Today i am reacting to a couple who decides to get a vasectomy well i mean
the guy's the one that gets the vasectomy
hello child free friends serving a 156 at desk four i know this is very confusing
that was my husband sean and we're getting a vasectomy today
we're currently at the hospital this should take just a few minutes oh my goodness i'm nervous for
her i've like just started this video my palms are like actually kind of sweaty i don't know
surgeries and things always get me kind of oh you know worked up a little bit even though i'm not
the one in the surgery i'm always like oh my goodness i hope everything goes okay
it was like a minor thing like when they give you the local anesthetic they said it
will feel like a rubber band snapping and it did i was like oh that's really cool but uh
they were talking to me we were talking boxing the whole time i guess when i think about people
coming out of surgeries i always assume they're going to be like wheeled out on a gurney and
they're gonna be like half asleep and looking all bleary-eyed but i mean he looks really normal he
looks happy actually which is a good thing it's a very good thing you're just never sure when people
say surgery because as a physio i've gotten to go into operating rooms and watch a whole bunch
of different kinds of surgeries and a vasectomy is not quite as invasive as getting like a hip
or knee replacement hi we're back we're back home sean is finishing his work day in the other room
answering emails he drove home and we even stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things
and he's doing great the procedure lasted a total of 10 minutes and the total cost was 1560 his
insurance cover 360 so out of pocket we had to pay 1200 obviously it was a pretty short surgery so i
guess that is a chunk of money but that actually doesn't seem too bad overall i was expecting like
a much larger bill here in canada tubal ligations and vasectomies are basically covered for most
people there's always you know some exceptions shawn and i have been together for 10 years
and married for seven i wanted to talk about our experience and share our point of view because i
don't see a lot of people on social media talking about this and my views on parenthood have nothing
to do with you if you're a parent i don't judge people who have kids i don't think about people
who have kids i understand why she's giving a disclaimer but honestly she shouldn't have to give
a disclaimer i think that both camps of people whether you have kids or don't have kids you
should just be mutually respecting of the other person and what they're choosing to do and just
because you don't have kids doesn't mean you're like against people who have kids i don't know
that's just a strange notion to me we have been together for 10 years and for 10 years we have had
this recurring conversation about having children and from the beginning we didn't see eye to eye
at first i didn't want to have children and sean did and then someone in the middle after years of
being together our opinions reversed and then we went through a period where we did want to
have kids and we were excited about the prospect of becoming parents this probably is the reality
for a lot of people yes some of us just grow up and know that we don't want kids and we never
change our minds but i think there are a lot of people that are kind of on the fence or they
go back and forth between the two decisions or maybe they just don't know what they want and i'm
really glad she's mentioning that because i think that's going to be relatable to a lot of people
but in the last two three years we have both realized that it's not for us there is a part
of my life that i don't get to share on social media and that is that i am an aunt i am an auntie
to 12 nieces and nephews from the ages one and a half to mid twenties oh my goodness yeah that's
a lot of nieces and nephews i mean okay wait a second okay i have 10 and possibly more coming
so i guess you know i'm not that far behind but i love being able to spend some time with kids
but then you know send them back home children are and have been a part of our lives pretty much from
the beginning and we love our nieces or nephews and and we love the role that we get to play
in their lives i think as someone who doesn't have kids i've been able to have the time and i've
invested the time into forming those relationships with my nieces and nephews having children
is something that we have navigated for a very long time and this was the first time where we
fully agree on the same idea and that idea was to go into our 40s
with financial stability and freedom and and the dreams of new possibilities the fact that
they were just patient and talked about it and waited until they were both on the same page
to make a decision i think that's a really mature way of making a decision to whether or not you're
going to have kids imagine that people want to know if our families are supportive our families
are supportive of over life choices i mean we're grown adults we're in our late 30s
but i know that they're they're going to be sad everywhere we go every gathering we've had people
always comment on how beautiful our children will be and how we would be great parents because
how smart we are and you know that's just something that comes with the territory those
are never reasons to have a kid it doesn't matter how good looking you are or how smart you are
i mean you still have to actually raise the child and i think that's the hard part of having a kid
is being a parent and being there full-time for your child family members are absolutely allowed
to feel upset or sad that we're not having kids but i think the right thing to do is be respectful
of an adult that's making a decision even if it's a decision that you don't understand or agree with
well i regret it i don't know i think that is just part of life when you make certain decisions
you just have to live with the possibility of dealing with regret in the future but i think
it's better to regret not having children than regret having them and a lot of people are not
very upfront about that why are people so scared of regret i mean we've all made decisions that
we regret at some point or another and we just carry on with life i mean you can't go back and
change the decision that you made but you can move forward and still experience a happy and
wonderful life thinking that you might have a possible regret in the future about not having
kids is definitely not a reason to have a kid like i said i've been around i'm around children
all the time and i take my hat off to parents because i know that parenthood is is very hard
and it's very difficult i've also seen from an outside perspective what children do to a marriage
and this might be a little bit of a hot take but that is something that we seriously considered
there's also that we love our lives we love what we have the relationship that we have
worked so hard to build and for us the risk of of what being parents will do to a relationship
just for the sake of being parents was not something that we were willing to compromise
i a thousand percent agree with everything she just finished saying put a lot of effort into
making our marriage a really good one and why would i want any of that to change now obviously
that's never been a reason that i didn't have kids i just didn't have kids because i don't want
them i've had several of my friends come to me and tell me that their marriages are really struggling
because they've had kids i can see how having kids would really it would test a marriage 100 and i
have no interest in that and i know that that is that is spicy that's gonna be a hot take but yeah
say it it's true it's my life i'm just sharing my experience and why i came to this decision i love
kids i love my nieces and nephews they are they're like my friends and i love the relationship that
we have built with them if i had my own kids there was no way i would spend the amount of time i do
with my nieces and nephews because you know what i wouldn't have time obviously not every childhood
person has to spend time with their nieces and nephews but that is a way that we get to give back
because people are always like oh my goodness you don't give back you're such a selfish person but
it's very unselfish to spend time with other people's kids under no obligation any extra
mentorship or friendships that we can give to kids is probably a massive bonus because let's
be honest it's a crazy crazy world out there i'll tell you what i told my mom we have thought about
this long and hard and one of the things that we continue to agree on as we discuss the possibility
of having children was the financial burden of having kids there was a quote i read the other day
that said you know what it doesn't matter just be a parent even if you don't think you can afford it
you'll find a way but let's be honest i mean there are so many financial responsibilities when you
have a child and to just assume everything will fall into place and that you don't really have to
plan i think it's actually i don't know can i say you're responsible because that's kind of how i
view it it's like any other big huge financial decision that you're going to make you make sure
that you are ready to make that decision that you're prepared when i was younger i wanted to
have kids very young i mean i grew up in a culture where people were having kids in high school and
quickly after graduating high school i knew that if i was going to be a parent
i was going to be a parent later in life because everybody i saw around me struggle they struggle
with being parents and being young parents i take my hat off to parents it is a thankless
job that is very very difficult i could not even remotely imagine getting pregnant in high school
like i knew a girl that got pregnant i think when she was 14 and another one that got pregnant
when she was 16. i don't know i just feel like childhood lasts for such a short amount of time
that you should just enjoy being a child because once you're an adult
and you have all the responsibilities of the adulting world you can't ever go back
and enjoy the carefreeness that you had when you were a kid her parents were super
supportive of her choice to not have kids but these grandparents are absolutely not
supportive of their son in fact they are suing him because he is not giving them a grandbaby