*Wapish* Top of the morning to ya laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to
boxing surgery simulator. So I've played a surgery simulator before,
this is not that. This is like a little indie game that people have made and I even like down at the bottom it says
that the brogramming was done by Scott Meyer and Michael Wilson and art-making by James Lloyd
I don't wanna leave James Lloyd out
He did a lot of stuff on this. Look at all the art making he did
So I don't really know what this is
It kind of reminds me of Rock'em Sock'em robots and some of the screens showed stuff when guys were all bloody
I don't know what I'm doing. Uhm
A Ponywolf Spectacular. Fredrick the Auspicious versus Sean the Beneficial
I'm Seán
That's me. I'm fighting. Let's do this
Okay. Oh god.
Punch?
Am I able to punch?
What is happening? Oooh I have to hit the things.
Alright, I have a sore tooth. Can I? Tooth.
Okay-oh I'm hurting my guy. I don't wanna hurt my guy. Band-aid. A band-aid on the thing.
What? What-what do I do? Oh shit. Okay. Open your good eye. No, no, no.
What are these doing?
Are these helping me? okay. Apparently I'm supposed to click these. I have no idea what's happening.
Uhm, I've sore teeth, I've blisters. Can I cut open the blisters?
Get out there-oh shit. No!
I've-what the fuck is this game? What are the controls?
Am I supposed to be clicking these things? Oh lollipop. Of course I use the lollipop on these.
Do use that on the ears? I don't know what I -glue. Glue the teeth. I broke the game. Game crashed. Game's ah fuck
Okay. Fight! Fight!
I'm-I'm gonna die. I'm done. I'm done-zo. Okay. Wham.
I'm out. *laughs* Oh my god. Sean the Beneficial died of broken nose.
What are the controls? I have no idea what I'm doing. Wha-who's fightin' now?
*announcer voice* As Relevant as Ever! Dustin the Equalizer vs. Lance the Cow
All right, pow.
Open your good eye. Defense defense. You are terrible.
Looking good. Why you box so bad? You smell weird. Make a meal out of him. Am I supposed to be doing those things?
Uhm-ice cream? No. Nothing worked, And my dude is gonna die. Ew I have to hook the blood?
Gross.
What can I use on-pffft. Fuckin fly in my room. Okay. Get out there. Let's see what happens. Punch punch. Punch punch. You got this!
Looking good!
Do gooder? I dunno hit him? Use squirrel-You're like a son to me. Smash and dash!
Ah, I'm kinda getting it. No! No! I clicked the ice cream.
Aah, fill his ear full of cotton. Okay, here we go. I'm still alive. Make a meal out of him.
You smell weird. I love you! Now, now, now! Get him.
Uh-You're like a son to me. You're a bu-I love you!
That gets my health to go back up. Telling someone you love them gets their health to go back up.
I love this game. It's so cute
Glue? Glue doesn't work on the teeth. The teeth?
The teeth did work on the teeth, it's just weird. I don't know what works on the humps and bumps on my head though.
All right. Let's get in there. Your got this. You're so pretty. you should have dodged. Open
your good eye. Crap. Make a meal out of him. Punch him, you got this. You call that a punch? You smell weird.
I'm being very nasty to my guy. Okay, fix your tooth.
No. Glue? No
Scalpel?
What works on these? Band-aid?
The band-aid works! Okay.
I got this. You got this! Use squirrel style kung-fu. Make a meal out of him. Way to go-hit him.
Try punching-do a barrel roll. Take a breath. My guy is surviving the dredges right now.
What? It says it's doing it and not doing it at the same time. It was literally doing the *imitates squishing noise*
sound and then it was also ugh. Lance the cow died of a broken heart.
Lance the Cow
*fake crying* That's so sad.
Okay.
I know I said it before.
But let's do this. Now, I know what I'm doing. As Relevant as Ever, Michael the Disastrous versus Lance the Spider.
*imitating Hulk Hogan* I got you for three rounds.
Uh-Defense defense. You smell weird. You smell weird. You're a bum. No. These are all-way to hit him
You should have dodged-these are all bad things to be telling him. Okay, ice cream goes on the owies.
There we go. The hook
goes on that, nice. And then the band-aid goes on *blows raspberry*
I fixed him! Except your eye, your eye's are bloody. Are you okay? Alright, come out there my son. Looking good.
You're terrible. Way to hit him. Now, now, now! No, no, no. Smash and dash. Why do you box so bad? Do a barrel roll!
Six to four, I did really good that time. Should send me back in coach.
What fixes your eye?
I don't know how to fix your eye. what fixes your-glue? No. Oh, I don't know the scalpels for yet.
Okay, punch punch. Do a barrel roll. Try punching! You should have dodged-open your good eye. My guy isn't even hurt.
I mean, he's kind of look a little like *imitates Sylvester Stallone* Adrienne!
But you're doing good fella, you're doing amazing, sweetie.
Ah, scalpel on the eye.
Get rid of those eyelids. You don't need them, keeping the eyes open.
There we go. Why do you box so bad-no. Do barrel roll. You're like a son to me!
Smash and dash. You're terrible? Do-gooder-er? Use squirrel style kung-fu! Hit him!
Aw, I didn't do - I didn't do too good that round, but the r in Jesus was not with me.
A beautiful bouncing baby boy ready to go out and beat the shit out of another boy.
