It’s the Transfer Market Player Clearance Auction with Fabrizio Romano
Today we are raising funds for the David Ornstein appeal after his stall
mysteriously burnt down…
I know it was you Romano!
What in the name of Pavarotti, how dare you!
The only fire I’m responsible for are my tweets!
Ciao!
First up at today’s player clearance auction is Andre Onana…
what’s his name?
Onana What’s his name?
Onana Ha!
I’m pulling your leg Oh, excuse me if I forget to laugh
Sorry, carry on.
He’s a great goalie with exceptional feet… as he’s demonstrating with David Ornstein’s
phone No!
Oh what a shame, now you won’t be able to copy and paste my tweets…
Up yours Romano!
Don’t worry Erik, I paid Onana to do that…
Well even if you didn’t, Onana’s footwork is still better than De Gea’s - I’ll take
him!
£40m!
Inter want £50m That’s fair enough, £40m!
£50m and I’ll throw in a box of his wife’s pills
NO!
Not a chance, I don’t want him getting suspended again!
Okay, £50 million and I’ll throw in Romelu Lukaku
What?
Black Wout Weghorst, no chance What?!
Okay, £50m and I’ll throw in…
Jonny Evans on a two game deal Ha, you’re kidding right?
Well it’s either that or you have to play Harry Maguire in your pre-season friendlies
£50m done deal and here we go!
Hey, that’s trademarked!
See you tomorrow for the Hojlund auction!!!
Next up we have Jordan Henderson…
Saudi Pro League!!!
WHAT THE HELL JORDAN?
Sorry boss I want to join El Ettifaq
El Whothefaq?
My hero Stevie G is their new boss, boss Well he won’t be for long - HA
Saudi Pro League!!!
WHAT THE HELL!
FABINHO TO AL ITTIHAD FOR £40m, done deal and here we go!
STOP STEALING MY PLAYERS!!!
Saudi Pro League!!!
WHAT THE HELL!
JORDAN, THINK ABOUT YOUR LGBTQ STATEMENTS!
BOSS, THINK ABOUT ME BANK STATEMENTS!
YOUR MORALS ARE ON THE FLOOR!
JUST LIKE GERRARD IN 2014!
You’re bang out of order!
Henderson to El Ettifaq for £10m, done deal and here we go!
Saudi Pro League!!!
OH NO YOU DON’T!
NOT LUIS DIAZ!!!!!!
NOT LUIS DIAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!!!!
EXCLUSIVE - the whole liverpool team to the…
SAUDI PRO LEAGUE DONE DEAL AND HERE WE GO!
NO!!!!!
STOP STEALING MY PLAYERS!!!
What do you mean you don’t do refunds?
All sales are final Yes, you tell him Fabreezio!
This item is defective That item’s been defective since the 2021
Champions League final He missed every single shot in the MLS All
Star Skills Challenge!!!
Sorry Mikel, not our “fugging” problem!
How about I make it your fugging problem!
GASP I think it’s our fugging problem
You can tell Mikel has just flown in from the States!
Refund or I start shooting!
Let’s hope is aim is as bad as Kai’s LAST CHANCE!
Okay, okay, keep your lego hair on - I can offer you an exchange…
Who for?
Wesley Fofana!
Really?
Really!
Your world class £75m centre-back!
Our world class £75m central-back! Boss, wait…
Shut up Kai!
Yes, shut up Kai!
Deal!
Awesome!
I’ll send Wesley round later Done deal and here we go!
Adios Kai!
HAHA!
We’ve robbed Chelsea blind!
Does he know Fofana has ruptured his achilles?
It would appear not.
But it’s not our “fugging” problem!
Hahahahahahaaaaa.
Hey Kai, have you ever ridden a camel before?
Oh no…
Make sure to follow me, Fabrizio Romano, and not David Ornstein, for all the latest transfer
news!
And the window, slams…
AAAAAAHHHH!
WHAT IN THE NAME OF POMPEII!!!
HERE I GO!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN YOU ORNSTEIN…
Siren emoji…
Mikel Arteta has just found out Wesley Fofana has an ACL problem
AND NOW IT’S GOING TO BE TODD AND FABRIZIO’S FUGGING PROBLEM!