Male Worker: Ugh, did you hear?
Overlord Trump is replacing the 2032 Oscars with arena combat.
Female Worker: Well, you Bernie Bros wouldn’t vote for a woman,
so here we are making Soylent Green crackers!
Male Worker: OH HO HO HO! This again,
I didn’t realize I told Hillary not to campaign in Wisconsin.
Female Worker: No, YOU were busy throwing your vote away on Jill Stein.
Male Worker: Leave Jill out of this.
It's your neoliberal "queen"
with the hot sauce in her bag who couldn't—
Both: AHHH!
Female Worker: EMAILS!!
Guard: Actually it was economic anxiety.
Narrator: So your climate is changing.
Narrator: Man, it’s a hot one. Worried?
Scientist: Last year was the hottest year on record,
for the third year in a row! We should def--Hey!
Man: There, problem solved!
Narrator: Why not enter the oh so fun world of climate denial?
Follow these easy steps and you'll stop worrying in no time!
First, make sure you put your personal comfort
and tax burden ahead of the needs of every
human being stretching from here ‘til infinity!
Man: The more I save on my taxes, the more water I could stockpile!
Narrator: Second, set up a false dichotomy
that a 9 year old would see through!
Man: How is global warming real when it’s so freezing in here?
Explain that one, Science!
Narrator: And third, just sort of ignore every single thing around you.
That’s just good life advice in general!
*man singing*
Man: Whoa!
*splash*
Man: and you said there would be droughts!
Then why am I wet?
Narrator: Move over Hamilton
'cause here comes the longest running show in America:
Gravestones and Nightsticks!
Performed by the original Blue Man Group,
Gravestones & Nightsticks has been slaying audiences across the U.S.!
And Off-Broadway productions are popping up in more places than we care to admit.
It’s a hit in Hot-lanta!
Cop: Stop resisting! STOP RESISTING!
Narrator: They’re bringin’ down the house in Philadelphia!
They got 'em rollin' on the floor in Rochester!
You’ve got to witness the show that Florida refers to as "business as usual”
And don’t forget!
Special event performances for the kids!
You can book the cast for your pool party.
Due to high turnover,
Gravestones and Nightsticks is always looking for new leads.
Are you the next star?
Minorities highly encouraged to audition.
*two women chatting*
Women: Gasp!
Narrator: After a decade of decline,
the global arms trade is booming again,
thanks to rising instability around the world.
While America's will to be the world’s policeman is fading…
Uncle Sam: Yawn!
Narrator: it remains the world’s biggest arms dealer.
Over the last five years, transfers of major weapons
reached their highest point since the Cold War.
The arms trade amounted to $31 billion in 2016,
and five countries scooped up 75% of those profits.
The U.S. alone is responsible for a third of all weapons exports.
American Man: We're number one! Woo-Hoo!
Russian Man: Ha ha! Russia is a close second!
Narrator: Germany, France and China are distant runners-up.
Meanwhile, Trump's pledge to boost military spending means
even more American hardware on the market.
So where do all these weapons go?
India is the world’s biggest buyer, and gets most of them from Russia.
Putin: They work great on journalists!
Narrator: Saudi Arabia is the second biggest buyer,
and most its weapons come from the US.
Trump: I love making huge deals. Ok?
Narrator: Globally, the demand for arms is driven by two regions:
the Middle East and Asia.
Southeast Asian states are responding to Chinese aggression
in the South China sea by stockpiling weapons.
Meanwhile, in the Middle East,
Sunni states are arming themselves
as their regional Cold War with Iran heats up
in battlegrounds like Yemen and Syria.
Large weapons stockpiles in unstable states can backfire,
like when ISIS seized a big chunk of Iraq's weaponry in 2014.
ISIS Man: Thanks for the guns Uncle Sam!
Uncle Sam: Don't mention it.
Narrator: But there’s no real international law governing the arms trade.
Uncle Sam: We'd just break it anyway.
Narrator: The UN passed an Arms Treaty two years ago,
but Russia didn’t sign and the US didn’t ratify.
*explosion*
Narrator: We need to stop this madness.
The only bombs America should be supplying overseas,
are its Transformers movies.
Female Guard: You really believe that's why Trump won the election?
Male Guard: People had legit worries!
Economic anxiety!
Female Guard: Oh! You mean racism?
That's a code word for racism.
Male Guard: Wages were stagnant—still are, I guess
—but Eternal Overlord Trump spoke to them, he—
*alarms and sirens*
Trump: Remember everyone, ok?!
Report to the racism rally tonight,
*respirator*
We're doing racism.
Male Guard: Okay, maybe it played a minor role.
It's weird though...nothing ever improved.