For more in the story,
we're joined by our new senior Caucasian correspondent,
-Jordan Klepper. -[crowd laughing]
Jordan, thank you for joining us on the program.
We appreciate you Jordan.
-[crowd clapping] -Jordan...
Welcome to the show.
First of all, we're excited to have you.
You are in Crimea.
Obviously you have studied this region for years.
[crowd laughing]
Yes. That is 100% true.
Okay, As you know the Crimean Peninsula
is ethnically Russian.
Now, it's important to remember a peninsula is a land mass
surrounded on three sides by water
unlike an island or an isthmus.
Now, the Crimean Peninsula is dependent on Russia
for most of their natural resources.
Actually, they're dependent on the Ukraine
for most of their natural resources.
Right Right. Stupid
Stupid. I'm sorry.
I don't know why I said that.
I'm not gonna fail you, dad, John.
[crowd laughing]
It's all right, Jordan. It's all right. It's fine.
-Okay. -Just relax.
How are the people feeling?
They're scared John, real scared.
Little sweaty
[crowd laughing]
Because they have ties to both the Ukraine and Russia?
-Is that- -Sure.
[crowd laughing]
I mean, if you would've asked them a week ago,
"Would you like to be a part of Russia?"
They would've been like, "Yes, Russia's my favorite.
I'd love to join Russia, I watch Russia every night."
[crowd laughing]
But now they don't know what they've gotten themselves into
and they think, "Maybe I've gotten a little bit
in over my head."
What'd you say? It's fine.
-You're doing fine. -Thanks.
Stay focused. What have you learned so far today?
Well, you have to dial nine to get an outside line.
[crowd laughing]
Lunch is at one, and if I keep my head down here
for a couple years, I've got a real shot
at my own sitcom on "NBC."
-[crowd laughing] -[crowd cheering]
Were you? You were talking about Crimea?
-Yeah. Yeah. -Right? I'm blowing it!
No, you're not blowing it! Everything's fine.
-You're in Crimea- -Yes.
Now obviously it's daybreak there.
Oh, actually, I'm gonna stop you there, John.
It's 6:15 at night, although obviously we are pretending
it's 11:15, which in Crimea is 6:15 in the morning
where I'm supposed to be.
Dad, I am so sorry.
-No- -I'm so sorry.
You're not, you're doing great.
Okay.
There's almost nothing you can do
to mess up one of these reports.
[crowd laughing]
Trust me.
[sighs] Thank you.
-That's oh... -[crowd cheering]
I mean...
-[crowd laughing] -[crowd cheering]
This is kind of a big deal for me, John.
[laughing] You know, this means a lot to me.
And my parents are watching at home.
"Stay clean and sober, Jordan,
and that record will get expunged.
Just keep to it. Work hard."
[crowd laughing]
You think you could go back to Crimea or is that a...
-[crowd laughing] -That's... Yes.
You got it boss.
You right again, yes sir.
[sighs] Live from Crimea.
[crowd laughing]
Everybody, we'll be right back.
-Jordan, [indistinct]. -[crowd cheering]
I remember my first night on the show. It was wild.
I auditioned on a, I think a Friday and they told me
come back four days later with a suit
'cause they had no money to pay for the suits.
And luckily I had one suit
because I had gotten married a few months earlier
and I came back with a suit and the day was bonkers.
I arrived and oddly enough
it was the day Crimea was invaded.
And I know...
We actually know where that place is now
[crowd laughing]
because I didn't that morning.
And I showed up and I went to this morning meeting
which is an amazing thing at the "Daily Show."
So many funny, thoughtful people in a room.
And I get thrown in there in such a welcoming place.
And there's John Stewart
someone I've watched since I was very little.
He's very old and decrepit,
[crowd laughing]
also very short small man, wise beyond his years.
But many years.
[crowd laughing]
We were talking about Crimea and all of these things.
And they're like, "Jordan, you're gonna do a chat
you're gonna do that tonight.
We're gonna talk about this, let's go."
And you brainstorm some ideas for the chat.
And I remember they bring me into John's office
like right after the meeting.
And I'm very nervous.
I don't know how this day works.
And we sit down and John starts talking
about not only what happened, but essentially
he's talking about the commentary that's been written
in the morning about what already happened in that room.
And I'm sitting across from him with a few other people.
Jen Flanz is over there right now.
EP showrunner, she's in that room as well.
-[crowd cheering] -She's the best.
And there's a reason these shows can still run like they do
with a different host every week.
And it's because of the team that we have
here at the "Daily Show."
And I remember John's, he's talking about all these things
with Crimea and I just keep thinking,
"I don't [beep] know where Crimea is, I don't know."
And then we usher off and we we brainstorm jokes and bits
around the Crimea invasion.
And it's fun. It's a wild day.
The chat comes up and you go into a rewrite
right before you come on out there.
And you go one last time over it.
And the process for a chat,
essentially the idea of this chat was
John is throwing to their first time correspondent
who's in Crimea and he is overwhelmed by the experience.
[crowd laughing]
Truth and comedy. It's always the best way to go.
And I remember in the rewrite, you're in this small room
and you're throwing jokes out there
and John opened up of like, "How would you react here?"
And I said, "I'd say like,
'I don't wanna disappoint you, dad.'"
[crowd laughing]
And it made him laugh because that's how I was feeling
in the [beep] room in that moment.
"I don't wanna disappoint you dad."
And he was like, "That's good."
I'm like, "That was the first joke I got on this show."
And he was like, "All right, we ready to do this."
And you don't waste time at the "Daily Show"
when you like print the script,
it's like, "Great, we're on in 20 minutes."
And so he comes out, I go back, my brain is spinning.
I've been doing comedy and entertainment for 15 years
but never had to break anywhere near this.
Been living in poverty up until this point.
And I'm like, "Holy shit, I'm on the "Daily Show."
I'm about to be on the "Daily Show."
I'm looking through the script, looking through the script."
John comes out, I'm right back there
and I'm looking through the script,
looking through the script.
He says like, "We have something special happening today.
We have a new correspondent. We don't have that very often."
I'm getting nervous. And "Born To Run" starts to play.
Which was the song he always played before he came out.
And then he is like, "You guys ready for a good show?"
They say, "Yes." He says, "Welcome to the 'Daily Show.'"
And he runs back and we just had
this little one-on-one moment.
He just says, "Don't fuck it up."
[crowd laughing]
And I remember like, he came back out there
and right back there like tears
because it was so much, "This industry, it's hard.
It's tough and you're rarely
in such supportive rooms like this.
And for every break that you get,
10 other people don't get it who are worthy
of that exact same break."
And in that moment I was like
there's so much emotion right now in this space.
And I remember like tears, "I'm like you can't cry.
You're on TV in three minutes."
Pulling it all together, coming on out
and nervously doing my first chat from right over there.
So to get a chance to be here on a day like today
with you guys and share that, it's real special.
-Thank you. -[crowd cheering]
♪ Hey hey hey hey hey ♪
[upbeat music]