- It hurts, not being able
to provide for your kids.
Like, we've battled
through homelessness and everything.
So that's one of my most shameful,
'cause it hurts for real.
(atmospheric music)
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- Oh no, shameful?
- [Interviewer] Yeah.
- That's a good question.
- Oh man.
- Shameful?
- [Interviewer] Yes.
- Oh God.
- [Interviewer] Can you tell me
about your most shameful moment?
- I don't know my most shameful moment.
I don't really feel shame.
- I live a pretty clean life,
besides fighting and gambling. (laughs)
- Either I blocked those moments out completely,
or I just like haven't done anything.
- [Interviewer] Has there been a moment
that's brought you shame?
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] That you feel comfortable talking about?
- Nah, not today.
- I don't hold a lot of shame.
- I don't really have any regrets.
I enjoy everything I do.
Sure. (laughs)
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- Shameful?
There's so many. (laughs)
- There's a laundry list.
- No really, there's too many.
- I can't pick one.
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- When I shit myself at a Krispy Kreme.
- Pooping and puking at the same time
on my birthday.
- When you accidentally fart
in front of your girlfriend
you just met for the first time
or something like that. (laughs)
- Peeing in a cup while other people were around.
- [Interviewer] I'm sorry, what?
- Somebody's in the bathroom,
and I had to go.
I had like a Big Gulp Slurpee.
I had some other drinks.
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- Oh God.
There's nothing more shameful
than waking up after a night out,
and like not remembering fully what happened,
but knowing you embarrassed yourself.
- My partner has this picture of me
when I was passed out after a night of clubbing.
- The shame of like,
"I'm never drinking again.
I don't know what I said to that person."
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- Sometimes I wish I went to college.
- Not finishing school.
- When I dropped out of college.
- I guess when I lost my job.
- I got fired from my first job.
- Taking my sister out to eat,
and I try to treat servers with respect,
and this one,
I don't know if something I said made her cry,
and my sister would not let me live this down,
because she's like,
"Remember you made the server cry?"
And I'm like...
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- When my mom caught me cross dressing.
I think one time I fell asleep
in one of her skirts or something.
And she came to tuck me in
and asked the question.
It's like, "What is this?"
And I was like, "Oh, nothing."
- I'm always going to be most ashamed
of all the times I lied to my parents.
- Lied to my parents.
- So, I lied to my aunt.
- Not telling the truth.
- It was a total lie.
- I lied to my mom to get five bucks.
I told her it was for a good cause.
- But I just wanted to get
like five bucks in my pocket.
- I stole candy.
- And I stole this robot.
- But I got caught stealing
my parents' brand new truck
because I wanted to drive to Chili's
and do the 2 for $20,
and I stole it in the middle of the night.
- [Interviewer] How old were you?
- I was 14.
- [Interviewer] Oh, you stole the truck at 14?
- It's a Chili's 2 for $20.
It's worth GTA.
- You never wanna look bad
in front of your parents.
- After my parents got divorced,
I probably wasn't the nicest to my dad.
- My dad checked my phone
and saw I was talking mess about my stepmom.
That was really bad.
- [Interviewer] Did she find out?
- Oh yeah, she found out.
It was so awkward after that.
She hates me to this day.
- My mom was not afraid
to just tell everybody about my business.
A lot of shame came from that.
- Getting into a pretty hefty argument with my mom.
- After my mom passed away,
we didn't have the money
to put a headstone on her grave.
And so she sat in an unmarked grave.
So, that still kind of sits heavy with me.
- The most shame I ever felt was when I was 21
and I found out I was pregnant with my son.
My Mama wasn't worried about,
but telling my dad,
I felt so ashamed.
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- I would say my bully years.
- I was a bully.
- I said something hurtful to my sibling.
- I was really horrible to my best friend.
- I called this girl's brother a (bleep),
and that was also when I was going through
a phase questioning myself.
So, now I have more compassion,
and I know that it was major projecting.
- When I was a young queer person,
I was super toxic and hated feminine guys,
and were talking out shit on other people.
And so, I'm ashamed
that I let that lash out and affect other people.
- What's your most shameful moment?
- Staying in a relationship with a guy
when I knew I was gay.
- When I was really tryin' to figure out
what I was looking for and trying to understand being queer.
It sucks that me not being clear on what I wanted.
It has affected and impacted so many people.
- What's your most shameful moment?
- So, when I was in high school...
- In high school...