Sh-you should have dodged. Way to hit him. You should have do-ah crap. That's crap. That's bad. Oh, but you're good at-shit that's bad as well. Now, now, now, hit him. Oh 5 to 9.
I thought Dolly Parton talked about 9 to 5.
Uhm, what else you got? Is that it? Are you good?
Uh, glue?
Oh no, band-aid, band-aid. Yes I got a little health back. Round 6, why is this guy dying?
Use squirrel style kung-fu. Defense defense.
You should have dodged. Looking good.
Oh no, I'm doing very, very badly.
Why am I not winning coach?
Coach, when will my team win the all-star cup? Coach, send me back in coach?
I'm ready coach send me back in. I'm gonna fight him. Smash and dash.
Block, why don't ya? Shit. Now, now, now! Get up! Try punching! Looking good!
Fu-I did real good that time. He took a monstrous beating.
Okay, sometime-
Something works in these stars.
The glu-oh it's all frozen, no. Give me back my boy. The glue works on the stars.
I didn't realize, I thought that that was just a state of being.
Defense defense.
No, not you're a terrible, I want to say you're looking good. Make a meal out of him now. Okay, okay glue.
Glues for youse. Glues for the stuff that you going throughs. We got this team. We got this team
We're gonna help this man. Looking good.
I don't know if opening up your good eye is it?
Lance the Spider,
Cool story bro. Do I always have to lose? Is that a thing?
That's just inevitable that I have to lose? Cause my boys are not doing too good, I'll tell ya.
Get back in there.
It's time, a Mutated Software Joint.
Don't ask. Barry the Cataclysmic versus Mattie the Desolating.
I want Matt the Earth Destroyer. Defense defense defense. Now now now!
Take a breath, take a breath. No, no, no. Now now now! Yeah looking good.
Oh my god, he's a fuckin beast.
Now I-I know exactly what each of the things do.
Now I know how to fix up my boy.
Look at you, looking good, son! Okay, round two. Take a breath. Okay. You're so pretty, take a breath!
Try punching. No, you're so pretty. Make a meal out of him!
Okay, at least my guy he knows that he's so pretty.
That's exactly what your boxing son needs to know. When he's going out there, and he's fighting for a king and country,
he needs to know that he's pretty.
Okay, get out there. Here we go. Here we go. Fight him, fight him. Defense defense.
Get-looking good. Okay, you should have dodged, but open up your good eye. Now now now!
You're like a son to me, defense. Okay, I get really into it, okay. When I see my boy up there, that's my boy.
That's my son.
When I see him out there, and he's fighting and he's doing the business. I just can't help but feel like I'm getting involved
That's me out there. I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve!
Do a barrel roll!
I love you like a son. You're like a father to me. But you're doing great, sweetie. You got this, looking good.
Now your fucking back up to full. You're back up to full, way to hit him!
Yes, 16 to 7 on that one.
I might actually get arrested for murder at the end of all this. All I got a few, like
blisters on me. Okay, the game keeps freezing. You're like a son to me. Take a breath.
*laughs* I'd love to consider him saying these out loud. You're like a son to me.
Take a breath, looking good. Do it son.
Okay
There's a lot to fix-I'm not gonna have enough time. I'm not gonna have enough time.
Oh, nailed it. I'm only at half health though.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, I'm not getting good ones. Now now now!
This game is bullsh-
Okay, so that was the desktop version of the game. Apparently there is a browser version of the game,
that is more frequently updated? I don't know. They said that the desktop version might not get updated.
So, let's see if the browser version is any different.
Dustin the Expedient versus Sean the Fatal. Let's *imitating wrestling announcer* let's get ready to rumble
Okay, let's tumble in the jungle. I'm playing as Sean now. There's only-you're so pretty. Defense defense. Smash and dash.
Uh, uh- squirrel style kung-fu. Okay, this version is actually way fucking slower to play. But.
What? Wh-oh that was fast. Okay, okay. Try punching. Why do you box so bad?
You shoulda do- you got this! You're like a son to me!
Okay, that was bad.
What do I need? This.
Are you fucking serious with that time?
The time goes down so quick. Make a meal out of him-use squirrel style kung-fu-looking good-do a barrel roll.
It seems to go down really fast at the end, Open your good eye- try punching-use squirrel style kung-fu. You got this, I love you!
You're like a son to me! Okay, I won that round. This is way faster. What's happening? Are you serious
with the speed of these rounds?
No! No, I was ticking the ear! You're like a son to me!
Oh dicks!
Sean the Fatal. Died of hurt feelings.
That's way too relatable. That's way too relatable-not cool game. Okay. Well that does it for this video on
Boxing surgery simulator. I feel like I yelled all the encouragement in the world that a good dad
should. I was-I was there. I was tell him he was a son to me.
I was tellin' him that he looked good, he was pretty. I didn't tell him he was terrible or smelled bad or smelled weird
I told him that he was fantastic.
And no amount of encouragement was helping him. So I don't know what to do. As always,
I will leave a link in the description for you guys to be able to go off and play this for yourselves.
Tell me one of you won this. Tell me one of you has been able to win this. The browser version of the game is
obnoxiously hard, I don't know why. But anyway, thank you guys so much for boxing this video with me. If you liked it
punch that like button in the face
LIKE A BOSS! And high punches all around PAPOOSH PAPOOSH. But thank you guys.
And I will see all you dudes, in the next video
A lot of punch analogies there at the end, really feeling good.