On our channel we share a lot of accessibility nightmares.
Yes.
This one takes the cake. There are things that we've shared where people have
been like, "Oh my god, I can't believe that airplanes aren't accessible or this
happened to you." This...
All of that pales in comparison.
This is bizarre.
I'm not kidding you, what we are about to tell you was the most humiliating
experience I've had in the last twenty years, I think.
What was the one before this?
I don't know, I feel like I peed my pants as a kid.
This is ridiculous... and a little bit funny.
Uh huh.
[intro song] Hello, hello, welcome to the show, welcome to the show,
welcome to the show, it's time to talk about our lives [Chloe bark]
So Shane and I fly a lot for speaking engagements, travel for fun, whatever.
We just like how inaccessible air travel is so we do it as often as we can.
We found ourselves flying a lot and we did not have TSA Pre-check. If you don't
know, TSA Pre-check lets you go in a special line of security, they've verified
your identity, you're a "known traveller", and so you don't have to take off your
shoes, you don't have to take your laptops out of your bag. It's just a quicker process
at the airport, which--
S: And for a wheelchair user... H: Yeah, I was gonna say.
Yeah, just for a wheelchair user, the process is also way simpler if you
have TSA Pre-check.
Yeah.
That was another big reason that we were like, maybe let's just do it.
Yeah, so for four years we've been like "We should really get TSA Pre-check,"
and then last months we flew four times and we were like, "We really need to have this."
So we finally applied online, there's a fee to do it and you go in person to an office
and they have to verify your identity and all this stuff. So we've been putting
off this process, we finally decided to do it.
So, it came time for us to go in person to verify our identities at this TSA office
type deal, it was in a very normal office building, in the basement actually.
It might've been fake, it might've been in the wrong area, but a tiny little office,
little waiting room with a few cubicles.
Yep.
And there's a good number of people there, all having their identities verified.
Yep.
We were in the waiting room and we saw probably ten people come and go
having their identities verified ahead of us.
It's a really quick process, it's just finger printing, you tell them your
information and they get a picture of you, so it literally takes like two
minutes per person, maybe.
And they came out and they called us in and what transpired from here
I can't even... you have no... you cannot fathom.
No, you can't fathom.
How ridiculous everything is about to go downhill.
I will preface this story by saying the employees at this office were
extremely kind, very accommodating.
They also all knew our channel.
Yeah, like apologetic when this started to transpire. Like the people that
worked there were wonderful and amazing, this is absolutely not their fault.
As you're going to hear in the story, this was not like, "Someone was rude."
No, no, no.
We actually really got along with all the people involved.
Yeah.
They were real friendly.
So, we go into the little office and we need to answer some questions.
There's a big computer that this TSA agent is entering information into,
like social security number, addresses, things like that. Hannah goes first.
Yep.
And after she answers her questions, you had to sign something, right?
Yeah.
You had to finger print all ten fingers and then you had to get your photo taken.
And the finger printing was a machine that you would put your fingers on the
screen, it wasn't like dye.
And as I'm watching Hannah begin her process, I'm noticing different things
about it that don't look very doable for me.
Yeah.
Like reaching the thing that you have to sign your name on. Or reaching the
thing that you have to do your fingerprints on, or getting into the area where your
photo needs to be taken. So I'm watching, it's taken like three minutes and I'm
telling myself, okay, there is no way that every aspect of this is not accessible.
Like lots of wheelchair users have TSA Pre-check. So now it was my turn.
Big moment, and boy oh boy, did it go horribly. Before we get into all that,
I want to show you a little magic trick.
And now, using nothing but dark magic, I will use my mind to
remove Hannah's clothing.
Oh, lord.
On the count of three, give us a spin. One, two, three...
Ha ha!
Ta da!
There are very few videos where it's appropriate for me to use dark magic
to remove my wife's clothing. But when she has a signature bra, that's a good reason.
Alright, my work here is done.
I am so excited about this partnership with Harper Wilde to make a
signature bra.
My wife has a signature bra (laughs)
This bra, I have to turn around, says 'Keep Laughing' on the back and 15
percent of the proceeds go to Laughing At My Nightmare, Shane's non-profit.
This is my non-profit that provides medical equipment to people with
disabilities.
Yes.
I have been wearing this bra for three, four months now, since this
partnership has been in the making.
