Hey guys, so you're thinking about
dating a single mom
and you want to know if she's a keeper.
Well, in this video,
I'm going to give you a bunch of signs
that she is a great single mom
that you could consider dating and feel safe.
If you're new to my channel
my name is Anna Jorgensen
I'm a dating coach for men
and if you haven't already, click subscribe
and the notification bell
so you don't miss any of my
just the tip Tuesday videos.
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Okay, so I've already done the video
on the pros and cons of dating single moms.
So, in this video we're just going to go into
the signs to watch for that
she's a good single mom
that you can feel safe in considering dating
without worrying too much.
So, the first thing that
I would suggest looking for
is her relationship with her parents.
So, are her parents actually still together
and are they involved in her
and her child or children's lives?
If she has a good solid family support system
and or friends that are there for her and her child,
then that child is likely going to have had
a strong hopefully masculine figure somewhere
in the child's life
that will round out the home.
Now, yes, there's going to be
some people who won't like this
because they're like yo, what about like
gay couples with kids?
Well, guess what, my child's not for that.
So, I'm just talking to the straight guys
looking for single moms.
All right, so number two, she's not a partier
she doesn't drink excessively or do drugs.
If she doesn't even go out drinking with the girls
that is super bonus because her priorities
are in the right place maybe once in a while,
but she never gets drunk or high.
These are my list
I can make them any way which way I want to.
Okay, number three, her kids are her priority.
She's a good mom if she's got that straight.
These are her kids they're her responsibility
she needs to make them her priority,
but here's the but, she works to accommodate you.
She works on making room for you in her life
and in the life of the family unit.
So, it's not just all about her
and the kids and their schedule
it's about compromise
and working to make sure that you're a family unit
and that your needs are also met
within the group.
Four, she's financially stable
she either has a job or she has some means
of supporting the family
that doesn't solely rely on the ex.
Five, she discloses from the beginning
that she's got kids or a child
so she's not trying to hide that
she's disclosing right up front
that shows you that this woman's got character
and that she knows what her priorities are
that family is a priority, you do want a woman
who's going to make family a priority.
Even if you don't want any more kids
with her or in general.
Six, you're not going to like this one,
but she doesn't give it up right away.
So, she will want to get to know you
before just having *** with you.
She's going to vet the prospects of who
she's going to let into her life
and the lives of her children
or her child before she gets intimate
and allows intimacy to cloud judgment
on what's going to actually be a good fit
in the world not in the bedroom.
Seven, she has standards
and sticks to them, but kindly.
So, she knows her standards she'll stick to them
but she'll be kind and gentle
about expressing what those are
and following through
on what she needs to follow through with
in order to be able to maintain those standards.
She won't discredit herself
or go against her own moral judgments
just to be with someone.
I can't remember what we're on
so we're just going to say next.
Next one she's okay being single forever
so in other words she's not desperate
she's not just going to take
the first guy who shows up
just because she's lonely or desperate
or needy or any of those things.
So, she's okay on her own
but she likes something about you
and yeah, she wants to make room in her life for you.
Next one, she actually goes slow
in order to make sure that you're truly compatible
that your goals and leaves and your values
are in alignment for the long haul.
Next one she displays emotional
and financial stability.
So, those could actually be separated,
but we're going to throw them in together
so she's financially stable.
She's not in debt up to her eyeballs
maybe a little bit right now
depending on the world situation,
but generally speaking she's responsible
and emotionally stable.
She's not going to be a drama queen
or she doesn't have lots of emotional baggage.
You can watch my you know videos on that
to see what that would look like.
So, run away from those type of girls,
ladies, women, chicks.
There's another one that's super important
she actually encourages you
to pursue your hobbies
and your passions and your life purpose,
this one's major.
This one should be without question
something that you as having your own standard
will require from any relationship you're in
whether it's with a single mom
or with any other woman.
