After 600 fertility TV episodes since 2014, I cannot believe that this is the first time I'm
going to be talking about this. I apologize to all the single moms out there trying to get pregnant;
this video is for you. The fact is that I have helped many single moms get pregnant during
the 20 years that I've been a fertility expert. I understand how difficult it is,
not only physically preparing your body and hormones but also the emotional ups and downs
that you could be going through by choosing to become a mom, not in the most traditional way. I
have a lot of respect and admiration for those of you who choose to have children as a single mom.
So, if you're ready to be a mom and want to do it on your own,
here are the five tips to have a smooth fertility journey. And if you want my guidance,
you are welcome to apply to qualify for the Hope program as well—with or without a partner,
even if you're just considering it and want to prepare your body for when you are ready. There's
a lot that can be done, and we would love to help you with your fertility journey, so you can
use the link in the description below to apply. So you're single, you want to get pregnant, you
want to have a child, you want to have a family, and you don't know where to start potentially.
Well, these five tips are going to help you kind of organize how this should be done and
the steps that you need to take to make sure you have as successful of an IVF cycle as possible.
Step number one: address any health issues that you have right now and give yourself some time
to do this. So I know from working with couples for 20 years that everybody has health issues.
We all do. The objective right now is for you to be proactive now so that this is not something
that hinders your ability to get pregnant in the future. So I want you to take some time,
take inventory of your overall health, go through every system—how do you feel? Could it be better?
Could you be doing something more? That is what you need to be doing in this time, and you need
to give yourself some time to not only assess those areas but to make the proper changes and
allow those changes to take hold and impact your overall health positively. So all that takes a
little bit of time. So I don't want you to just rush in to moving forward with an IVF cycle, and I
have a great story to share as it relates to this. So I have a woman that I've been working with for
some time. She is 39 right now, now I think just about to be 40 or just turned 40, and
she knew that she always wanted to have children but she hadn't found the right partner. And when
we started working together, she says, "I just want to make sure that when the time is right,
whether I find a partner or I decide to do this alone, that everything is ready to go,
that everything's in order, that my body's healthy, that my hormones are healthy and
ready to become pregnant." Well, she put in the time in advance because she wasn't sure how it
was going to work with a partner without, and it turns out that she's had to move forward without
a partner. And when we tested her hormones before she moved forward with IVF, her hormones were the
equivalent as if she was 30 years old. They looked amazing. Her anthropological count,
how many eggs she had ready to be used on that given cycle, was super high because she took
care of herself. She addressed the areas that needed to be addressed, and she was proactive,
and she gave herself some time. I want the same thing for all of you, and I want to encourage
you to be as proactive as she is or was to get the same results that she was able to achieve. So find
out what's going on, address those health issues now, and give yourself some time to see change.
Number two: how are you going to get the sperm that you need? This might seem like
a simple question, but it's really not. Do you have a friend that you feel comfortable with,
that you trust, that you know, depending on what you want from that friend, is willing to be there
for that or not? I've seen all different scenarios over the years. Do you have someone who's willing
to donate their sperm and that you want their sperm? That's number one. If not, are you going
to use donor sperm, and where are you going to get that from? It's not as simple as it might seem,
and it does take some time. If you're going to get it from a friend, I suggest having some legal
documents drawn up, however those need to be for you, so that everyone knows what their roles are,
and it's very clear and straightforward. If you're going to use a Frozen and donated sperm,
well then where you can get it from and how long is it going to take for you to
get right? These are all important details that need to be assessed and determined. Additionally,
if you are going to have it donated by a friend, are you going to have that Frozen or fresh? Right,
I prefer fresh, and my recommendation if you are going to have that donated by a
friend is that you have him do a semen analysis before you guys come to any agreement because we
don't know what the quality of the sperm are going to be, right? So if they're not good,
we don't want them; you need to find somebody else that's all taken care of. If you get donated
sperm that's already Frozen, they've already done all of those things. So determining where you're
going to get the sperm and dealing with those logistics is essential for being successful
on your fertility journey as a single mom. Number three might sound silly or simple,
but ask for help and support. Line up who's going to be there for you when you need them. This is
not a simple process; it's not a quick process, and there might be a lot of hoops to jump through,
and you're going to need help in various ways. Maybe you just need someone to talk to and
lean on. Maybe you need someone to drive you to appointments. Maybe you need someone to give you
some progesterone injections if the time comes. You're going to need help. Who's going to be there
for you? You should at least have one, if not two people, who you can rely on, that you can trust,
and they're going to be there for you in these circumstances. This is essential and something
that I really encourage you to figure out now. That can be a friend, that can be a family member,
whoever it is, you need to find help and support, and I would actually extend that beyond the
fertility process. You're going to be a single mom; raising children takes a lot of effort,
as others have said. It takes a village, right, or a big family. Well, you need to find who's
going to be there to support you not only now to help you get pregnant but once you are pregnant,
deliver, and have children. You're going to need help at every stage of that process. Who is going
to be there for you? I have one woman I've helped with two children, and she knew she needed help,
so she asked her parents to move in with her. They actually bought a house together that was
big enough for all their needs, and they drove her to all her appointments. They are there to
help raise her children with her. She knew she needed that, and she went out and got that, and I
encourage all of you to do something similar. Number four: where are you going to get the
finances from? IVF is not an inexpensive process, unfortunately. It takes a lot
of energy and resources, and you need to start saving now or have already started
to save so that you can be in a good financially stable place to go through that process and be
financially stable afterward. Raising children is expensive, so we want to make sure that you
have the support you need both emotionally and physically and financially. So that is
absolutely something that you need to consider in this bigger process of being a single mom.
And then number five: when is the right time to do IVF? We know that for the most part,
that's probably going to be the avenue that you have to take. Yes, you can do IUI, but in some
situations, success rates are relatively low. So if you're going to be spending all this time and
money and resources, then IVF is probably your best option. So when is the right time? Well,
the right time is when you've addressed all the underlying issues; your health is stable,
your hormones are regulated, you've gotten the support that you need, you are financially ready,
you are emotionally ready. That is the right time to move forward with IVF. It doesn't mean
that you don't start looking for an IVF clinic or doctor now; I encourage you to do that now,
but you might not move forward immediately. So that is how you need to approach this process,
right? We need to go through these five steps in whatever order you feel is best for you so
that you can end up at the place where you need to be, which is pregnant with a child.
That's what the goal is in this process, and I hope that these five steps gave you
encouragement and hope that you can be successful with this. But now I want to hear from all of you,
which of these steps did you think was the most important? Which one of these steps do
you already have taken care of, and which ones do you need to focus on? And what fertility
questions do you have? I want to hear all of that; comment below and let me know so that I
can get back to you and answer you and support you more on your fertility journey. As I said,
if you are really serious about getting pregnant, head to marks.com Discovery call. I'll drop that
link in the description below to speak to a real human on my team so we can identify if
having me as your fertility coach is the right next step for you. Now make sure you check out
these hope stories so you can believe what is going to happen to you and that it is
possible. Check out these beautiful stories that I share, and until the next video, stay fertile.