Why do I make promises that I can't keep?
This question came up during my Q&A panel when I was at VidCon over the last weekend
and, oddly enough, it didn't come from the audience
I ran this QnA a little bit differently, because I wanted to answer questions that I ask myself.
Questions like, 'Who am I?' 'Who am I to you guys?' Like, 'why do I make videos?'
How did I get to this point right here, and, more pertinent questions like,
Why do I make promises that I can't keep?
Because if you've been watching my videos for awhile, you know what I'm talking about.
It's not a thing out of maliciousness
Or it's not me outright lying to you guys
I have ambitions
and I wanna reach high and I wanna accomplish them
so I often find myself making promises I don't keep up with
and the panel itself was really, really interesting for me
and I hope it was interesting for the people out in the audience.
Uh, but more than that, it was, uh, a moment of self-reflection for me.
Like it was the moment where I
could just have an honest true discussion
with you guys about who I am
and who I was
and who I want to be and where I'm going with this.
And that question just kinda stuck with me
Because I vaguely answered it on stage
but then I kept thinking about it.
Why? Why do I keep promises that I can't keep?
Why am I not keeping them?
And, and if I can't keep them, then why do I make them in the first place?
Am I not working hard enough to make sure that happens?
Am I lazy? Am I forgetful?
And so,
I'll get to the finer details of this answer
Uh, later on in the video, but
to understand my mindset right now
I have to talk about something that happened just last night.
If you weren't there, we were running a charity livestream over on Twitch.
We weren't doing it over here on YouTube, so don't be surprised if you didn't see it
Um, but we were over there on Twitch
and
it was really, really awesome because Bob flew into town
and we were having so much fun and we were having all these challenge videos that we were doing
Uh, I have a T-shirt challenge that I'm probably going to post a video of later
but then
later on
we had, uh, this guy by the name of AlaskanBlueJay on YouTube
who I met through the Make-A-Wish Foundation while I was at VidCon
and I promised him
that I would bring him on board
for the livestream
and I almost forgot
Uh, but thankfully, I got friends who reminded me to
call him and we called him and had a nice discussion
and he told the story.
This really, really impactful story that resonated throughout the rest of the stream
and I'll try to do it justice right now.
You've probably heard it. He didn't make it up
or nor neither did I.
But it's the story of this young child
walks along the beach
and on this beach
hundreds of starfish wash on shore,
doomed to dry out and die.
But this child walks along and every time he sees one, he picks one up
and he throws it back into the ocean,
giving it another chance at life.
He can't get to all of them
but every morning, this child, on his way to wherever he's going
picks up another starfish and tosses it back into the ocean.
And he does this everyday for awhile.
Day by day, walking along the beach, tossing another starfish back in
And one day,
this old man who's been seeing him do this
comes up to the child
and asks
"Why are you doing this?"
"Hundreds and hundreds of starfish wash up on the shore everyday."
"And you can never save all of them."
"Why even bother?"
"You're not making a difference."
And the child looked at the man
and looked down at the ground at the starfish at his feet.
He picked up that starfish and tossed it back in the ocean.
and said
"It mattered to that one."
And that's the story
and it's a simple story with a simple message meaning that
if you do something
even in the grand scheme of
the huge insurmountable obstacle that is the bigger problem
if you chip in just a little bit,
it'll go so far.
But then almost immediately after he told that story
We're just talking there.
He started screaming
Jay
AlaskanBlueJay
started screaming through the phone
and we didn't know what to make of it.
I thought maybe the TV was on or maybe
or it was like a joke
or a prank. I had no idea.
But
what happened was
his defibrillator in his chest went off
right on stream.
And it scared the crap out of me.
It scared the crap out of everybody. Everyone in stream
was so scared.
And I didn't really know what to do. I tried to
stay calm about the situation. He went to the hospital immediately.
I tried to stay in contact with him. As of right now,
I believe he is at home resting
It was, as he was told, it was probably a malfunction
more than something life threatening but, they are monitoring him
and he is doing okay
and as an aside, if you could send some love to him, he has a YouTube channel
AlaskanBlueJay, I'll put a link in the description.
But the point here is
after that story was told
and after he went to the hospital, and after that big scare,
uh, Kathryn helped start this campaign
of one dollar donations.
We had one hundred thousand dollar goal for this charity livestream to go to Able Gamers
and we were behind.
We were actually behind
Uh, and then Kathryn
kinda like started this "March of Dollars"
where if someone donated
we could see who donated, and if they left a comment
she asked that they comment "Starfish."
And for those of you who don't know who don't know, Kathryn is my editor
and good friend
and, uh, they commented "starfish"
and after that, not only did the chat take it upon themselves to start the hashtag #PrayForJay
but also
they really, really rallied behind this concept.
That these
one dollar donations
could make all the difference in the world
and then we saw, like, the counter
steadily rocket up. Names were flying by.
Everyone was saying "starfish." People were donating
for other people, saying "Here's twenty starfish."
"Here's a hundred starfish."
Someone donated a thousand dollars
and was like, "Here"
"Here's starfish for everybody who couldn't be there and can't donate."
And it was this beautiful, beautiful thing, this avalanche of one dollar donations
The- the representation of what that meant
in the face of being scared for Jay
and- and after there, I kept up with him.