I cannot tell you how many times she's said to me, "Shane, this bra is so comfortable."
It is the most comfortable... my mom has two of them now.
Yeah, then her mom got one and then three times day...
Well, she tried mine on and she was like "Oh my god." And she has said that she
never wears bralettes because they're not supportive enough for her.
This one is, and she loves it.
All I hear all day long, "This bra! Oh, this bra!"
From two sides of the house, we're like, "Yeah! The bra!"
And Shane's like oh my god, when will this be over. But I'm so excited that
it's available now, you can go to the link in the description of this video
to buy one. Get an amazingly comfortable bra, it's also adorable.
A signature Hannah bra.
And also support Laughing At My Nightmare at the same time. So it's the
perfect partnership, I'm so happy.
The best part is that this bra is 100% Shane approved.
That literally means nothing to anyone. Thanks guys.
Alright, give us another spin.
Alright, back from Shane's favorite brand deal ever.
My favorite brand deal that we've ever done. My wife has a signature bra!
Okay, moving on.
So, first up, Shane had to answer all the questions.
And I nailed that part.
That went great, that was fantastic, it was totally fine.
Then I had to autograph a thing, a little device, and I asked the agent , "Is there
any way that can move?" And it sort of did, it was on a wire. She was able
to slide it to the edge of the desk but that was not close enough for me.
Yeah.
So I was like, "Alright, well I'll kind of try." So Hannah jams the pen into my hand.
I literally was holding the pen, Shane was guiding my hand, it was absurd.
I mean I was essentially signing, but we were like, "Okay, Shane's signing."
And that part, I mean we've had to do that before, that's a fairly common
failure of accessibility in the world.
Yeah.
So we're used to Hannah helping me sign.
Then it was time to do my finger prints, which is arguably, or it is, the most
important part of this process. This is how the TSA is going to verify who I am and
either approve me or deny me for TSA Pre-check.
Uh huh.
The device is about... can you show them with your hands how big it is?
It is a square plastic box on the table with a glass top that took your
fingerprints somehow, I don't know.
Yeah, well it was one hand at a time, two quadrants. You had to put three
fingers in one, two in the other, or some combination, and it would take the
fingerprints all at once. And you had to do it four times to make sure it
got it correctly.
So I said to the agent, I was like, "Alright, my fingers don't really straighten, A.
B, I cannot extend my arms onto the desk, what should we do here?"
Yeah, you were like, "I can do one finger at a time. Because one can straighten,
Shane just can't do all at a time." And they were like, "No, it has to be all four
or five at once."
Yep, something about the machine would not do your fingers one at a time, you
had to do them in pairs or all four.
(Chloe barking)
The agent did everything that she could to move the device as close to me as
possible, but even worse than the signature thing, this one barely moved.
And both of us, she and I, were trying to straighten Shane's fingers out. She would
hold two of them and then I would try to get to the other two, we were literally
both on Shane's hands trying to smash it and it would not, every single time the
machine was like, "Invalid." It would not take the fingerprints.
And so time is passing, we have to make it work. So I am yelping in pain because
my fingers don't straighten but they need to. And, you know that my nickname
is Grubs, that is because I have very sweaty hands.
Yep, and this was not helping.
That condition is exacerbated when I am nervous or in high pressure situations like this.
I kid you not, my hands were dripping drops of sweat.
All over the machine, she was giving us paper towels and we were wiping
Shane's hands off.
And we were all kind of laughing about it but I was so embarrassed. Like I would
put down my fingers and go like, "Oh, ow," as Hannah and this woman are slamming
my hand down to flatten them. Poor Hannah and the woman, and my fingers are sliding
all over the place, they're not staying. The machine got one print, and then we
tried to do a new finger and it cancelled out the first print so we had to start over.
We are sweaty, it's getting hot.
And now it's been like ten minutes, we've been trying to do this for ten minutes.
And everyone else who was there was in and out in two minutes.
Yes.
Hannah's process took thirty seconds.
Yeah.
So we're not getting it, and we're not getting it, and I am getting really frustrated.
So I said, "What will we do if we can't get it?" And the agent was like, "Well, I
could put a note in here that you don't have hands or fingers, or some of
your fingers."
The only thing they could do is there was a box to check that said, "Doesn't have hands."
