• From eating too many fruit and veggies, to dying from sadness, we answer some of your
most burning questions about life • Hey there, my name is Doopie, I'll be
reading out the questions and answers.
• I’m Hellbent and I’m here… to do whatever it is that I do.
I don’t even know anymore.
• That’s really the best you could do?
• Who – who said that?
Is that you, God?
• I’m Doopie, the co-host?
I mean I literally just introduced myself.
• You’re God?
Holy crap, I’m reading a script with GOD!
• *sigh* 10 – agentkracko Is it possible to eat too
many fruits and vegetables?
• It may be possible, but that won’t happen.
All fruits and vegetables belong to me.
Hey – wait a second, are you eating one of my apples?
• *crunch*...What?
No.
I bought it from the store.
• I want it.
• But I’ve almost finished eating it—! • If you don’t give it to me you can have
fun doing the rest of the show by yourself. • ...that’s ridiculous!
Ugh.
Fine.
• Yes, there isn’t a single type of food that you can’t eat too much of.
Of course this doesn’t necessarily mean that it will make you gain weight, although
starchy vegetables definitely can, it’s more that your body needs some variety in
its diet.
An interesting side effect of eating too many carrots, for instance, is that your skin turns
yellow.
9 – Tmorse425 What would happen if everywhere in the world formed into a single political
country?
• Well you’d need an amazing leader, someone with the ability to do anything they put their
mind to, someone with brilliant red skin, horns, a deep voice and sweet abs.
Now I’m not saying it should be me – actually that’s exactly what I’m saying, it should
definitely be me.
• Let’s assume that the individual states all follow pretty much the same rules then
we’d have a world without borders.
So you could go live anywhere you want without having to worry about a visa or passport.
Of course the downside would be that it’s way more easily corruptible, especially if
someone like Hellbent was in power.
• Pretty sure you’re just jealous of natural leadership skills.
• I really have no desire to see you in any position of power, not one bit.
• Well that’s fine, because Doopies won’t be allowed on my planet.
• Where’d you want me to go?
Mars?
• It’s really exciting how much I don’t care about what happens to you.
8 – Theepicgamingsquardron What would happen if our heart and brain switched places?
• Oh that’s easy, one time a homeless guy kept pestering me for money, so I took
him back to my workshop, swapped his thinker with his heart and he died pretty much instantly.
• Why on Earth would you do that?!
• I thought it’d be funny.
And it was.
• In all likelihood we could be less smart; the brain requires a lot of oxygen to be able
to work well and if the heart is no longer next to the lungs it wouldn’t be as efficient
at creating oxygen.
Not only that, but we’d probably be able to constantly hear our own hearts beat.
7 – Raging-Nick Can brains simulate pain in your dreams?
• Nope.
But guess who can give you that amazing one of a kind experience, with my all new revolutionary
service that makes dreams more immersive than VR, while also being slightly cheaper!
• * • Ow - why though?
I wasn’t even asleep, ya goon.
• That’ll be five dollars.
• Absolutely.
It’s not very common, but it can do so without much issue as it doesn’t even need to ‘simulate’
pain, it just needs to create it; the brain is why and how we feel pain.
Of course feeling pain in our dreams is completely useless, which is probably why it’s uncommon.
• What?
People feel pain in their sleep?
Yeah, right.
I want Melissa back.
How’d you even get on this show?
• You’re such a dumb stupid buttface. 6 – China 1122 What is the purpose of the
eye pattern on peacocks feathers?
• This happened because peacocks evolved over many thousands of years to see behind
them.
This process begins when the birds stuck their heads so far into their anal cavity that they
could see the sky.
If you start now, you too can look behind you.
• See Doopie?
Being a buttface has its advantages.
• At first you might think that it’s to scare off predators, but actually scientists
discovered that many different species of birds evolved this trait in order to attract
female mates.
It just turns out that female birds are attracted to eye-like shapes.
5 – Ladysunset494 If the ocean wasn’t salty, what would happen?
• Many different species of plants and animals will die out due to their absence from their
natural environment, including the whales that are SO endangered apparently.
My solution: drink sports drinks and pee the salt back into the ocean.
• Yes, many species would absolutely die out if we took all the salt out of the ocean,
not only that but the amount of salt in the water is enormous and we really don’t have
anywhere to put it.
Assuming we never had salty oceans to begin with, we’d have completely different types
of life, if any at all, as life as we know it depends on salt as a building block.
• Hellbent, that thing you peed into - that wasn’t the ocean.
It was a pool.
With children in it.
• * • Eww, gross.
It’s all over me.
• * 4 – PlanetDolanIsAPro How do the palaeontologists
get names for the Dinosaurs?
• Same way we all come up with names for things.
Fantasynamegenerators dot com.
• Well they’re generally named after either some distinguishing feature of the dinosaur,
such as triceratops meaning ‘Three Horned Head’ in Greek or they’re named after
where their bones are found, such as the Utahraptor.
Every now and then they’re named in honour of a special person, but that’s much less
common.
3 – Siberwar Is it possible to die from sadness?
• Pfft, only if you’re a gigantic wuss: oh boohoo my phone screen cracked; waaah someone
stole my apple; sniffle sniffle my parents just died; I’m sooo sad because of the holocaust.
Just shut up, no one cares.
• Yes actually, as emotions can either increase or decrease the production of important hormones
such as adrenaline.
Adrenaline has the effect of narrowing the main arteries, putting a person in a situation
where they may die of heart failure.
• You know you’re really mean, how would you like it if people were mean to you?
• Go for it.
• Alright I will!
You’re a stupid, mean doofus and I don’t know if I like you very much.
• Thanks, I try my best.
• You’re also lazy and mean— • My best features, yes—
• Grr, well alright then I’m going to touch your stuff and you can’t stop me.
• I will kill you and everyone you love with a rusty sippy cup.
• Um.
Please don’t?
• Alright.
It doesn’t have to be rusty.
2 – Queen Chelle How does hypnosis actually work?
• I’m actually pretty good at hypnotising, how do you think I got this job?
Wanna see?
• Yes, actually.
That sounds pretty cool…
but don’t hypnotise me!
• Wasn’t going to.
• * • You are feeling drowsy, you are falling
under my command, now that I control you, go to www.patreon.com/hellbent and donate
$1000 a month; or just send me your credit card, whichever works for you, I don’t care.
• In short, it works nothing like what you usually see on TV, in reality it’s just
a person entering a state of hyper-awareness, in other words you don’t become the hypnotiser’s
slave.
As to how it actually works?
Well, we don’t really know yet, but with more and more brain scanning we’re getting
closer.
1 – Alex N Is there any way to bring back an extinct species?
• No.
Once things die they stay dead like they damn well should, I mean look at this stupid hairy
elephant: how is it supposed to survive in hot-ass Africa or India?
Wait, I’ve got an idea.
• * • Why did you think that would work?
• Hey, I did my part.
Now give it CPR.
• Um.
Ew.
No?
• You know what your problem is?
You’re selfish.
• It’s definitely possible with the use of cloning, but we haven’t done it yet as
cloning animals is actually pretty difficult.
One of the biggest problems being that we can’t just grow the baby in a test tube,
we need to put it in a womb (or egg) of some kind and most extinct animals just aren’t
compatible with what’s currently alive.
• Sooo...why is your pee black?
• Magic.
• Pretty sure black pee is a sign of a rare disease, or cancer.
• Pretty sure that you’re a disease.
• Seriously?
That’s barely an insult.
• Hey!
It was great, everything I say is great, eat my —