- So can we talk about something?
A little while back, I did a video for my series "True Tea"
about something called race play,
which, by the way, "True Tea" is a podcast
that you guys can check out on all podcast platforms.
And you should definitely check it out
if you guys enjoy having conversations just like this one.
So back then when I had that conversation,
I realized that a lot of you guys are so vanilla
that you have no idea what race play is.
And between you and I,
I think that in this one particular situation,
that's probably a good thing.
Now, race play, to really quickly and roughly summarize it,
is essentially a type of BDSM play
where people are fetishizing people specifically
for their race.
Now, it's not something that only goes one way.
People of all different racial backgrounds
can fetishize people of, well,
all different racial backgrounds.
However, for me personally,
it is something that is almost exclusively presented to me
by white people.
And in every situation it has been presented to me,
it has almost always been without my consent.
And that's why I tend to take a real issue with race play.
Now, that being said,
when I made my initial content about this,
a lot of people thought that
what I was actually expressing was an issue
with interracial relationships.
And as somebody who has three white partners
and one partner who is Mexican and Palestinian,
I would be a hypocrite if I said that I wasn't down
for a little bit of miscegenation here and there.
So that's not really what we're here to talk about.
It's not really so much the interracial relationship aspect.
It's more so that a lot of people who have this desire
to have interracial relationships are often approaching it
from a really stereotypical and fetishistic perspective
that is alienating to people like myself
who tend to constantly be at the other end of fetishism.
So the other day, I came across a post on a race play forum,
and I thought that I would share it (laughs) with you guys
so that you can get kind of a better idea
of what exactly I'm talking about when I discuss race play,
and also I wanted to take some time to break down exactly
why race play is something
that is an absolute no-go for me because, believe it or not,
I frequently end up having debates about this.
Now, fair warning, this post is hella racist,
so if you're somebody who is particularly sensitive
to racial fetishism, I appreciate that you're here,
but you can just come back
and check in with me on the next video.
Now, I'm gonna actually do my best
to hide this person's identity
because even though this makes me incredibly uncomfortable,
I don't really believe in sending my audience
to dog pile people.
But it was such a great example
of why this shit makes me uncomfortable
that I really wanted to share it with you guys.
Okay, so the post that I found was made by a white man
who is an Uber driver.
He identifies as a sissy.
And on his dashboard,
he has a picture of the Pan-African flag
with a spade beneath it,
with the caption, "Yes, I believe in Black supremacy."
Now, spade is a very old-fashioned,
early 20th century slur that was used against Black people.
And in the race play, I guess you could say culture,
it is a term that generally refers
to specifically Black men.
So oftentimes if you hear somebody describe themself
as a queen of spades,
they are essentially a white woman
who enjoys entertaining numerous Black men, often at once.
Now, like I said, this person is an Uber driver.
And the reason why they put this on their dashboard is
because they hope that one day,
they will pick up a Black man,
he will understand exactly what this is communicating,
and they will sort of enter
into a race play dynamic with each other.
So on this post, another white sissy leaves the comment,
"Thank you, I wish more people understood
and feel the way that you do."
In response, the OP says,
"I was and still am a student of history.
I also know Blacks on the whole are very intelligent.
This is why society do their darnedest
to diminish their intellect.
They are fearful of Blacks learning their history."
So one of the things that's really common in race play is
that there is this sort of fixation
on white people sort of doing
the best they can do to apologize for the wrongdoings
of their white ancestors, (laughs) right?
And you'll sort of see this as a theme
throughout a lot of these posts,
where this person is very, very much invested
in apparently doing some sort of reparation
for Black people because of slavery.
So the person they're responding to says,
"It's wonderful to hear.
I have developed a tremendous respect
and admiration for Blacks.
Do you ever get any comments on the pic above?"
OP says, "No, but I think I may have found me a true owner.
I think I will learn a lot from him and not just sexually.
With his attitude, I have no qualms of working for him.