Yeah, and I was like, "Is that going to affect me?" And she didn't really know,
or think it would.
She didn't know, yeah.
But that was a last resort. So we kept trying and after a while we were like,
"Alright, let's try to move the box, put that even more closer."
Yeah, "Can we get one of your hands? Try the other hand, see if we can just
get one of them and then I can say, only has one hand."
Yeah. Nope. Failed all around.
It was fifteen, maybe twenty minutes of trying the hands. And finally she was
like, "Okay, we're just gonna check off no hands."
Yeah, and we're all drenched with sweat, she is covered in my hand sweat. I feel so
embarrassed, even though I know it's not my fault, but this is ridiculous and I
am in pain and looking ridiculous. And it wasn't even the worst of it.
Now we had to do my photo, so I said, looking at the camera area, "Um..."
Can I describe the camera area?
Yeah, yeah.
So this office was very small, like you walk in, there's a narrow area with
one chair, and then there's the desk, and then there's the TSA agent.
So you're facing each other, and to take the photo you move the chair out of the
way and stand where that is. So it's about a 24 inch space. Shane cannot pull his
wheelchair in and turn in that tiny of an area.
But I tried.
Yeah, you tried.
I tried backing in for about ten minutes.
Yep, and you got in there kind of, but then when he raised up he was still
below the frame.
And I was like, "Oh, well just aim the camera down a little bit." And she said,
"Unfortunately, the cameras are permanently mounted in this position.
I have no ability to adjust the camera height." I couldn't believe it.
I was like, okay, so I just went through 30 minutes of pain getting my hands
to work and now I'm gonna be stopped by this camera not being moveable.
You can't adjust the camera at all.
And there was no option, they literally were like, "We cannot move the camera
at all." So what we had to do, to finish this process...
This is ridiculous.
Shane had to back all the way out again, I had to take him out of his wheelchair.
I had to get a stool, put it there, put my knee on it and sit him on my knee
like a puppet.
Like a puppet. I balanced on Hannah's knee, Hannah had to lean.
And I couldn't be in the photo.
Yeah, she had to lean out of the way.
H: So you were really trying to balance hard. S: I was flopping around.
My neck was flopping, I looked really weird. So I'm sitting on her knee
precariously, thank goodness it didn't end in an injury, how easy it would've
been for Hannah to not be capable of holding me in that position.
Or if Hannah slipped or if I slipped off her knee. So we got the photo.
Again, we're drenched in sweat.
And you were a little bit low, and she's like, "I hope they accept this."
And I was like, "I cannot physically get him any higher."
It was 45 minutes, the whole thing.
And at that point, at the end of that, I was like, "You know what? If it doesn't
work, I just won't do TSA Pre-check." And that is kind of horrible. It's just so
ridiculous that that experience was so horrible and inaccessible and embarrassing
that by the end of it I was like, "I don't care if I get TSA Pre-check."
Yeah.
I must've been their first wheelchair user ever in that office, because none of it was
made with a wheelchair user in mind.
Yeah.
(sighs)
And it's a government agency, like how do they not have the rules to be like, the camera
has to be able to take a photo at sitting height? I have no words for that.
What if I wasn't able to be lifted by Hannah?
Yep, like most people?
Like most people.
Like you're relatively small, imagine a adult typical sized person. I can't put a
normal sized person on my knee, like what?
We would have five TSA agents hoisting me up in the air.
We would not have been able to do it.
"Maybe if we hang him from the ceiling..." Geez.
Again, all the employees were mortified and so apologetic. They weren't the ones
that made this office.
They didn't build it.
So we're in no way upset at them, but TSA, you need to get your pre-check verification
offices figured out in terms of accessibility.
Uh huh, oh my god.
Oh, I was approved for TSA Pre-check.
Yeah, approved saying that you had no hands and half of your face showing.
So now when I go through airports I have to hide my fingers, "Don't look."
They're gonna be like, "Are those hands?"
"Are those pointers?" (both laugh)
Ugh, so that's our embarrassing experience, thankfully we were able to laugh about
it afterwards, but for the rest of that day I was in a bad mood.
Yeah.
I was like, "I feel like I've been dehumanised, you know?"
Yeah, literally. Terrible.
Let's make our world more accessible.
Yep.
Alright everyone.
Bye.