there's a pretty serious mental health issue that you're probably struggling
with and you don't even realize it and the problem is is that this is affecting
your relationships with people around you and there's something you can do
about it and this mental health issue is called black-and-white thinking what is
up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is
all about helping you out with your mental health so if you would like to
improve your mental and emotional well-being make sure you subscribe and
hit that notification bell but this is a video that I've had planned for a long
time and I've been waiting for the right opportunity to do it and right now with
all of the drama going on in the YouTube world as well as in pop culture in
general there is no better time than now to talk about black and white thinking
now some of you might have heard of this okay
black and white thinking which is also known as splitting is a symptom of a
mental illness called borderline personality disorder and if you ask
anybody who has borderline personality disorder about their black and white
thinking and how it affects their relationships they can tell you how
awful it is but they're one step ahead of you because they actually acknowledge
it now hold up hold up hold up I'm not saying that you have BPD but what
fascinates me about BPD is that a lot of people have one or maybe two of these
symptoms in order to have BPD you need something like five or six of the
symptoms or more to be diagnosed but so many people have symptoms of it and they
don't realize it and any of these symptoms can really hurt you okay so I
think it's important that we talk about it now what is black and white thinking
it's in here like dude quit rambling so black and white thinking or splitting is
when you have a person in your life right or you see a person and they're in
one of two categories they are all good or they are all bad and this can be very
harmful to relationships say for example it's your mom you
love your mom your mom gave birth to you she does everything for you all sorts of
stuff she is just the best person on earth but then your mom does something
that you don't like that you disagree with she didn't give you that thing that
you wanted now she has gone from this perfect person over to this other
category and she is the worst most terrible awful person okay same thing to
be with your boyfriend your girlfriend you're so loving caring affectionate all
these other things but one day they do something and they've gone from the best
person you know to the worst person you know okay and this type of thinking
where people are in one of two categories at any given moment
it hurts relationships because we get we had this emotional outrage and these
outbursts and we just lash out but like what's crazy to me and I call it black
and white society right because we see this happening all over the internet so
like if you've been keeping up with any of the drama going on with the Beauty
influencers but it's also something interesting if you look at like James
Gunn or other people who have been taken down by a tweet or some tweets from
their past and it just fascinates me these are people with massive followings
a ton of fans I love you so much thank you for the art that you put out thank
you for helping me when I'm bored or just want to be entertained or thank you
for helping me learn how to apply my makeup or which beauty products are the
best thank you so much and then it's like oh you did what you are the worst
person on the planet like I still have this sign up right behind me that just
says empathy and my this is something that I've struggled with for a very long
time and I couldn't I didn't have healthy relationships with people people
were either all good or all bad and like it made me very lonely and made me very
angry because I was constantly pushing people away because I couldn't see that
gray area and like something I just want you to think about is if this is
affecting you like how do we get in that gray area and like this empathy like how
would I want to be treated you know what I mean like I am more forgiving than
most and the reason being is I have a terrible past if you followed me on my
channel for a while or if you're new here and you've been binge watching some
of my content you get little bits and pieces of my story and
the things I've done to other people and her people like I worked really hard to
be forgiven so it's not fair of me to not forgive others you know what I'm
saying but the reality is is that we need to realize that people are not all
good or all bad in most scenarios sure there are the outliers the people who
are purely evil but we can't keep classifying people by like specific
instances good people can do bad things okay just because a person did a bad
thing does not mean they're a bad person and this is also something like you
might be struggling with it with yourself too you might look at yourself
in a black-and-white way right you might think that you're all good or all bad
you are not a bad person maybe you did a bad thing but you're not
a bad person you know how I know that because you feel guilty about it you
feel a little bit of shame okay if you have a conscience about something you
get clearly you're not because something inside of you knows that that thing was
wrong and the great thing is is like that guilt that is an internal alarm
system going off that says you need to do better you need to be better so like
it breaks my heart just seeing how I there's these like social media mobs
that just go after and attack people for stuff they did like we need to give
people a chance and I'm not gonna get into a huge rant in this video but like
when I see people judging all these apologies and stuff and I know I make
videos on how to apologize but I've seen a few apologies lately that seem pretty
legit and I'm just sitting there was actually talking with my girlfriend
today I'm like I wonder what people would have wanted to hear like what
would have been satisfactory to them like if there was a checklist of how to
apologize what would be on that list maybe that'll be a fun experiment man
down in the comments below because I've been watching and I've seen people do it
one way and still get backlash I've seen people do it another way
it's just lose-lose but in most scenarios we got to speak louder with
our actions rather than words and to be honest nobody's gonna be forgiven by the
way they have to prove with actions I really hope you guys are
subscribed to my channel because about seven or eight months ago I did a video
about Logan Paul after that whole forest incident and I was like yo we got to see
if he's gonna change and I have some thoughts about that we've given him some
time and we got to talk about did he change did you learn something anyway is
black and white thinking can really screw up our relationships and like this
isn't just about like you freaking out and unfollowing somebody or
unsubscribing for somebody it's not like how is this affecting your relationships
with your parents with your friends with your family with your significant other
with your children how is it affecting you in those ways like we really got to
start thinking about this stuff and working on our mental health so we can
build healthier relationships learn how to forgive people and learn that hey
people screw up but you know we need to forgive them for their past and see if
they can grow into a better person yeah it sucks that sometimes people have to
lose hundreds of thousands of subscribers to really get that kick in
the butt but if we don't hit some kind of rock bottom we're never going to
change so I'm glad that some of these people are going through these scenarios
and I will be keeping track of them to see if they actually learn from this and
improve as a person all right but something else I want to talk about down
in the comments below do you struggle with black and white thinking let's have
a conversation all right but that's all I got for you so if you like this video
please give it a thumbs up and if you're new to my channel again feel free to
subscribe ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos to help
you out with your mental health and a huge thank you to everybody supporting
the channel over on patreon you helped me on a daily basis spread a message of
hope to people all right so anyways you watch I got some more content you can
click or tap right there that's all I got thanks again for watching get rid of
your black and white thinking and I'll see you next time