- Like high school.
- High school.
- High school
- When I was in high school,
I was playing flag football
and somebody grabbed my pants and it broke it all away.
And I was just standing there in my tighty-whities.
- I got kicked out of private boarding school
for plagiarizing a paper. (giggles)
- For a talent show,
I went up and I was really excited
about the song I was gonna sing.
I just immediately started sobbing
and I ran off the stage and I didn't come back.
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- I kissed someone when I was dating someone once.
- I kissed another girl.
- I messed with somebody who was getting married.
I don't think I did it long enough
to be like straight to hell,
(interviewer laughs) but I might be questioned
when I get to the Pearly Gates.
(both laughs)
- I was in middle school
and this dumb boy was giving me attention,
but he was dating one of my best friends.
So, I ended up sending him a naked picture,
and then my best friend found out.
- I kind of fucked my friend's crush,
but not penetrated.
- What's your most shameful moment?
- The last guy who I talked to,
I let him disrespect me like numerous times.
- How I allowed myself to be treated
in my past relationship.
It's like shameful slash embarrassing.
- Staying in my relationship as long as I did.
- Relationship that I was in.
- Really toxic relationship.
- I was sleeping with a guy that I didn't like.
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- Breaking up with my ex.
- And I broke up with him.
- I didn't wanna be in our relationship anymore.
- I like threw a milkshake at his car.
- At the moment,
it felt pretty bad and shameful.
When I kicked my alcoholic ex out,
and I was like felt really guilty about it.
But, now I'm just like,
you know, "Fuck him. Whatever."
- She had cheated on me.
And we were together for a while
and she told me.
And I was just like, "It's okay."
And I had no self-respect for myself.
And she ended up staying
and we became really toxic for like another three years.
Helped me grow but, man...
- What's your most shameful moment?
- A guy cheated on me,
caught me at a bar,
asked for me back.
And I just said, "No, you've got a small dick."
And I feel guilty about it
cuz I try not to comment on something as trivial as size.
- I regretted sleeping with someone
that I didn't originally want to sleep with.
- I felt ashamed like losing my virginity.
- Me and a co-worker hooked up in the break room.
He was my rebound at the time.
I knew I shouldn't have been messing around with him,
but I did.
- [Interviewer] What's your most shameful moment?
- Geez, I'd probably say like getting a DUI.
- I got a DUI.
- Getting a DUI,
backing into the police officer
and nicely asking him to move
so I could make it to the liquor store in time.
- I was speeding.
And then, we had empty beer cans
in the back of the car,
and the officer smelled beer cans.
- I think I've probably done stupid things.
You know, when I drink.
- There's many shameful moments in my meth days.
- I have lied to some people in my life
who've just wanted to help me
through those addiction problems.
- In a way,
my most shameful moment was like going
to my first meeting for addiction.
After, you know, you break through that denial barrier
and you realize that you are helpless
to the thing that controls you.
So that was, you know, shameful
but also like,
I don't know, refreshing.
- What's your most shameful moment?
- I didn't feel like able to help somebody
who was going through like a hard time emotionally.
- I was not mentally prepared to be there for her.
- I was inducted to a hospital and hospitalized
for a little period of time in my life.
It's really nothing that you should be really shame for,
but I had kind of like a mental breakdown.
You feel a sense of shame for being too weak
- I was like considering suicide.
And it's really weird
cuz you're in a house full of all these people
that love and care about you.
So, I guess I felt shame
that I couldn't talk to them about it.
- There are people that have,
since passed away,
that I just kind of stop talking to.
- What's your most shameful moment?
- My divorce.
Because of the way my divorce proceedings have gone,
I haven't seen my kids in almost three years.
- It hurts not being able to provide for your kids
at times when they really need it.
Like we've battled through homelessness and everything.
So, that's what I'm most ashamed for.
Cuz it hurts for real.
And to look at them like "You got to do better.
You got to do better."
My most shameful moment...
Oh shit.
I think 'twas when I came to terms
that I was like sexually assaulted at a very young age.
The whole like blaming yourself
and going through the motions of that,
I think that was probably where I just felt the most shame.
- I was raped and I didn't tell anybody.
When I told my parents and they were like,
"Why didn't you tell me?
We would've helped."
I think I felt shamed that I didn't like say anything.
You just don't think that anybody cares
or is gonna believe you.
And then I'm like,
"Damn! No!"
My parents love me,
and it's not my fault that it happened.