(Clip) With Bulbasaur as his newest Pokemon
(Mark) Barely earned.
(Clip) Ash and friends are making their way triumphantly
to Vermilion City.
...Aren't they?!
(Adam) Ugh!
(Mark) Aren't they?! (Adam) What do you think that narrator looks like?
(Mark) Wilford Brimley.
(Clip) Hey Ash, take a look at this thing!
(Adam) Um...
Use your Pokedex!
(Adam) If you really want... (Mark gasping)
(Mark) It's a baby.
(Adam laughing)
(Clip) A Charmander!
(Adam) I think that's supposed to be a colon and not a dash.
(Clip) [Pokedex: A flame burns on the tip of its tail from birth. It is said
that a Charmander dies if its flame ever goes out.]
(Mark) Good I hope so.
(Adam) I like how that's all he has to say about the Pokemon.
The Pokedex is like 'Here's how it dies'!
'It is said that a Pikachu dies if you shoot a bullet through its brain.'
(Adam) Hey it's this shot. Again.
(Adam laughing)
It's very versatile.
(Adam) No background. (Mark) No!
(Mark) Don't touch me.
(Clip) Hold on a minute. Take a look
at the flame on its tail.
(Adam) He's dying!
(Mark) Ah!
(Mark) Charr...
(Clip) Ash, try the Pokeball one more time.
(Adam) Misty, get Staryu to extinguish his flame.
(Mark) Sit on it.
(Mark) Aarrgggh!
(Clip) Sure has a lot of spunk.
(Mark) Don't say 'Charmander' and 'spunk' in the same sentence.
(Adam) Yeah...
(Mark laughing)
(Mark) I've been to Fur Affinity.
(Clip) Charr..
(Adam laughing)
(Adam laughing) (Mark) Charr.. Charr
(Mark) Charr
(Adam) So that voice actor is the director of
all the Pokemon movies. Or at least
the English versions.
(Clip) Pikachu says Charmander's waiting on that rock
for somebody to come and get it!
(Clip) You mean it belongs to somebody?
(Clip) I think we better leave it.
(Charmander cries quietly)
(Mark) Buh!
(Mark) Ahh..
(Adam) Why?!
(Adam) Why?! (Mark laughing)
This is abuse!
It's gonna die!
(Mark still laughing)
(Adam) That's all the information we got
about this Pokemon this episode!
'It is said that it will die!'
(Clip) What's wrong? (Mark) Just keep thinking about that goddamn Charmander.
(Clip) I don't think Charmander would wait around this long.
Do you?
(Mark) He's not a dumb dog!
(Clip) Its trainer must've gotten it by now.
(Chuckling)
(Adam and Mark chuckling)
(Adam) Ah!
(Mark) Suure!
(Clip) Yo! I thought you had a Charmander too!
Yeah (Mark) Yeah! Fuckin hell
That puny thing was so weak
It couldn't even beat the weakest opponents!
(Mark laughing)
(Mark) This is worse than when we make fun of Cockney accents.
(Clip) I finally got rid of it by promising I'd come back for it.
(Adam) Why don't you train it?!
Why don't you sell it?
(Clip) It's probably still there waiting for me.
(Mark) I told that dumb Charmander I was gonna pop down
to the shop, get me some Vegemite and a Vitamin Water
(Adam) He's not even Australian. (Mark) And I never come back!
(Mark laughing) (Adam fake laughing)
(Adam) It's gonna die!
(Clip) That Charmander is still waiting for you!
(Clip) Why should I?
(Clip) If its tail flame goes out,
It'll die.
(Adam) Ooooh! (Merk) It'll DIE.
(Clip) Do what he says!
(Clip) What'd you say, nerd?
(Adam) I thought he was gonna say the other 'N' word...
(Mark) (Having a seizure)
(Adam) Seriously, i don't know why i-
it just seemed like that was gonna happen.
(Mark) What'd you say, nigga?
(Adam) We're not keeping that.
(Mark laughing in the background)
(Mark) Not keeping that!
(Adam) We're not.
(Clip) Let's go!
(Clip) Let's break it up.
(Mark) What'd you just say?
(Clip) They have a very bad reputation.
(Adam) Wuh!
(Adam) He has a boner.
(Adam) I've got a really bad reputation
right now!
(Adam) I've gotta hide my reputation!
(Mark) Oh no!
(Mark laughing)
(Mark) He's gonna get bullied!
(Adam) AhhhhHH...
(Mark) AHH!
(Mark laughing)
(Adam) They're very wild!
(Mark) Oh!
(Adam) To be honest.
(Mark) Their wild level is very.
(Clip) Knock it off!
(Adam) Ahhhh!
(Mark) Uhhh!
(Mark) You damn birds!
(Adam) They are bullies.