He gave us an update when he went to the hospital.
He tried to stay on the stream.
He tried to actually, like, watch the stream while he was in the hospital
which I applaud that so much
and- and- and it was this beautiful, beautiful thing
that came out of me just meeting
this one guy
and him telling a simple story
and everyone chipping in one dollar donations.
And- and without that,
I don't even know if we would've made our goal.
And this all ties into the question:
"Why do I make promises that I can't keep?"
Because I made a promise to Jay
that I would bring him on the stream
and I almost forgot.
Not out of maliciousness, but just because I got caught up with other things
and I got busy and allowed myself to become complacent.
And I don't mean to turn his tradgedy
into something that it's not
but without that
I don't think we would've had the drive to keep going.
I don't think it would've resonated as hard as it did.
And so when I ask myself, "Why do I make promises that I can't keep?"
and I think about the answer I gave on stage.
All of that is bullshit.
If I make a promise and I don't keep it,
I am bullshit.
Because if I didn't keep my promise,
what would've we missed out on?
I wouldn't have been able to talk to Jay and get to know him
and you guys wouldn't know his story
and we may not have made our goal
and how many times in the past have I made promises that I didn't keep
and what opportunities did I miss
because of that?
I don't wanna do that ever again.
I'm almost twenty-eight; I'm gonna be twenty-eight in two days here
and I do not wanna live my life making promises that are
empty
in- in all the ambition
and all the-the swept up nature of the tour
and- and going doing these ambitous projects and going to VidCon
and going to conventions and meeting people
and doing quote-unquote "bigger projects"
I- I feel like I've lost sight
of the small things that made it important
for what I do here.
And- and I made excuses for it
and-and I've relied on the fact that I'm so
happy that my friends are here
to support me
and- and my friends are here with me
who have been with me for YEARS
and Bob, who flew into town for me
just for this stream because it's a cause that he believed in
and he wanted to join me in this fun day that we had
and it was the most fun stream we've had for a long time
and it was all because
and- and it was all because
we were all able to band together and we were able to keep this one promise
and we're able to keep doing these things
over and over again
and we're able to keep doing them in the future
because that's what's important.
This community is what's important
and you
you're what's important about this channel.
That is the only thing that keeps me going
and it so easy for me to forget it.
Even if I'm focused on the why and I know
in my heart that
I'm doing this for you
and I'm doing this because I love to do this,
even that isn't enough.
Because if I let this slip through the cracks,
And I know I'm not perfect,
but if I let something as important as a promise go by
[I mean]
What am I, then?
With that grand statement
and, uh, a bunch of wordiness
what I'm here to say is that
I'm here
for you
Because I owe everything that I have to you.
and if I'm going to be in this position where I can talk to millions of people out there
and try and steer this community in a direction that I think is
genuinely good
then I have to hold myself to a higher standard.
Not just in being better as an entertainer,
but being better
as a reliable friend.
And so, I will make
one promise starting off
this new
age of Markiplier
where my word is my bond.
The schedule, starting tomorrow, will be
back and will never falter.
Eight and Twelve, PST
You'll get videos
and I will tie in the ambition that I have.
I will tie in the lofty goals that I have.
And I will keep these promises, and whenever,
I promise you guys something
even if it's here through a video
or if it's when I'm meeting you in person,
if I promise it, it's going to happen.
And I guarantee that.
'Cuz if I don't keep those promises, I'm not worthy
of you guys giving me even a moment of your time.
So I know this got serious, I know it did
Uh, and- and I feel like it had to
after the emotions of the tour and the-the windstorm
of Vidcon and coming back for the charity livestream
and just this blur
of the past few weeks and then approaching my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY)
which I- I think you guys know that I don't really care about my birthday
I- uh
I just wanna say
this is
the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
What you guys have given me
is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
And I should treat it as such.
So thank you so much for watching
and thank you to Chica
because Chica was the hero of the livestream because
uh- uh all that aside, the one
individual that made the most donations
was Chica because
we did a Pet-a-thon
and there is a infinite pet-debt.
"Chica do you mind me picking you up just for a little bit?"
Moved the chair a widdle bit
But Chica was the true hero of this livestream
and I owe her a one hundred thousand pets
from each and every one of you guys
[baby voice] because we did an amazing job there
and you were a great bub.
You like [giggles] she's just like, "Eh"
"This again"
Aw,
I hope you know how much I love you.
And I mean it
A hundred percent mean it
There is no lie here
There's no
false promises here
This is everything to me <3
So thank you everybody so much for watching
Thank you Chica for being there
Thank you my friends
who supported me
Thank you Bob who flew into town
Thank you AlaskanBlueJay
for staying so strong and thank you everybody that I met
over this past weekend
And as always
[cute baby pupper voice] we will see YOU
[normal] in the next video
Buh-bye!
Bye, bub!
Bopitty-bop-bop-bop
Who's a puppy, puppy, bub?
Love you
Okey
we'll letchu down
Good girl!
"Who's a goodie puppy?"
"Who's a good puppy?"
"Who's a good puppy!"
"Whoseagoodpuppy"
Oh, you're not supposed to jump up"
"Don't up, don't jump"
Even though I'm telling you to jump
Don't jump
Don't do it
Oh no