well since I just made a video this morning about how I used to be a scumbag
and now somebody's accusing me of using my friend's death as a way to
emotionally manipulate my audience I guess right now is the perfect time to
do something I've been meaning to do for a long time which is make a very public
apology to Meghan tonjes what this is Chris from the rewiring soul when we
talked about the problem but focus on the solution and if you new to my
channel all about mental health mental health is growing as a person and not
being a dick anymore so that kind of stuff make sure you subscribe and bring
that notification back so yeah I'm going to share a little bit of a story time
with you and full disclosure a full disclosure this is something that
happened seven or eight years ago I have since apologized to Meghan tonjes a
couple times we've talked she's cool I'm cool and before making this video we
were actually talking in DM yesterday and I was just like yo I want to make
this video she's known I've wanted to make this video but I just wanted to
check in with her so that's what I'm going to do in this video alright so
those of you who don't know who Meghan tanjes says she is a creator on YouTube
she is like og youtuber all I used YouTube for was for music and cover
songs like fun fact about your boy Chris love covers so much when they're done
well and Meghan was just like the cover queen of YouTube
for mental health if you already so yeah
what is my motive for making this video
for a long time there was an audience where this video was justified for some
reason I don't think there's a large audience which is nuts because that's
huge that's really big from other person but I always think that people can grow
and change and what my motives for this video is just so you all know like I was
I wasn't always a good person you know what I mean what I'm what I'm giving
advice when I'm giving suggestions I'm teaching people on how do I grow and
improve their mental and emotional well-being it's because I've had to go
through a lot of this myself like this is a completely different
than who I used to be like I mentioned there's somebody on my other video I
just made about my friend passing away who's saying I'm emotionally
manipulating my audience and I empathize with that person so why am i babbling
let me get you into the story okay so yeah this was about seven or eight years
ago I was in my full-blown addiction drugs alcohol and most of my life I was
just a miserable miserable person and that's why I don't take the heart like
the hate comments I didn't it doesn't ruin my day because I know how miserable
I used to be like we're talking like friends hated me family hated me like my
son was born and I was an alcoholic and a drug addict Meghan tonjes
you know she has always been very independent with her music and you know
she started out with covers she started doing her own stuff but like it was a
big thing when she talked about like you know she was very independent well this
is back in the YouTube days where like people didn't get sponsorships like you
weren't getting sponsorships you weren't getting brand deals and Megan made a
video talking about some kind of dietary thing that she was trying out and like
promoting it and just I don't know like this is why I tell you guys like not
care about stuff that doesn't involve you like video like I think a week or
two ago about being a sellout or whatever and like I was just an idiot
like I am just like what was wrong with me so basically like something I did on
the internet a lot like I used to be just an angry person I had to let
everybody online know and this is that when YouTube was smaller and I wrote
Megan a very long terrible comment on her video just calling her a I was just
going off like like it's just awful and you know this is why I I'm sorry
Meghan tonjes just like you know I was dealing with so much hurt which isn't an
excuse but that's what happens that's why I teach you guys hurt people hurt
people right well anyways you know we we think
we think that when we're just sending stuff out into the void of the internet
tweeting out stuff making comments or whatever who's gonna see it maybe
they'll see it you know part of us wishes that they would see it part of us
doesn't write like I made a video about like Shane Dawson retweeting some people
well Megan actually saw my comment and she made a video her next video and is
still up on her channel I'm not gonna link it or provide clips but she was
crying in that video and like when you're in addiction it's such a weird
place because you feel terrible you know you're scum you know you're just being a
jerk you know just everything about you is terrible but you just you just keep
doing stuff so like I see Megan crying you know in this video talking about you
know my comment that I left and I'm just sitting there like what the hell is
wrong with me but it didn't stop me from still being a dick for a few more years
until I got clean and sober hell if I'm being honest I was a jerk for a couple
of years after I got sober too until I learned how to deal with my anger and my
rage and my issues in a better healthier way like that's something I want most of
you to know when people are like going off on you especially randoms online
like it's not about you like we booked me going off about Megan like that
wasn't about Megan like that wasn't about her that was me and my screwed up
terrible miserable life that's what it was about you know you know since then
I've put in a lot of work multiple videos like when these beauty gurus
apologize or people apologize like you can't just forgive somebody right away
Megan doesn't owe me any kind of acceptance of my apology something that
I learned is that when I went to Megan and I sincerely apologize to her
originally I did not expect her to accept it she could have told me to kick
rocks you know what I'm saying and like it's important that you know we we
realize that our actions speak louder than words like just because I got sober
doesn't mean I'm just automatically a good person I want
really really hard today to be a better person I mentioned this in my video I
did about Jake Paul being a scumbag like one of my primary goals today is to
cause as little harm to other people on this planet as possible every single day
right like just minimal damage you know that's why I keep my mouth shut
that's why I don't get into these crazy online arguments that's why I like man I
don't have time for that stuff anymore you know and I try to preach this stuff
about just being kinder and nicer and more empathetic to people but anyways I
don't know I hope this video helps some creators out there some people who might
be getting online hate like you're just being trolled by jerks like me you know
but I always think that people can grow and they can change I don't give up on
anybody at all I've worked in drug and alcohol treatment for the last few years
and I've seen people come back into treatment a dozen times and next thing
you know they've been sober for two years you know I don't give up hope on
anybody so that's why I'm a little on top on some of these people making their
public apologies you know I think that they can't change if they have that
willingness to change by the way any who have been following the Thomas halbert's
saga on my channel you did receive that book so hopefully he reads it hopefully
if he starts getting better as well but again go check out Megan's channel
she actually just did a video like a really really powerful video about how
she just started therapy like oh my god like y'all think my channel oh I was
watching make it on my damn like it was inspiring I hope I hope some of you who
are worried about like opening up about your feelings and your trauma or
whatever go watch Megan's video that woman just
like put a video up like with her messages to her therapist to hundreds of
thousands of subscribers like what so when you're wondering like how I
come on here and do it it's because the people like making inspiring me alright
so again being making it cool now she knows I'm I'm sorry yeah that's all I
got like I want to hear from you in the comments below have you have you changed
it used to be an awful terrible mean person what have you done to work on it
how do you control that today alright let's have a conversation down in the
comments below alright anyways that's all I got with this video if you like
this video please give it a thumbs up if you new make sure you subscribe and
bring that notification bell and huge thank you to everybody supporting the
channel over on patreon you're all amazing and again there is a link to
meghan torjussen right there go check it out go subscribe
show us some love go tweet at your hashtag chris is sorry whatever you got
to do alright thanks again for watching be a little nicer today and I'll see you
next time