When people talk about the differences between two cultures,
they usually mention religion,
cuisine,
the pace of life,
holidays and festivals,
or polite behavior in public places.
All of these things are really interesting,
but cultures also have a lot of less obvious differences that few people think of,
unless they actually spend some time living in that culture.
For example, in Asia, people sing karaoke in private rooms with their friends,
but in the West, people sing karaoke in an open room for the whole bar to hear.
Doing it that way is normal for me, but it seems weird to you guys, right?
And the opposite is true for me.
I want to share with you 10 things that are considered normal in Vietnam,
but would be considered strange where I'm from.
Here's the first one.
"Belly display"
Ok, if you're male, and you're out drinking your tra da on a hot day like today, what do you do to keep cool?
This, right?
Well, not where I'm from.
I've seen Chinese men in Malaysia* doing it, and I've seen men here in Vietnam doing it, *Never been to China in the summer.
but nowhere else.
It doesn't really make sense to me, either, as a way of keeping cool.
Like, on a hot day, the parts of my upper body where I most want relief
are my neck, my armpits, and my chest.
But my belly?
Never!
"Constant phone calls"
Something you should know about people my age and younger in America, the UK, and so on
is that we hardly ever call each other on the phone.
It's all texts.
But don't just take it from me. Listen to this real movie character.
It's Doug 'Shmoog' McQuaid.
Oh, hey man.
So weird that you're calling me.
I pretty much text except for when a random old relative calls.
See?
We'll call each other if there's something long and complicated we need to talk about,
but if we're just inviting someone out, or sharing some news, or asking a simple question,
texts, texts, texts.
Vietnamese people, on the other hand, call about all kinds of stuff.
Are you up yet?
Have you eaten yet?
Have you gone to the bathroom yet?
There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different habit.
But it's a habit you might want to consider changing if you're, say, trying to make friends with a Westerner.
Because if you call a lot about things that could have been handled in a text message,
they'll find it very strange, and you might jump right to the top of their list of annoying people.
"Iced beer"
So imagine you're about to eat, and you want to have some beer with your meal,
but the beer's not cold yet.
What do you do?
Put some ice in it!
In America? Never.
Ice in beer?
People will look at you like you're crazy.
Over there, if you want to drink some beer and it's not cold yet,
you put it in the freezer, and you wait.
"the Viet siesta"
Ok, we need to be quiet, because there are people sleeping in that house.
Any time I go eat lunch with a Vietnamese family, I always get the same question after the meal ends:
You're not taking a nap, Dan?
Nope.
Pretty much no one where I'm from does.
It's really only countries with hot climates that have that custom, because the middle of the day is just . . .
murderous.
So, yeah, stay inside and sleep.
But where I'm from, aside from, say, July and August,
the middle of the day is often the best time to be outside.
So why would you sleep through it?
I remember being really surprised when I first started teaching here,
and in lessons about daily routines, students would tell me that in the morning,
they would wake up,
wash their faces,
and brush their teeth.
Wait, what?
Where I'm from, that sequence always includes "eat breakfast" before "brush teeth."
I think the reason for this difference is that Americans almost always eat breakfast at home,
but Vietnamese people usually go out for breakfast, and then go straight to work or school after that.
So if you don't brush your teeth before breakfast, you won't get a chance to brush them at all.
So I understand where the Vietnamese habit comes from, but I still can't get behind it.
For one thing, part of the reason we brush is to clean those bits of breakfast out of our teeth.
And also, if you brush before you eat, your mouth is still all minty and numb from the toothpaste,
and the food just doesn't taste right.
Seriously, try eating breakfast at home and brushing after.
It's better.
"Hand-shaking" (literally, that is)
Here's a short one:
This gesture.
It can mean many different things.
In a shop, it could mean: "We're sold out."
In a class, it could mean: "No idea."
And what does it mean where I come from?
Nothing.
"Extra classes"
A lot of my students have asked me:
How can I say "đi học thêm" in English?
I'm not really sure.
I mean, there are things you could say, like "go to extra classes,"
but there's not really an established phrase in English for "đi học thêm," because we just don't do that.
From grades one through twelve, I went to school for six hours a day, Monday through Friday,
and that was it for classes.
Most Americans probably wouldn't find it too strange
that Vietnamese students often go to extra classes for English,
but they would definitely find it strange that Vietnamese students often go to extra classes for . . .
everything.
Math,
physics,
chemistry,
biology,
literature.
It kind of raises the question:
are they learning anything in school?
"Test time"
Of course, I know one of the reasons you guys "đi học thêm"
is because so often you're preparing to "đi thi."
Man, you guys have to take tests at every stage of your lives:
to get into a middle school,
to get into a high school,
to get into a university,
to get a job,
to keep that job.
It's not like that in America.
Sure, for college we take the SAT or the ACT,
but then we just send those results out to every school we want to apply to.
We don't take a different test for each one.
And tests to get into lower levels of school?
Never.
I went to this elementary school, because, like all the other students at that school, it was near my house.
Then I went to this middle school, because the school district had decided
that students from my elementary school would go to that middle school.
And they had decided that students from that middle school would go to this high school,
so that's where I went.
In each case I had no choice, and no entrance test.
"Peeling apples"
So, first, you need to remember that I'm from Washington State,
which produces 70% of apples in the US.
Some of them even make it to Vietnam.
So I know a thing or two about apples, and when I came to Vietnam, I was amazed to see people peeling them.
I mean, Vietnamese people and Americans can agree on peeling most things:
Mangos? Sure, peel them.
Papayas? Yeah, of course.
But apples?
The peel is totally edible, guys.
And, what's more, most of the nutrition of an apple is in the peel,
so you're really missing out if you don't eat it.
And something related that's also weird to me is the way you guys actually peel fruit,
holding your index finger on the peel and pushing the knife blade away.
Most Americans would do the exact opposite,
holding their thumb on the peel and pulling the knife towards it.
My girlfriend has tried to teach me the Vietnamese way,
and I've tried to teach her the American way,
but we haven't made much progress.
"If only I looked younger . . ."
This one still amazes me:
very young people wishing they looked even younger. For example:
Truong, how old are you?
I am 16.
And how old do you wish you looked?
I wish Iooked . . .
13.
Totally the opposite in the West.
People that age, in their teens and early twenties, they want to look older.
If you tell a 14-year-old American girl that she looks 17, that's a compliment.
She wants to look older, more mature, more capable, more womanly.
She doesn't want to look like a kid anymore.
For us, it sort of follows a curve.
In our teens and early 20s, we want to look older.
In our late 20s and early 30s, we're pretty happy to look our real age.
And then, after that, we start to wish we looked younger.
But if you ever travel or live in the West,
don't tell an 18-year-old that he looks 15.
You'll ruin his day.
And maybe even his whole life.
Before I finish, I want to say thanks to Thuc Pham Tran Gia LHC for letting me film my fruit scene in their shop.
They sell a variety of high-quality fruits and other specialties from around Vietnam.
If you're in Hanoi, you can check them out at 95 To Hieu,
or on their website at thucphamtrangia.vn.