I do enjoy serving Blacks since I was a child
as friends when growing up in upstate New York.
Again when I was in the Army, I turned down many promotions
so that Black soldiers would get the promotion
that whites tried to deny them.
Whenever I can also pay reparation payments
when I can regardless if male, female, or transgender."
There's quite a bit of grammar issues here,
but we're gonna try to read through it.
Person says, "That's such a positive attitude.
I agree with you.
I have learned so much in the past 40 plus years.
I grew up in the south,
and I have seen what Blacks have overcome.
I have tried to give Blacks every chance I can.
I started serving when I was in my 20s.
It's strange how some accept it
and others didn't take it as I thought they would."
So this is a person who obviously has pushed race play
onto people and did not really have a positive reception.
Person responds, "I have never wanted to be R-worded,
but I have been with three men on one occasion.
I am not sure if I can refer to it as R-word
if I consented to the act.
I always seem to get
to know those I have served in the past."
OP responds, "I have resisted sex with men.
My first man experience was when I was 18.
I fought my feelings sexually until recently.
He was a Black god too.
Now I have accepted that my body should also be
for their pleasures.
I hope to take my owner to Palmdale
so he can meet a very close friend I have known
for more than 30 years.
Yes, she is Black, and I have served her
and since protected her against racists.
I've done pro bono work for her,
and now she is in law school,
and we are the closest of friends, and nothing sexual,
as she knows that I tend to lean on the gay side of life.
Oh, being R-worded, I would eagerly serve too."
So these posts are not that bad.
They're pretty bad.
There's this sort of fixation on using their body
to apologize for racism
as an extension of reparations.
But it gets a little worse.
So another person, another white sissy,
starts commenting on the same post, and they say this:
"I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only white boy
who knows that the Black race is the superior race.
Our Black masters and our ebony goddesses.
It is truly an honor and a privilege
to worship our superiors."
OP responds to that by saying,
"Whites owe a lot to all Black people,
regardless of gender or orientation.
Unfortunately, Black history has been ignored
for generations."
Person responds by saying, "I totally agree.
All the white man's treasures combined couldn't come close
to paying for the sins that our ancestors
and we ourselves have committed
against our superior Black masters and our ebony goddesses.
I think Black History Month should be an entire month
of us inferior whites serving the superior race.
Actually, that should be happening already.
There's lots of ways to do it.
I also support a federal holiday
called National Black Race Day
in which all white-owned businesses are required to close,
thus forcing us white people
to spend our money supporting Black-owned businesses,
which should be happening already."
The OP responds by saying,
"Dearest, supporting Black businesses shouldn't have
to be forced."
They say in response, "Exactly."
Now, that is just a very brief,
honestly not even that bad version of race play,
but I remember finding these Tumblr blogs,
and all of these blogs were
about the white man paying the Black man back
by sort of doing these sexual things for them.
And I just really wanted to sort of take (laughs) a moment
to unpack this,
just in case there are people who don't understand
why this is so often offensive to Black people,
because I know that listening to some of these things,
you can hear what they're saying
and sort of read them as a positive, a compliment.
They're talking about supporting Black businesses.
They're talking about reparations.
They're talking about extending Black History Month.
They're talking about things that on paper sound positive,
but there's one catch to all of it.
Every last one of these things
that I just mentioned is directly tied
to their sexual gratification.
When they speak positively about Black people,
they can't do it without viewing us
through a lens of oppression,
and that would lead me to question
whether or not this person would be attracted
to a Black person if said person wasn't oppressed.
On paper, they are being complimentary to Black people,
but it seems as though they have to sort of see Black people
through this very narrow lens in which they are oppressed
and thus inferior to white people.
To me, this leads me to believe that they actually do
in fact see Black people as inferior to them,
and part of what they enjoy doing
within this kink is putting on a performance
that sort of suggests otherwise.
You know, I could be going out on a limb here,
but I'm pretty positive that the very last thing
on an enslaved Black person's mind
was dominating a white person sexually.
