Once again, in the water should be a wave ten
of orange caps. Female 35 to 39 and all Athena.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six--
I like to pick huge goals that I could fail at.
That is what makes a goal interesting,
that, like, it's possible that I can't do this.
It's also possible that I can succeed.
As an athlete, I had never really seen
like what is it like for me to--
to try something that I'm not good at.
What is it like to lose and to, you know,
not have a chance at being the best at something.
In the back of my head, I started to have
this question like, well, could I do that?
My personality once I asked the question
kind of wanted an answer to it.
Like, most people will like,
let's start with a 5K and see if we like it,
and then maybe do a 10K and a half.
I just went straight to marathon.
I'm in San Diego to run the spring sprint.
It's the shortest race of my season.
It's the first race of my season.
And the goal is just to get comfortable,
kind of kick things off.
You want to look around and see where the big banners
are for swim in,
bike out, bike in and run out and do that.
Those are all on the north--
Triathlon is a lot about discomfort.
So, like, it's not fun to bike
in a soaking wet outfit that just came out of the ocean,
but you're much faster
than if you try to change your clothes.
It's not fun to pedal with sandy feet,
but you're much faster if you don't take the time.
So, it's an interesting balance of like how uncomfortable
do I want to be,
versus like how fast do I want to be.
My dad was a cattle rancher and I grew up
on working cattle ranches.
As a kid, I was kind of a chunky kid,
but also like, really body confident
and an athlete.
I played soccer. I played volleyball.
I was a cheerleader and a cheerleading captain.
I also did sort of anything that had a stage
and a spotlight. And I always loved dancing.
But I think partially because I was an athlete,
I got less body shaming and teasing.
I, 100 percent bought into the idea
that a thinner body is a better body,
a healthier body, a body that I wanted to achieve.
I tried as hard as I could to become thin
because I really believed that would make me better.
It was incredibly unhealthy, both physically and mentally.
But I've never been more praised
for my healthy regimen than when I was
at the worst part of my eating disorder.
Ten, nine, eight--
Once again, in the water should be a wave
of ten orange caps. Female 35 to 39 and all Athena.
On deck should be wave 11...
-Feeling okay? -Yeah. How about you?
-I'm nervous. -Yeah.
I haven't raced in two and a half years...
-Yeah. -...it's a semi-retirement.
I am glacially slow.
I am dead last and I totally own dead last.
I don't care what people think about my size or my time.
I'm there. I'm working within the race rules.
This is a goal I have and I'm going to accomplish it.
Like, I'm just out there.
And, you know, I want to do it and so I'm doing it.
And I sort of-- my motto is, show up fat
and refuse to leave.
Three, two, one, go!
Fat people haven't always felt welcome
and aren't always welcome from everyone in these sports.
So visibility is really important to me,
and I kind of can't help myself
but be an activist if I get involved in something.
-Good job. -Thanks, you too.
That was a rough swim. But I made it through.
Third of the way done with this mess.
Onto the bike.
-You go, girl. -Thanks, you too.
In college, I did a lot of social justice work.
Even back to high school, I did a lot of anti-racism work.
I did a lot of queer and trans activism.
But I never thought about fat people as a group of people
who are oppressed.
And then as I went into my 30s is when I sort of,
turned the corner and discovered
Health at Every Size.
And that's really what made me a fat activist.
Originally, I was just going to blog about my experiences
as a fat ballroom dancer.
And then I started to blog more about just social justice
in general and Health at Every Size.
From that blog, I started to get invitations to speak.
-Hello. -Hi.
Give me hugs on the way.
-Good to see you. -Good to see you too.
-Your hair is adorable. -Thank you.
It is my great, great honor to welcome Ragan Chastain
here today. She's actually like...
my all-time fat activist hero.
Learning about Health at Every Size
and size acceptance and learning the truth
about weight and health
really changed my outlook for the better.
Health at Every Size says that understanding
that health is not an obligation,
a barometer of worthiness entirely within our control
or guaranteed under any circumstances,
everyone should have access to the things
that they want for their own prioritization
of their health, and the path they choose to get there.
Health at Every Size takes everything into account
and focuses on actual health rather than a focus
on body size.
Size acceptance is not up for debate,
you either agree with size acceptance
or you're wrong.
Those are the only two options that exist.
Size acceptance is kind of a greater movement
that focuses on making sure
that fat people have the same experiences
and opportunities and access that thin people do.
And this touches on a lot of areas of life.
Fashion is one of them.
Airlines. There are hospitals and medical centers
with beds that won't fit us.
There's this huge issue with just access and equality
that really needs to be addressed.
Everybody should be welcome.
I sort of have the personality to be able to deal with
the crap that comes along with, you know,
being a fat person who's highly visible
and loving themselves and achieving their goals.
I have been trolled daily since 2012.
There hasn't been a day go by.
The first trolling message I ever got
was just an email that said, "Fatty's gonna fat."
My personality is that that's never going to stop me.
So, now I just have to walk three miles
and I can be done and go eat pancakes.
In terms of fat activism, visibility is a major thing.
So my motto is cross finish line,
get medal.
-You got this girl. -You too.
Yeah. Come on give me some. Come on, come on.
Go kill it.
It's always hard for me because I don't like
to be at the back.
Be the one who's like being congratulated.
-You got it! -Awesome job y'all.
So that's hard, to be honest.
Ever since the very beginning of the run for some reason,
the side of my back is like super tight...
and just really hurts with every step so...
I really can't wait to be done with this one.
It's been a rough day.
I get about 10,000 emails every month.
What they're saying is like, I saw myself in that.
I heard what you said, and I, you know, I felt that,
and I've experienced that, and I'm not the only one,
and I'm not alone.
That's a huge part of what's important
and why it's important
that fat people have visibility within athletics
and everywhere.
Instead of just waiting around for thin bodies to show up,
I decided to take my fat body out for a spin
and see what it could do and it turns out
it can do a lot of kind of cool, fun things.
Cross finish line, got metal.
I did that and I didn't quit.
This is about me.
You know, mentally making myself
stay on the course.
Have that mental challenge and overcoming,
that's what the medal means.
It's like I did that. I finished that.