- You wanna know what the most intimate thing in life is?
What people pay each other, and for what.
So today we are sharing our Venmo
transaction histories to each other.
Arasha's new to the cast.
She's also new to this format.
- Ooh!
- Wow.
- Welcome, welcome, welcome.
- Thank you.
- Thank you for showing us your dirtiest of laundry.
- Oh, and I'm, I'm not new to Venmo,
so I can't wait to share what I've spent.
- Venmo expert.
- Yeah.
- The official Venmo expert here.
- Yeah. I'm a guest star actually.
- Do you guys lurk on Venmo at all?
- Most of the transactions I see on Venmo is like four
and then it's like an emoji.
And I don't know if the emoji
actually references what it was.
Sometimes people paying back for like concert tickets.
And then a lot of the times, I think it's drugs.
I don't know.
- If it's drug deals on Venmo,
It's gonna say groceries.
- Yeah.
- That's how you,
- is that what it is?
- That's what it is, yeah.
Just, so for all you out there, all you parents.
- So what do you think they found when they were going
through your transactions?
- Groceries.
- (laughing)
- All right,
- Let's find out.
Courtney, what are you purchasing on Venmo?
- All right, here's mine.
All right.
I paid $100 to Dr. Steve
for buccal fat in parenthesis, loose in a bag.
- What is buccal?
- So that's, so that's the fat
that fills kind of your cheek.
it's the fat that fills out your face.
- Ooh!
- So people get it removed to try to accentuate
certain parts of their face.
The, what's her name lead from Glee,
Lea Michele, whatever.
- Yeah.
- So she's a very popular person who had this surgery done.
And many people see it and they react to it.
- Okay, TMZ.
- Okay, TMZ. I'm impressed.
- That's it.
- Why would you pay for this?
- So, okay.
Sometimes, when you're walking on Hollywood Boulevard
you see some weird signs and I, you know, I was like, wow
this is probably the most Hollywood souvenir I could get.
And I, I didn't know what fat it was, but it was
like literally a Ziploc bag
with a little bit of stuff in it.
Little bit of-
- You could have gotten a celebrity's fat.
- Yeah. What if I got Lea Michele's cheekies?
- You could have.
Those cheekbones cannot be real.
I'm really glad you outed her.
- (laughing)
- Look, I, I-
- How do you feel?
- Okay, I'm ready.
Olivia, (indistinct) A thousand dollars.
- (laughing)
- I'm sorry.
I dunno.
- I paid $27 to Erewhon for
coffee that tastes the same as Starbucks.
- Ooh, just-
- Here's the thing.
- Hammering it in.
- It's $27 because it is blessed by Hollywood.
- Hollywood
- There, Bella Hadid is in there
somewhere floating a little bit.
- Yeah. A little bit of Bella in every glass
- There's a little bit of Bella Hadid.
There's a little, little bit of
Jerry Bruckheimer in there.
- Was he like a really cool barista?
- Yeah.
- At Erewhon?
- Yeah.
- What's his, what's their name?
- Leo.
- Leo. Whoa.
- That's hot.
- Oh, that is pretty cool.
- Last name?
DiCaprio.
- Whoa.
- Holy (bleep)
- He's really- Wow.
- Probably practicing for his next role.
- Yeah. His next role
- I'm ready.
I am, I'm a material woman.
So let's see what I've been spending my money on.
I paid $40,000 to Jiffy Lube for an oil change.
I don't really know a lot about cars,
but when I, when I got there
they offered me like this premium oil change.
Like they said it would make my car
the smoothest ride in LA
- Oh my God.
- And I mean, how can you not?
- That's true.
- How can you not say yes to that?
- So is it a smooth ride?
- It's, it's, it's kind of smooth.
I mean, it, it could be better, I guess.
Like, I kind of push my car a little bit sometimes,
just to get it started.
But after that-
- Why don't you just buy a new car for that price?
- Cars are like 10 times that price.
Don't be silly.
- Let's be honest, there's not much money to send around.
So let's see what it is.
Ah, I remember this.
I paid $40 to Courtney for Bloopy Doopy.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. That was your funny name
for the, the buccal fat.
- Yeah, that's exactly what it was.
I did.
Cause I just had a little bit
it was just a quick, quick bump of buccal.
That's what I had.
- I knew it!
- Yeah. I was wondering.
I was like, your cheeks are so cute today.
What?
- Yeah. Yeah.
It's all the buccal.
- I know.
Look at us all lying, lying to each other
that we don't know what buccal is.
- When in reality, we all got snatched together
- All off the same bag of fat too.
It lasts a while.
- Yeah. Yup.
- An unbroken bond.
- Yeah. We're buccal brothers now.
- (sputters)
- Oh.
- I paid $100 to cows and I said keep doin you.
