hey I'm Donick Cary I've worked at the Letterman show as an intern in 1989 writer's assistant
writer head writer from 91 through 96. I grew up watching the show I loved it it felt like
oh my God there's a world Beyond this small high school that I'm growing up in the name
of the store is just and that's exactly what we sell just bulbs okay so besides bulbs what
do you have here nothing how about Shades could you get Shades here no we are just bulbs
if you want Shades maybe going plays called just Shades we sell nothing but Lounge at
discount prices what uh what is the name of the store just Shades and uh what what can
you get in here why can you get in here all these Shades that's by voice that's why our
name is just Shades but seriously what what can you get besides Shades here when you're
an intern at Letterman and it's the best of times it's the worst of times so you were
having all this incredible experiences but you also made zero dollars every once in a
while you get this call of like Hey we're gonna cast you in something we need you to
say a couple lines and you'll be like jackpot 600 for some reason they give you the um license
to create your own name and where you're from and I was like pujit sound is probably the
funniest yet not too funny place I can kind of like show that I get it when he said where
are you from I said Puget Sound but I couldn't quite say it because I had never said it out
loud before what is your name uh don Montfort Don where are you from I'm from Londonderry
New Hampshire uh-huh what do you do for a living there I'm a student I see where do
you go to school I had a pujin sound
what are you studying I'm studying French well I've been doing a lot of reading about
how NBC is doing a lot of cost cutting right and I I was wondering if these economy measures
were affecting your show well that's an excellent question Don was it done uh no a couple of
years ago uh General Electric took over NBC and all of its broadcasting properties and
they started making cutbacks left and right but fortunately I must say we've been very
lucky here it hasn't actually affected us too badly uh excellent
[Applause] all right hang on a second this will just take a second no we've been very
lucky and they're actually not bad to work with of course there have been uh kind of
day-to-day little things that there that Better Health yeah that's better the first thing
I really worked on with Dave was mashing potatoes into his hair luckily he thought it was funny
so he was up for it because it was pretty messy here Dave what's the wackiest thing
you've ever done with mashed potatoes uh uh actually I made a pretty cool Discovery this
afternoon with mashed potatoes I was having lunch and I'm looking down with the there
oh
[Applause] hi there do you have a paycheck for me hi Mr Donahue here's your check hey
thank you very much I'm going to use this to pay off Marlo's credit cards have a great
weekend I hit on this thing of like whoever the guests are over at SNL this week maybe
I'll write a bit for them Mick Jagger had just put out something called wandering spirit
I wrote this thing called Biff Henderson's House of Rock and rap the head writer at the
time Robert that was like great take this over to SNL and Mick will see you and and
you can pitch it to him and see if he wants to do it I was like what I went over with
my little script and uh waited outside of Mick Jagger's room there were two giant bodyguards
and they were like Maple see now they open the door and it's just Mick in a room sitting
by himself and he's like what's up mate you know and I was like well okay so um you know
the Letterman show like I had to explain the whole thing and I read the little bit and
he was very quiet and then he was like I love it hello rockers and rappers this week Defenders
is knocked down bad mother Surefire hit coming to the stores February 9th is Atlantic Records
wandering pirate
[Applause] it's the wandering spirit and he's got it upside down oh yeah sorry Mick I'm
just too damn [ __ ] for my own good no problem see you later really
one of the bits I love more than anything watching the show was Dave's record collection
you know this this idea of found comedy I was trying to think of what's the next record
collection could I come up with a segment like this I went out and found a few vhs's
at the time that were pretty funny and then it was like great we're gonna do Dave's Video
Collection it was like an early version of the most amazing afternoon you might have
on YouTube this video is called perfect English pronunciation here we go not not that's not
date nut bread
[Applause] pin head that guy is a pinhead this is Shirley maclaine's inner workout here
Shirley describes the body's chakra system Shirley McLean from this Energy Center we
prepare ourselves for the physical process of learning the color of this chakra as you
can see is red and it resonates to the note C
the password is insane
[Applause] one day the one of the new interns popped into my office and he has sort of a
big rosy red face and I was like I kind of looks like a pea he's like a little round
guy wait a minute late night P boy that could be something you know who's here oh my God
ladies and gentlemen I almost forgot say hello to the Late Night P boy where is he [Applause]
[Music]
thank you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
so we did p-boy probably four or five times at NBC and then we moved to CBS we were like
well this is one of the greatest things we've ever done at least that's my memory uh we
have to do p-boy again so this kid's not an intern anymore that was like two years ago
so they had to track down Dave elner who was now you know a human living in the world and
go hey we still got the PC can you show up at whatever he's like okay we did a piece
where uh Marvin Hamlisch wrote a p-boy song a year ago you you asked me to write a song
for a special friend who ran onto your show and stole the hearts of people everywhere
his name P boy and this is his song give me an a give me a b give me a [Music] Market
everyone Waits so don't hesitate we love it when you aim right in our head son think you
look funny [Music]
[Music]
I rode a cold open for Al Gore when he was on and it was right in the heat of Al Gore
being called out on all media outlets for being very stiff the way to get it approved
was me going to Al Gore and reading a bunch of stiff jokes to his face and going so it'll
be jokes like this you're as stiff as a tree you're as stiff as of whatever that was weird