And that's actually one of the biggest issues
that I have with race play
as a specifically Black transgender woman
who identifies as a submissive,
is that so frequently when race play is about a Black person
or includes a Black person,
it is about a Black person having sexual dominance
over a white person.
And quite frequently, the subtext of this exchange is
that a white person is submitting to something
that they inherently see as less than them.
And this is very common in probably the most popular way
that you'll see race play as it involves a Black person,
the dynamic of a white couple sleeping with a Black man.
A lot of times you'll sort of see this thing
where a white couple, often a married couple,
is trying to invite a Black man into their bedroom.
And really what it's about (laughs) is sort of seeing
this white woman submit to a man
who she would not often want anything to do with, right?
For some people, the reason why they like this dynamic is
that this white woman is lowering herself
to sleep with somebody who is beneath her
for the satisfaction of her white male partner.
Now, there's a lot of other ways that it occurs.
You'll often also see this sort of idea
of the Black man being sexually superior to the white man.
The white man, theoretically at least,
has the smaller penis and is less good in bed.
And so oftentimes the way that this will sort of appear is
in a coupled relationship
where the Black bull will come in with his BBC
and dominate the white wife
in a way that the white husband never could.
And often in this dynamic,
this sort of transference of power,
where the woman is being dominated by a Black man
and in the process sort of diminishing the value
of her white partner,
what you will often see is the white man will lean heavily
into sissification fetishism, which is probably
why we're seeing this very post on this page.
And I guess what's really wild to me
about all of this is that so frequently,
Black men don't seem to mind.
I don't really understand why.
Especially within the kink community,
I have seen so many Black men lean really heavily
into being the BBC bull for a white couple.
And most of the times, just outside looking in,
that looks like a very demeaning (laughs) position to be in,
so y'all will have to explain to me
why Black men often do say yes to this 'cause I don't know.
I know it's not everyone,
but it's enough for me to be suspicious,
so give me your theories in the comment section below.
I have unfortunately seen the white liberal woman
who posts about Black Lives Matter
and does a lot of sort of loud support
of Black issues turn out to be somebody
who fetishizes Black men specifically.
I've seen it a couple of times.
And frankly, reading stuff like this
where you've got these white people
who are technically saying these things
that sound supportive of Black folks
but are ultimately incredibly (laughs) fetishistic
towards Black people, it does make me kind of wonder
how many people in my life are like this,
people who are loudly supporting these causes
that theoretically are complimentary to me.
How many of these people are just sort of
in their own free time doing this sort of BBC fetishism?
If I got into an Uber
and my white driver had a Pan-African flag
with a spade beneath it,
it would make me incredibly (laughs) uncomfortable.
It would make me feel like somebody is pushing up on me.
Now, like I said, we like to sort of have this thing
in the BDSM community where we say, "Your kink is your kink.
My kink is my kink."
And I really wish I could be
a to each their own kind of person, but like I said,
this sort of shit is so frequently forced onto me
that I can't help but have this really,
really strong stance against it.
I have to put on my profiles, "I'm not into race play.
Race play is racist. Please don't approach me."
And the thing that's crazy to me about all of this is that
if you want the BBC just on its own, by itself,
because that's usually what this is all about,
you can go to adamandeve.com, find one,
and put in the code Kat50
to get 50% off of your purchase. (laughs)
You can find plenty of BBCs on there
without being weird and racist about it.
So again, that's Kat50 at checkout for 50% off.
You can get you a BBC without being racist, I promise you.
But anyway, now that I've explained race play to you guys,
I'm very curious what you guys have to say about it.
How do you feel about race play?
Would you be comfortable or uncomfortable
with somebody presenting it to you?
Let me know what your experiences are
on all sides of the spectrum because this is something
that often I feel alone in discussing,
so it would really help me out to hear more from you guys
about your experiences.
So anyway, on that note, I'll see you guys next time.
Bye!
(soft instrumental hip hop music)