(Clip) Oh no!
The flame on its tail is almost out!
(Adam) Help!
(Clip) Let's get it to the Pokémon Center.
(Mark having another seizure)
(Both) Cover the tail!
(Mark laughing)
(Mark) Jesus Christ!
(Adam) Brock you idiot!
(Clip) Who's that Pokémon?
(Mark) Well,
(Adam) Oh shit!
(Mark) Pretty fucking easy.
(Adam) Oh hey! Its
Bendan Fraser's acting carer.
(Mark laughing)
(Mark) *Gasp!*
(Adam) Oh!
(Clip) Huh?
(Adam) Dat sound effect.
(Adam) He died twice.
(Both laughing)
(Clip) That's the spirit Charmander!
(Mark) That's the spirit Charmander!
(Mark) Look at ass!
(Adam laughing)
(Clip) Charmander has disappeared from the ER!
(Clip) I bet it went back to
that rock
to wait for Damion.
(Adam) Shoulda tied him up!
(Clip) We can't force Charmander to come with us if-
(Adam) Charmander's in love with Damion.
(Mark) But have you seen Damion?
(Mark) Can you blame him?
(Clip) To protect the world from devastation!
(Clip) To unite all peoples within our nation!
(Clip) To denounce the evils of-
(Mark) Oh my god!
(Adam) SHE'S NOT WEARING ANY FUCKING PANTIES!
(Mark) Oh my god she has a huge pussy!
(Mark laughing)
(Clip) Hey!
Here they come now!
(Mark) But they can't see us!
(Mark) And the giant machine.
(Adam) Oh!
(Mark) My god.
(Adam) My questions are answered.
(Clip) Wohaaauh!
(Adam) Uh.
(Clip) You have to be a
rocket scientist
to outsmart US!
(Sick Joke)
(Mark) *Tst*
(Mark) Woooo.
(Clip) Pikachu!
(Adam laughing)
(Mark) I sensing some danger!
(Adam) You have a bird pokémon.
(Mark) Yeah...
(Adam) You have a bird pokémon that can fly.
(Clip) What is THAT thing?
(Adam) It's a Pokémon you retard.
(Clip) Team Rocket plays rough!
(Adam) I like 'em rough!
(Adam) I'm in an abusive relationship remember?
(Mark giggling)
(Clip) Ahhh!
(Mark laughing)
(Mark) They jumped over the hole! (Adam) It'd be funny if their hair fell off.
(Mark) Fockin' 'ell blimey!
(Clip) Charmanda beat them?
(Adam) I changed me mind!
(Mark) Charmander's pretty OP!
(Clip) Hey Charmanda,
bin lookin' all ova for ya.
(Adam) Charmanda? (Mark laughing)
(Adam) Charmanda.
(Adam) Where's he from?
(Mark) Livapool.
(Adam and Mark laughing)
(Clip) Damion you bragged about how you abandoned it!
(Clip) Good thing I did,
that toughened it up!
Besides,
what's wrong with dumpin' off a weak Pokémon?
(Clip) da...
(Adam) UH!
(Mark giggling)
(Clip) I wasn't gonna come back for it
but now that i've
seen what it can do, (Adam wheezing)
I'm real glad I ran into you guys.
(Adam) Wow.
(Clip) Char...
(Adam) Ahh...
(Clip) Charmanda,
(Mark) Chermender.. (Adam) Charmanda!
(Mark) Uh!
(Mark) Ber!
(Mark) Arghh!
(Adam) Woooow.
(Adam) He's dead!
(Adam laughing)
(Clip) I'll crush you with every Pokémon I've got!
(Mark) AHHHH
(Mark) Oh my god!
(Adam) He's dead.
He's actually dead.
(Adam) You know what's the funniest part about this?
(Adam) The extreme difference between how Charmander acts towards Damion,
and how Charmander winds up acting towards Ash by the time he's Charizard.
(Adam) Like the most loyal Pokémon in the world to this guy,
and then to Ash he's like
'Ah fuck you, you don't know how to train me, you don't have enough badges!'
(Adam) What a dick.
(Mark) Yeah.
(Mark) I hate to say it but you shouldn't of saved him.
(Clip) Come on Charmander,
Welcome to the group!
(Clip) Char!
(Mark) Char Char!
(Mark) I love it! (Adam) Ah..
(Mark) Take me!
(Adam) Aah!
(Mark) Ah!
(Adam) It like, clamps closed while he's half way through like,
Aah!
AAHH!
(Clip) Maybe getting lost isn't so bad after all!
Especially when you're lost with your friends.
(Clip) Of course,
finding your way with your friends,
Is even better!
(Adam) Finding your way friends is even better Mark.
(Adam) Finding your way friends is even better Mark. (Mark) Mmmm.