It's officially March, which means it's time
to fill out your bracket for the big NCAA Tournament.
But what if you don't like watching basketball?
Hmm? Maybe you think it hurts the ball
every time they bounce it on the floor.
Yes, you're a weirdo, but still...
we have just the tournament for you.
I'd like to introduce The Daily Show's
Trump's Best Word Bracket.
-(laughter, applause) -You see...
you see, President Trump has the best words.
And how do we know this?
Because... he told us.
I know words. I have the best words.
You know, I went to an Ivy League college.
I know a lot of words.
I have, like, this incredible vocabulary.
I guarantee I have a vocabulary better than all of them.
Believe it or not, I watch my words very carefully.
There are those that think I'm a very stable genius.
-Yeah. -(laughter, groans)
Yeah. There you go.
Trump may be bad at disease control,
immigration, domestic policy and literally everything else,
but when it comes to words,
he truly is the best.
So for March, just for March, we are hosting a tournament
to pick his best, best word.
Because, let me tell you,
he's got a lot of them.
In, uh, 1870,
President U-licious S. Grant...
President Franklin De-lay-no Roosevelt...
He was awarded the Bronze Star
and the Combat Infantroopen Badge.
...heart, lung and liver transpants.
You're gonna see some sta-ticks...
suh-tick-six coming out...
...by anonommmess...
really an anomonissss...
You know, we just set another slock rocket...
You saw that, right?
The stock market...
I hope they now go and take a look at the oranges,
the oranges of the, uh, uh, investigation.
The beginnings.
...expectations in the House
for the midtowm... and midturn year.
...and God bless the United Shaysh.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
-(applause, cheering) -I don't know about you guys,
but I...
-I've never heard better words. -(laughter)
That clip makes me proud to live in the United Shaysh.
And I know a lot of... a lot of what happened there
had the haters going, "Oh, does Trump have dentures?
"Was his mouth dry?
Did Russia attack his tongue?"
No!
Trump just came up with a better word
for the country, and he used it.
Because our president has the best words.
And thank God he does.
You see, with so much uncertainty in the world,
the volatility of the slock rocket,
-(laughter) -all the negative climate suh-tick-six,
and so many Americans waiting for organ transpants,
it's comforting to know that we have a president
who comes from a higher place, unlike the rest of us,
who come from humble oranges.
(laughter)
And I could play... I could play clips of Trump all day
saying Trumpy words, but I'm not gonna do that.
Okay, I am gonna do that.
Declaring the whole state
to be a "stankchuary" for criminal...
Waive all "apliculibulls" state taxes.
Made a "pivittible..."
Really, and, I mean, this was pivotal.
A lot of work has been done. A lot of "renoversh."
If you look at some of it...
Shield and shelter "criminacle..."
Look, look, look.
"Heroilynn" alone,
if you look at the heroin epidemic.
"Veneswaylass..."
By "Venezwellzso..."
"Venezwhalezz..."
As Hurricane "Ermer" approaches...
In April of 20,014...
These historic "accomplimenshayz..."
Working to improve this country and "duurrrr" government.
"Enen" they "annouced" there was no "byesno..."
(laughter)
See that?
Trump is so great at words,
he doesn't even need to open his mouth to say them.
And, by the way, I want to take a second
to congratulate our graphics department
for fitting that word on the screen.
-Yeah. -(cheering and applause)
Really powerful. Well done, guys.
Three...
Three of our designers died in the attempt,
but it was worth it.
And of course, who can forget
the devastation of Hurricane "Ermer"?
So many "herms" were destroyed.
Sorry, guys. I didn't mean to be a "bermer."
(laughter)
So, what is Trump's best word?
Well, there are 64 for you to choose from,
and we've put them together in a bracket.
All you can do is pick the best noun,
adjective or whatever you like.
Just go to DailyShowBracket.com, and there,
you can watch every video of the clips and every word,
and you let us know which ones you think are the best.
Round one is open now, so please go and start picking.
Because Donald Trump has done many great things,
but the words he gives us will live on
as his most important "accomplimenshayz."