but it all worked out we saved the planet he became president everything's great how
about this one I'm so stiff I went for a checkup and the doctors declared me legally dead no
okay listen to this one I'm so stiff I went hiking in the woods and I almost got chopped
down by a logger no you know you know what I think I think they were just sick of this
I'm so stiff kind of deal now here's a joke that I liked I heard it the other day what
are the favorite words of President Clinton what what are his favorite words what does
he love to hear most all the time uh would you like fries with that because that's that's
the president of the United States you're talking about Pinhead home I thought it's
worth mentioning like one of my favorite moments in in Show Business you know and I I've been
doing this down almost 100 years the night before we went on so so um at CBS mostly we
were set we had six weeks to get ready for this one and then at the last minute it was
like Paul Newman's in the audience he's gonna stand up and say something what's he gonna
say and I just I blurted out to um where the hell are the singing cats that random thing
that I kind of threw out that then Paul said was like put in the paper the next day and
I was like holy [ __ ] like what we're doing on this like little talk show it goes right
in the paper
yeah where the hell are the singing cats
this is not cats this is my my TV show
I'm in the wrong theater
thank you one of the biggest challenges of writing there was finding a new premise that
that was refillable one day I came up with the idea that Dave just in the middle of the
show is like well good night everybody and he leaves and then Paul plays the outro music
and realizes the show's only half over and then has to go find Dave the line that came
up and I don't think I pitched the line I think maybe Rob did Paul running through like
subway stops and chasing Dave down and he just shouts out of my way I'm a celebrity
I love that as like this this pass you get if you're a celebrity that like people kind
of go like oh okay yeah watch out it's a celebrity that was kind of inspired by this small Scandal
we had some scammer realized if I run into these stores and go like I'm from the Letterman
show Dave needs it now I need all these towels or whatever they could just like take a bunch
of stuff Harrison
give me your car I'm a celebrity
I'm a celebrity
[Music] I'm a celebrity [Music] [Applause] okay okay
Paul well I told you never to bother me when I'm relaxing with the Penguins the show's
not over yet oh my God I'm gonna have to start wearing a watch or something all right all
right save me some Herring I'll be right back so doing what we call remote pieces you know
were these like little short films that we got to make the one that was probably the
most fun because it was so awkward we had tracked down five or six professional Dave
Letterman look-alikes him sitting with five guys who are like we're like the same dude
we're like we're as funny as you it was incredibly awkward and hilarious do you do any impressions
of me yeah it's uh this [Music]
Richard you you've been on the show before we have videotape review that we use frequently
let's take a look at that now there we go are you going to play for us tonight [Music]
somebody kill me it looks like Dave please please please kill me [Applause] it feels
unfair not to mention dick Aspen this was another found comedy bit so we tried an experiment
where we just called his Filling Station got dick assman on the phone he and Dave really
hit it off as a funny phone call we came up with this idea that to do an ad for him and
we got Joe Namath to come in and shoot an ad for dick ass man you know a great gas station
the tenant is a lot like a great quarterback how a great quarterback throws touchdown passes
a great gas station attendant throws premium gasoline into your car's tank and nobody's
got a better arm than dick asman I'm Joe Namath and I've got dick as Mania via dick ass Maniac
visit Metro Canada today I think my favorite top 10 to work on and or watch was top 10
numbers from one to ten it was the definition of of dumb comedy which was just like number
three should come at number seven because it's funnier than number four coming at eight
the debate we were having didn't matter at all and yet the way it came out was probably
the funniest version and the debate was all worthwhile tonight's top 10 list top 10 numbers
between one and ten here we go number 10. seven
number nine number nine four number eight number eight ten number seven three number
six eight and one half
nine number four two number three one number two eight and the number one number between
one and ten oh my God Paul we have a tie five and six top ten also that was so fun to work
on was Casey Kasem reading a top 10 countdown of numbers and doing long distance dedications
with them and tonight's request and dedication goes on to a 15 year old girl named Stephanie
from Omaha Nebraska she writes dear Casey friend Bruce hooked away last month because
his father has a new job in Buffalo and we miss each other terribly it would mean a lot
to both of us if you'd say our favorite number well Stephanie and Bruce I'll do what I can
to make things a little easier during this difficult time
here's your request Stephanie and Bruce your favorite number debuting all the way up at
number one
two
I was thinking of pieces that were made during that time that I loved more than anything
and one of the ones that I I feel like deserves to be watched more often as a as a John Beckerman
creation called Mo the meat slicing man [Music]
[Music] person
now the Stage Deli already had a meat slicer named Jimmy
[Music]
got higher the very next day as Jimmy's replacement now he's more but badass meat slicing man
I think the thing that I love the most is something that like I don't even think we
had a setup for it Dan Rather he was mugged they ran up to him and said what's the frequency
Kenneth REM had just put out what's the frequency Kenneth it involved Dan at uh sound check
at Madison Square Garden for RM Michael Stipe is trying to teach Dan Rather it's like do
do what's the Frequency it's like a weird offbeat and Dan Rather could not figure out
the beat the beauty of doing a show like that is everyone's up for trying something and
weird stuff happens sometimes that you could never imagine happening [Music] [Applause]
[Music]
three
[Applause] please [Applause] [Music]
[Applause] [Music] doesn't that happen in every one of these interviews somebody at
some point says suhan you're a genius you save the show [Music]