything and now it's time to set up the scenario.
[Music: My/Your Place by King Sis]
And so as you can see, I lured my two best friends into this tea house
where under the moonlit sky we would get laid
the way Sarah J. Maas would have intended and her original artistic vision.
I lured them into my bed and told them that plan.
That we needed to do this for the vlog.
We needed to honor the truth theme of this faerie dick saga.
Two men, two holes in my body, and too little time to spare.
I always thought it was ridiculous for a book to constantly reference spilling seeds
but that night we spilled so many seeds
that Brandon had to take out the trash full of it the next morning.
We haven't spoken a word to each other since.
The entire car ride back was filled with silence.
Only the drone of the radio
that could not drown out the sins we committed for Sarah J. Maas.
YouTubers always say, "Do it for the vlog."
But we never questioned if we really should or what we would sacrifice afterward.
Even our own dog would not look at me probably smelling the arousal spores
that Sarah J. Maas often mentioned throughout the book.
So many mixed emotions, so many incomplete plots.
They were too difficult to answer with reason.
All I know is that the weekend had changed all of our lives.
The only question I can ask now is, was it worth it for me to do this?
And for you to have watched all the way to the end of this stupid vlog?
I guess we'll never know.
[Music: Coming Home instrumental by Gamma Skies]