-Whoo! Let's go! How you guys doing tonight?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, my God. This has been a year of firsts for me.
I moved in with my boyfriend last year,
which I didn't think would happen
'cause I don't like to hear men speak.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Yeah. I'm hetero, but trust -- it's against my will.
Um...
Religious fanatics say it's a choice.
I wish it was.
I would choose women right now.
Yeah, who doesn't want to double their wardrobe?
Are you kidding me?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, me and my guy got together March 1st of 2020.
Yeah. Do that math.
We went from single and ready to mingle...
to married and ready to murder.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, three months in, he looked me in my eyes and he was like,
"Joyelle, I love you."
And I looked him back, and I said,
"we need a couples therapist, stat!"
I eventually said, "I love you," but priorities, you know?
And people were judging me.
They were like, "You just got together.
Why you need a couples therapist?"
I was like, "Oh, just one little reason.
It's a tiny reason.
Uh, we in an interracial relationship
during a pandemic race war. That's all. You know."
Just the little things.
And I tell everybody, get you a couples therapist.
Okay? It's like hiring a parent for your relationship.
[ Laughter ]
We get into arguments. I'm like, "You know what?
We don't even have to talk about this right now
because I'm telling on Friday!
[ Laughter and applause ]
At 6:00 p.m."
[ Laughter ]
And I wanted somebody, you know, that could relate to both of us.
My boyfriend's half-white, half-Asian.
I'm Black.
So I found somebody that's half-white, half-Black
so he could relate to both of us racially, you know?
And a man, so he could relate to him
never feeling a need to clean the stove.
[ Laughter ]
An I have A.D.D., so for, like, the first two sessions,
I wasn't even concentrating 'cause I was just trying
to figure out which one of his parents was the Black one.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah.
I'm happy to report I got down to the bottom of it
because any time one of us said something sad,
he'll just be like, "Mnh-mnh-mnh!"
[ Laughter ]
Survey says...Black mama! That's what that says.
[ Laughter and applause ]
We love him so much.
He recently had his first baby, which is great
if it's anybody except your couples therapist.
'Cause homie had the nerve to take three weeks off.
What?!
It's like, "What about the rest of your kids? Okay?
Don't nobody care about this new baby.
You're just going to leave us unattended in this apartment
with all types of cleaning products, sharp objects,
and daddy issues lying around all over the place?!
You are so selfish."
And I never thought I'd ever be able
to live with another human being.
So I was like, "I need practice," you know?
So I got a male roommate, like, 2019.
'Cause I was like, "I gotta practice."
I was working on my nagging and my passive aggression.
[ Laughter ]
Yes. You know.
So I got a 23-year-old male roommate.
So, basically, I was house-breaking a puppy.
I rescued him right on time.
Um, it was like -- I was trying not to yell at a grown man
paying rent, but it was like I was talking to a dog.
I'm yelling at him like, "Get down off the couch like that!
Down, boy!
Take that chocolate out of your mouth!
Did you pee on the floor?!"
He did.
The toilet was right there.
When he peed on the floor, I rolled up a newspaper,
and I smacked him on the nose with it.
But he's 23. It just confused him.
He doesn't know what a newspaper is.
[ Laughter ]
And he was always happy to see me.
That annoyed me the most.
[ Laughter ]
I would come home just, you know, mad from the day.
He'd just be bright-eyed, wagging his bushy little tail,
shoving his phone in my face. Like, "You wanna see this meme?"
[ Laughter ]
No.
I got blue toilet water, boy. I'm grown!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I don't want to see a meme.
I want to see you stop drinking shower beers.
I want to see you buy two-ply toilet paper
'cause you live with a lady.
And I want to see you take your shirt off 'cause he was hot.
That's the only reason I let him stay!
Oh, my God! The Roots! A moment in Black history.
Thank you. My name is Joyelle.