You need to have someone who's going to support you
in doing the things that you feel compelled to do
that satisfy or fulfill your own soul,
hobbies, passions, interests, goals,
ambitions all those things
should you want to make sure
that she's supportive of you
and she wants you
to be happy in doing those things.
Another one is that she prioritizes her health
so if she's you know pretty healthy
and relatively fit that she hasn't just used
having children as an excuse to let herself go
well that's a really good quality
because you know what you're signing up for.
Another good quality to actually look for is
if she's either a widow
or she's been single for a while
and this again just kind of proves that
well, not the widow thing.
But it proves that she's not desperate
because she didn't just settle
with whoever showed up first
she's been on her own for long enough to know
that she's content and capable being on her own,
but she's also now open to allowing someone into her
and perhaps her children's lives.
Another great quality is if her kids are respectful.
So, whatever age they are I mean if they're toddlers
it's going to be a little bit different
than if they're you know, 8 or 9 or 15.
But if her children
are respectful to you and well mannered
well, that shows a lot about her character
not just the children especially
if they got a deadbeat dad
who's not in the picture.
So, if she's managed to raise great kids
in spite of what their father might have been
then that's extra bonus point.
Okay, next one this is a really good one too
so if you've been able to spend any
enough time with her
to have met the children
and being in their company.
If there's a disagreement
and you and her don't agree
on the way the parenting should be done
in that particular situation
she doesn't take the children's side
in front of them.
So, there's an agreement
preferably actually expressed
before any of this would happen
that you agree that you're going
to stand together in unity
so that the kids don't divide and conquer.
And that you'll discuss
behind the scenes what should happen
and even if she's the one that has the final say
because they're her kids depending on
how far along in the relationship you are
and what the situation is.
That she is respectful
enough of your primary relationship
because your guys hopefully will be the ones
that will be still together after the kids leave
and go on their merry way.
So, she will stick by you
and then work it out with you behind the scenes
and then come back in
with a united front for the children
so that you’re always together
so that those kids can't come between you
by playing you against each other.
They still will try though
because that's what they do.
Along these lines is that
she not only considers your opinion
but she values your opinion about the children.
So, you are part of the family
this doesn't come right away it has to be earned
through time and example and trust and behavior,
but she actually respects and values your opinion
about how the parenting is done.
And if she has a respectable
relationship with the ex
that is amicable
she doesn't have to be best friends with the dude,
but if she doesn't actually
say anything bad about him
not that she makes excuses.
But if she just is respectful
then that shows a lot
about her good character as well.
And as well as along those lines is that
if she's got a good
relationship with her ex-in-laws.
Now, that's not always possible
but when a woman has a bad relationship
with her ex or all her exes and the in-laws
everybody else is wrong.
And she's like the bitter pill
to every berry she's ever been with
there's a lot of bees in that
then to me, that's a red flag.
Because what's the common denominator, sugar?
On another note no, we're on same note.
It's super important that you know before going in
if you actually even want a family, if you don't,
then you should not be
fooling around with a woman like this.
If she's just a *** at the bar
and she just needs a one-nighter
then that's something different.
But you don't want to get into a relationship
with a woman with kids unless you know for sure
that you're okay signing up for the long haul
because it's just not a good thing
to do to those kids.
And even though no it's not your responsibility
you're just going to end up with
headaches and heartbreak
if you don't figure some things out
at the very beginning. So, always make sure
that you have compatible beliefs, values, and goals
before you get into any relationship.
Another great sign is that she displays
responsible domestic abilities.
So, she's able to keep the household going
and even if she's working full time
she's got somebody else helping out with
you know, keeping house clean or what have you
or maybe it’s the kids who are actually chipping in
with domestic chores.
But she's got the household taken care of
and everything's running smooth.
As well, if you can see through her children
or how she interacts with her children
that she displays gentle
nurturing mothering qualities
then that may translate into
what you're going to get with her as well.
And the super big bonus is
if her parents are still together
and are happy well, that is a very good example
for someone who is now a single mom.
If you have anything else to add
write it in the comments below.
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