Chase: Hello everybody, it is me Chaseypoo, today
I want to talk to you about how for me personally a cis body is not the ideal body. Now for some people that might
Be controversial and I can understand that and we're allowed to have opposing views. So I just want to have like an open conversation
I want everyone to also understand that I don't represent the whole trans community
I am representing myself chase Ross over here
And also keep in mind that
Some of these topics that I'm going to talk about might trigger some dysphoria for some people. So let's just keep that in mind
That if you're triggered by things that I'm about to talk about just know that it's you know
I'm talking about bodies and like cis bodies and comparisons and stuff like that. So where am I getting this idea from?
Well, I've actually wanted to make this video for a very long time and while I was at VidCon in June
There was a question on the, I believe gender and body image panel, that I was on, about. How do we deal with
Like eh like the expectation of having a cis body or something like that
and I thought a lot about it and I think I gave a pretty
pretty decent answer because my whole thing is that
My ideal body is my body. I
have been transitioning for ten years and I
have not like learnt to love myself, but in a way, yes have done that and
More to be more positive about my body and I'm not saying that you know
If you think about it for 10 years you're gonna be happy with your body and not need surgery not have dysphoria
I'm not saying that at all I have dysphoria I think about surgery all the time and the dysphoria is so bad
Sometimes I don't want people to touch me like it does happen
But I've done so much mental work and emotional work over the last 8, 10 years that I have
kind of learned how to
Feel better about my body and myself and really embrace myself. So I made a video
Called "body positivity despite having dysphoria" in that video
I talked about how it's so important to understand that I didn't have any agency over my body
For years a doctor said it's a girl
I was forced to put on dresses and makeup and be socialized as female when I was not
And it's painful to talk about honestly, and I've had to kind of realize that "oh my god
I now have agency over my body!"
so for me having
agency over my body means to embrace my body and to love the body that I'm in and it takes a lot of work for
me to do that and I'm not saying that all trans people can do that and I'm not giving you advice to tell you to
Do that. I'm just giving you my own experience
And I know that some people still won't hear that sentence and they're gonna think that well you don't do that, you know
You can't just think about bath bombs and now you're gonna have like 12 up your ass and it's gonna make you feel better
Like it doesn't work like that. I'm very aware. It's like oh just smile. You won't be depressed anymore
Uhm, Okay, it doesn't work, right?
so for me
it's more like I've done so much mental work and
physical work that I've kind of come to accept my trans body and I I
Effing love my trans body. I love it
I love it so much and I'm allowed to still love it and have dysphoria and that's the big thing. I do have dysphoria
I've bottom dysphoria
often where I
Pack every single day and sometimes I use an STP because I need to pee standing up and I use prosthetics when I have sex
And they make me feel better
Especially the ones that look like my skin tone and it just makes me feel more like me and I have a lot of dysphoria
But I love my body and I love my trans body because I have learned to embrace it and I have learned to do things
with it that I
Feel like if I hadn't done all the work, I would be closed off too
And that's okay if you are, but for me, I've always been a very open and like very sexual person
My whole life so being trans and not being able to be sexual because that's the message
I feel like I was getting it's either you're too sexual because you're fetishized or you're not sexual enough
No one wants your undesirable. So I, I didn't really have a good kind of
Ground of what our base of what it was like to be trans and be sex positive and stuff like that
But it is super important for me to understand that I have this body
This is the only body that I have I can absolutely modify this body. I can have phalloplasty
I can have metoidiplasty
I have had Top surgery and yes, it is to make my body appear more masculine, but here's the thing
It's not because I wanna look cis
All right. It's because I want to be comfortable in my own skin and having a flat chest
Absolutely was something that I needed because when I started to grow the tittie and I put on a t-shirt
I literally looked down and said I cannot wear t-shirts anymore and it was devastating to be like 9 or 10 years old and that's
Devastating then I felt like I couldn't wear shirts anymore
I think it was like 10 or 11 maybe so kind of like going off of that
it's really important that I make the distinction that I had Top surgery because I wanted a flat chest and
It wasn't I don't think related to I'm a boy
I need a flat chest
Because you know some trans guys have chests and they love it and they don't get surgery and you know what, that's fine
They could still have dysphoria about their chest and that's completely fine. Some people are non-binary and
like to have top surgery and for them it is just more of a it's more of a neutral place where
Some people don't even get nipples because they don't like nipples and that's more gendered for them
Who knows look look listen everyone who's watching this video?
You could have a different interpretation of your body and whatever you want
And I think that that's what a beautiful thing is because I get to love my body and embrace my body
because it's my body and I don't care what other people think I
don't want a cis body
There is nothing wrong, obviously with a cis body, but it's not my personal journey that I'm reaching for
And it's not like I've accepted that phalloplasty isn't actually like a like a biological
You know penis and I'll never have that
It's nothing like that at all because phalloplasty is beautiful and it is a beautiful surgery that gives you beautiful
Results that are extremely realistic and I love the results honestly of phalloplasty
So it's not like phalloplasty will make me a man but phalloplasty sucks so I don't get it
No, I would love to have phalloplasty in the future and it's not because I want to be a man
It's because it's something that would make me more comfortable
and
it doesn't make me more of a man to have phalloplasty or not doesn't make me more of a man to wear a packer or
stand to pee
It doesn't. What makes me more of a man is that I don't say it makes me more of a man
That's not a thing that I say. I'm more me. I'm more chase and I've always said that I'm not binary
I'm not a binary trans guy and I'm not non-binary. I'm kind of in the middle
So whatever, non-binary, whatever you want to call me
I don't care but for me personally
I've always just wanted the body that I felt comfortable with and
Not the body that someone else was telling me that I should feel comfortable in
Because that's what they I feel like the message is for a lot of people
This is the body that you desire doesn't matter if the person is super muscular or whatever. It's a male, cis male body
You want a penis
You want a flat chest you want a beard you want a deep voice and all these things but for me
I know that a lot of the traits that I have and that I want and I needed are very
men and masculine on the side
and sure if you want to gender it that way absolutely you can if you want to do that you do you okay this
Is my body and for me I attribute it more to something that I needed in order to be comfortable
Anyways, I feel like it might be a little bit confusing for some people
So if you'd like me to kind of go over a couple of things that I you're that a little bit confusing for you
Please put them in the comments and I'll take a look at the comments and do my best or maybe make another video about it
But yeah, so that's how I feel
For me personally chase Ross. Okay for me I
I don't
Want someone else's idea of an ideal body?
I want my idea of an ideal body and the body that I'm in right now is my ideal body
Yeah, it sucks to have surgery and I wish I didn't have it didn't need to have it either
But I've accepted Who I am and the body that I have and if I need to change that in order to be more comfortable
I'm okay with that and I've accepted that and I understand that some people who might be younger in their transition might not get it
Because they wish that they weren't trans they you know, whatever blah blah, but I love being trans and that's just me
That's that's just that's just me
Okay
And I love my trans body and what I can do with it, and it just makes me happy that
I've been able to kind of embrace it after all of these years of not being able to love myself at all
So and of course, it doesn't mean like if you if you love don't love yourself
You don't love your trans identity none of that at all. But you know again, this is me
This is how I feel. Anyways, let me know you think have a great day. Bye