- I'm gonna be honest.
I think, I think you might have gotten scammed.
I don't know.
I I don't know if cows
the collective animal have a Venmo account.
- Dude. Okay.
You'd be surprised.
It was @cows.
And I, so, you know, on one of my many road trips, you know
when you drive by and they're like, horses, cows.
And so this time me and my family stopped for cows
to say hi.
And one of them had like one
of those chains with a, like a thing on it
- With a QR code on it?
- And it had, it had, its, it had a freaking QR code.
And I was like, what is this?
And it, it was @cows, dude.
- Wow.
- That's so noble of you to do that.
- Thank you.
I wonder-
- That's a hearty donation.
- I wonder what they're gonna buy.
- Oh, milk.
- That's so crazy.
- No, they have milk.
They have it.
- No, no.
They're trying to inflate their own, you know-
- (laughs)
Increase demand.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- What did I say? I knew it
(indistinct) buy crystals.
- Olivia, I'm so sorry.
- This is just what happened when I,
you know, don't set any boundaries.
- (laughs)
- So yeah.
I paid $600,000 to the Los Angeles Crystal Emporium
for the cheapest crystal you have.
- Holy (bleep)
- It's an investment.
- The crystal is really good for my gut.
- They do?!
You got it?
- It's a gut crystal.
- Some gut health.
- Yeah. It's like pre and probiotic.
- That's awesome.
Pre-pro.
Nice.
- Pre-po.
- That's nice.
- So this is huge.
This is like a very large crystal.
- Oh no.
It's like this big.
- Oh.
- Okay.
- I make a lot of money here.
Yeah. So, yeah.
- And that's the cheapest crystal they have?
- It's a nice emporium.
It is.
- Wow.
- I gotta visit it.
- I don't even know what emporium means.
- It's a place that makes you poor.
It impoors you.
- Ooh!
Okay, then that totally makes sense.
- Yeah.
- Let's see, next
I paid $160,000 to Jiffy Lube for oil change.
Redo.
- Redo.
- They redid it.
They redid it.
I I did bring it back with, you know
just a little bit of the issues.
- Something is like really wrong with you.
Even for me, this is a lot.
And I spent $600,000 on a tiny crystal.
- Come on, you guys, a car.
Your vehicle is so essential in the city.
Like that's where you need to get places.
I feel like you need to invest.
You need to put money down on the things that matter.
- I am so worried about you.
- What kind of car you drive?
- A Honda.
- Honda oil's really expensive.
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like Lubie did me a favor, right?
Yeah. Lubie did me correctly.
- Wow.
- As it always does.
- I paid $40,000 to Davey's Auto Shop
for this year's accidents up front.
- (laughing)
- And I know it seems like a lot,
but it's actually really efficient.
I did the math.
So between my insurance
and then all my accidents every year it comes
out to about 40 grand.
So I figured if I'd just do it upfront,
it'll help me once I'm kind of doing taxes in April.
You know what I mean?
- Oh whoa.
- Whoa.
- I also had to do the same thing for my funeral plot
because I expect this year to crash into a wall.
Yeah.
- Oh my God.
- Wow.
Wow.
- Right.
- I just, get the things done quick.
You know what I mean?
- This one, I paid $50 to Trixie Mattel
and I said if I give you this money
can I just tell people I've met you?
Trixie Mattel, world famous drag queen,
winner of Drag Race All Stars.
- So this is interesting,
cause you told me last week that you met Trixie Mattel.
- Okay. The craziest part is
that you still paid cows
more than you paid all these people.
- (laughing)
- Oh my-
- Wow.
- That's like the most homophobic thing I've ever done.
- You paid Trixie less than cows.
Wow.
- I paid $500 to Greta Thunberg for cancel me momby.
Fire emoji.
It was, it was honestly a typo.
I actually meant cancel me mommy.
- (laughing)
- Okay, so that's just a typo.
- Yeah. My, my thumb slipped.
So,
- That's what happens.
Why did you want Greta to cancel you?
- Fire flame emoji.
The earth is burning up.
It's hot.
- Yeah.
- And you're mad at yourself.
- Yeah.
Like cancel me mommy.
- $500. That's that's a generous donation.
- Yeah. That'll really help.
- I'm really proud of you.
- That's like, how many cups of coffee?
- Well I also paid $20 to Oprah.
- Oh.
For You're doing a you're doing a great sweetie.
Oprah is like one of my icons.
- Really?
- I, yeah.
I just feel like she's like forgotten nowadays
cause there's so many other people that have like, come up
to the surface when like, come on, we all remember Oprah.
- Right.
- So I just feel like she needed a little like, pick me up
- Arasha, What other celebrities have you venmo'ed?
I mean you got Oprah.
- Oh yeah.
