does your child keep hitting other children or maybe hitting you or other adults in this short
video i'm going to tell you exactly what to do in seven easy steps to teach and train them not
to hit others but also i'm going to tell you how a child's incident of hitting can be a little window
into them learning about gratefulness hi i'm holly mclean the mommy answer lady i'm a certified
parent educator and a mom of nine and i'm all about helping parents stop struggling so please
take this moment right now and subscribe to this channel so you can see when new videos post here
there are three basic reasons a child will hit others one they're just being silly so
they're just playing and don't realize hitting is not fun for the other person
two frustration or anger they are inappropriately expressing these emotions by lashing out
or three bullying they are trying to show dominance over someone else
as i've said with other inappropriate behaviors the reasons matter for the follow-up
but in most circumstances the parental response should be the same regardless of the reason this
is because regardless of the reason hitting isn't an appropriate response once you've
taken action to stop the behavior the follow-up will address the issues that cause the hitting
so here's what to do when your child hits number one immediately address it without anger go to the
child and stop them from continuing or call them to you if you observed it or became aware that it
had happened remove them from the situation number two have them recognize the injury they caused
if the child that they hit is hurt crying or upset then take them to the child and
have them look at them do not be harsh or angry and do not point a finger or yell but let them
soak in the way their actions have caused harm to the other person have them look them in the
face make sure that they see their tears number three have an initial eye to eye conversation
have them face you and look you in the eye tell them directly that hitting is not appropriate
and by their choice of actions they have hurt another person this would be true whether or not
the other person is crying or upset they still need to be told hitting hurts another person
number four let them think about their actions let them know that they need to
sit in a designated place until they're ready to discuss the matter now this is not time out
it is instead allowing them time to calm down and then to come to you to address the situation when
they're not in the heat of the moment let them know that when they're ready which could be a
minute it could be five minutes or ten minutes whatever time they need is okay in other words
you're not setting them out as a punishment you're setting them out to get control of themselves
so they will be ready to have a conversation and learn number five have a follow-up conversation
when they're ready to talk they will come to you and then you have a follow-up conversation
to discuss the reasons for the behavior and what they could have done differently this conversation
is teaching them or giving them information so this is the time to talk to them about what to do
instead of hitting number six encourage apologies after they have come to understand the problem
with hitting let them know that to remedy the situation they will need to apologize
to the parties involved and you know what you are involved too they need to apologize to the person
they hit but also to you because their behavior caused a problem that you had to deal with
now this may seem strange to some of you but this is a part of teaching a child gratefulness they
need to understand what others do for them and how their own actions affect others and not just the
direct results of their actions like the person they hit but all the ripple effects caused by them
by recognizing your role as a parent in dealing with their behavior
it helps them think about that and can be the beginnings of gratitude toward you as a parent
this whole event is an opportunity to teach them about recognizing the feelings of others and that
includes you as a parent so if they are ready to apologize right then go ahead and let them do
that if they resist don't push it you want them to come to their own conclusion that it is necessary
so if they aren't ready that's okay tell them they can go sit down until they have thought about it
more and are ready to take care of the problem then leave them alone let them think but be sure
that they are not occupied or entertained with anything that would distract them from thinking
about it when they're ready to apologize to those they have hurt they will come to you and let you
know number seven role play this step may be done at the moment if it is appropriate but can't also
be done later if need be the role playing is a training session role play the incident with your
child and have them practice doing the right thing in response to the reason for their behavior have
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to this channel i'd love to read your comments below parents you can do this thanks for watching