All the ones that have really made a huge difference.
You know, Lizzo definitely.
- Okay.
- Ooh yeah.
- She's doing some great work out there.
- You're doing a great sweetie.
- Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
- Being a great sweetie.
- Barack for sure.
Always sweet.
Always still doing some good stuff.
- Shane (indistinct)
- Keanu.
- Keanu Reeves?
- Yeah. Yeah.
You know, he's just mixed in
with all of like historical icons too and stuff,
You know? Yeah.
- Historical icons?
Like you, you Venmo historical icons as well?
- Yeah.
- Like who?
- Harriet Tubman.
- How long have you been Venmo-ing Harriet Tubman?
- Literally every week.
- How long have you-
- You can enjoy your coffee every week.
I'll enjoy venmo-ing
Harriet Tubman.
- Sorry. You're doing, you're doing important work.
- Wow.
- You're doing important work.
- She's busy.
- Wow.
- Gosh.
- So I did do this.
I paid $150 to the 12 foot skeleton from Home Depot
for fitness coaching.
I did do that.
- Wait, you wanted to learn something from this?
- Yeah. I mean, have you, that's a, they got big bones
and if you wanna get big and strong, you know
it's the bones that matter.
When, when they're building a skyscraper
what do they do first?
The foundation.
- They build the bones.
- The bones.
The bones.
- Would you guys like me if I was 12 feet tall?
- Definitely.
- That'd be amazing.
- Definitely.
- You'd be-
- The taller the better, actually.
- I pay $150 every month and I started two months ago.
You guys feel like you,
- It looks like you're, oh,
- Well look you reached the boom.
- I know.
And the booms usually hit the ceiling.
- Whoa.
- This is, it's a 12 foot ceiling right here.
- That's actually crazy.
- 12 foot ceiling.
- I'm sitting so I don't know.
- Yeah, it's-
- What's your coach's name?
What's his name?
Dr. Steve.
- Oh. Oh, the buccal guy.
- The boogle guy.
Yeah. Dr. Steve.
- [Courtney] Yeah maybe that's
- Yeah, Dr. Steve is the 12 foot skeleton.
- He sold me that bag.
Maybe it was all of his fat.
- Huh.
- You think that, that might be what happened?
- All right. This one I requested 3 cents from, from Keith.
And the reason being you paid me 2.50 for the coffee.
I generously spotted you with my own money.
But I said it was 2.53.
Smiley face.
You must not have heard.
No worries.
- Ahh! Face.
- No worries!
- Wait, do you guys see that emoji as like, ah, cause
- Yeah.
- I always see it as like
- Really?
- Your teeth, like-
- I love that we can hear it.
- That is like the most passive aggressive face.
Ahh!
- (laughing)
- No worries!
- Really?
I, I think it looks happy.
What if you did a little winky face at the bottom?
Well he's like, ah, ah
- That's a little more innocent.
I think I like that.
- You think that's innocent?
- Yeah.
- Like the wink kinda lets you in on it.
Like, it's like, Hey we're best buds.
- Yeah like
- (laughs)
Did he pay you back?
- No.
- No?
But it's three pennies.
You know, maybe one day when we're at a museum
and I want to like do the, the rolly machine
that squishes the penny into a different penny
and maybe he'll do that for me.
- Requesting $4
from Noah
for Otter, peanuts and ghost.
- So Olivia took me to the Los Angeles Zoo
and she bought me some peanuts
and I thought it would be cute to give one to an otter.
Otters don't like peanuts.
- They hate peanuts.
- The shape gets stuck in their throat.
- Oh.
- And I did make a ghost otter.
- Ghost otter.
Yeah.
- Ghost otter?
- And she had to cover the charge.
- So basically Noah.
(offcamera laughing)
Yeah. You know what, if you murder an otter in Los Angeles
it's only $4.
- It costs $4.
- Wow.
- Yeah. Yeah. And it's not on record at all.
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
- Well, I'm glad that's cleared up.
- Did you? Well, did you pay it?
- I have not paid you back yet.
I haven't.
I will, I will.
I'll do it right now.
I'll do it right.
Thank you again-
I forgot.
Thank you again Olivia.
- Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you.
- I'll send, I'll send you 4.03
I'll cover Keith's.
- Oh, then I'll send it to you.
Oh, that's you Courtney.
- Yeah, that's fine.
- It's okay.
Olivia has money right? She's getting paid a lot.
- (indistinct)
- Ian gave me like a $3 million bonus.
- That's so sick.
- I also paid $3,000
to Courtney Miller
for thanks for cutting me a deal on that loose buccal girly.
That's right.
I pretended not to know about it.
- (offcamera laughing)
- This is what happens when we don't have HR here.
- What?
- Everyone's cutting deals.
We're moving loose buccal fat for each other
outside of work.
- It was under the table.
- What else are you guys doing outside of this place?
- Kissing!
- Courtney!
- If you have a bag of someone's little cheek fat,
and you kiss the bag, it's like kissing them on the cheek.
- Aw.
- Wow.
- I, I didn't pay for that.
I didn't wanna do that though.
- Oh, I remember this.
So I paid $180 to Joe Biden for taxes.
I dunno if you guys, you guys better get this done soon.
- Okay, so-
- He's gonna be calling.
- Okay.
So that means you only made what, like $220 this year?
- Yeah, I made $220 this year and I had to pay 180 in taxes.
- That's crazy.
- Back to Joe Biden.
- That is true.
Yeah. Cause I did my brand deal with Crayola.
- So did you know that
you're not supposed to Venmo your taxes to the president?
- No, but you can to the IRS and I've done that.
- So like I'm wanted right now?
- Probably.
- Yeah.
- (bleep) I'll have to text Joe about it.
- These are just like write offs, you know
- Write offs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Just write offs.
It'll come back.
I paid $500 to Emerson College
for PLEASE put me as famous alumni on your Wikipedia.
- Wow.
- Do you guys know the kind of people who are on there?
- Who?
- Like, like Jay Leno.
- Wow.
- Jennifer Coolidge.
- (imitating Jennifer Coolidge) Wow.
- Patrick McDonald.
Like
- (all) Whoa!
- I know.
- Have you ever edited your, edited your own Wikipedia page?
- Yeah, you can do that.
- So I can just add myself onto the Emerson page?
- You can, you can write anything you want on there.
- And some of it actually will stay like
because if you write it in there
and then the person who's fact checking and be like, hmm
what is this person?
And then they'll see you
and they'll be like Arasha Lalani of Smosh?
- Yeah.
That makes sense.
- (Indistinct) by Ian Hecox?!
- Cause I remember checking a while ago and I didn't see
that Patrick McDonald, but then it was just there one day.
- Right. Patrick is, typing away.
- I paid $500 to the video game designer
in charge of the outfits
for Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2
for fashion inspo. Yeah.
- You literally dress like that
and you don't know how to skate.
- I, I know, I know.
It's really embarrassing.
- That's the asterisk
with these outfits is that you have to skate in them.
- It's, it's mandatory.
- That is true.
- But I love this.
This is iconic.
- Thank you.
Tony Hawk's games. Best fashion of all time.
- Yeah.
- I like the helmet that he wears.
Ever since I paid this money,
the designs that I've gotten back have been great.
Some great fashion inspirations like khaki pants
shoes that are flat.
Man, one of those hats that are soft like a beanie.
But have a little brim
but it's not far enough out to block out the sun.
- Oh yeah.
- You know what I mean?
Yes. Things like that.
So trendy.
- This one, okay.
I paid $10 to the Despicable Me franchise
and what I said was
show me minion hole with eyes like this.
- You're disgusting, you're despicable.
I can't believe you.
You're a disgusting freak.
- I thought this was gonna be private, okay?!
- What is wrong with you?
Those are my friends!
- Those are, you're friends with the minions?
- Those are her friends.
Dude, I'm sorry.
She posts a lot about minions on Instagram.
- It's not just Instagram.
It's my life.
So,
- Okay.
- Yeah. I have a question.
Did you receive what you paid for?
- I mean, no, but you know, on Venmo,
if you're paying someone, there's a little check mark.
Like check this box for businesses just in case you don't
get what you want so you can get your refund.
And I did check that box
so I could get my refund if I wanted.
- Courtney, maybe you should have typed it in minion.
Maybe they would've got it.
- Oh. Like, (undulating like a minion)
Show me minion hole.
- Yeah, that would've worked.
- You just gotta hide that into the minion language.
- Did I say that right Olivia? I'm sorry.
- Our culture is not for you to appropriate.
- [Noah] She's a minion now.
- So technically Olivia, could show you minion hole.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
We don't have HR right now, but Arasha,
That's not, that's not okay.
- I'm just saying I'd pay for that.
- Alright, let us know in the comments
Who else's Venmo transaction histories
you would like to see.
I'm interested in everybody's,
I just love being in people's business.
I love sharing all my own.
You guys know, I'm an oversharer.
- About buccal fat.
- Buccal fat.
You wanna share some cheeks?
Let's share some cheeks in the comments guys.
- You guys really like just found out
about this buccal thing?
- I've never heard this word until today.
- It's the hot word of the last month.
- How do you say it?
Buccal or-
- I think it's buke-ul.
Buke-ul? Bu-cal.
- Let us know.
Let us know.
- Yeah. Let us know how to pronounce that word.
- Give us that good good phonetic.
- Yeah.
- (laughing)
- (offscreen) Great. Okay.