-In a surprise move, the judge in Donald Trump's
New York fraud trial allowed him to speak
during closing arguments today,
less than a day after Trump and his lesser-known GOP rivals
each took to the airwaves
to make their case for the GOP nomination.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪
Today, the judge overseeing
Trump's $370 million civil fraud trial
heard closing arguments in the case,
which could very well wipe out Trump's business empire
and put a sizable dent in his personal wealth.
And even if you know nothing about the merits of the case,
I think you can tell how it's going
from the scowl on Trump's face in the courtroom today
and the smile on the face
of New York Attorney General Letitia James.
As a general rule, you never want to look over
at the prosecutor in your court case
and see them making this face,
especially when you're used to lawyers who only make this face.
[ Laughter ]
The only time Rudy has ever smiled in court
was when he found a dollar clipped
to his closing arguments.
[ As Giuliani ] "Hey, boss!
Look what I found inside my Trapper Keeper!"
Now, Trump had already asked to deliver his own
closing arguments in the case, but the judge refused
because Trump wouldn't agree to follow basic rules
like sticking to material and relevant information,
instead of, you know, going on and on
for 20 minutes about windmills or toilets that don't flush.
But then today, the judge relented
and gave Trump five minutes to speak in the courtroom.
And Trump, of course, used it to whine about his usual BS.
-As we speak, former President Trump
is in a courtroom in New York speaking.
No cameras in this courtroom, but as we understand it,
he is going on a bit of a monologue right now.
-Trump's attorney, Chris Kise, summarized his argument.
Other attorneys got up to summarize theirs.
But then Chris Kise got up just a few moments ago
and asked if former President Trump could address the court.
And he then launched into what our colleagues
who were inside describe
as a monologue, telling the court
"the facts are the financial statements are perfect.
There are no witnesses against us.
The banks got all their money paid back.
They were great loans.
This was a political witch hunt.
We have a situation where I am an innocent man."
He said, "I'm being persecuted
by somebody running for office."
-Trump has immediately launched
into an attack of the attorney general.
You know, he's saying that she hates Trump
and is just using him to -- using this case to get elected.
-It's always so weird to hear reporters read Trump's remarks.
It's like listening to a tourist read a menu
in a language they don't speak. [ Laughter ]
"I just left the courtroom
where Trump was delivering his remarks to the court.
He told the judge, 'You hate Trump.
You're a Trump hater. This is a witch hunt.
Just like Russia, Russia, Russia.
It was a perfect document,
just like it was a perfect phone call.
This case has no merit, and you should just kill it...
like how windmills are killing birds.
One day a bird... came up to me --
big bird, strong bird,
tears pouring down his beady little eyes
and onto his weird little beak --
and he said to me,
he said, "Mr. Trump, sir, you're totally innocent.
Squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk."'
The defendant continued making squawking noises
for several minutes, and then he said, 'So anyway,
that's where the term legal eagle comes from,'
which is not true.
And then the defendant began dancing to 'YMCA,'
even though there was no music playing in the courtroom.
Back to you...
Back to you, and please don't ever come back to me."
[ Chuckles ]
These latest legal developments come less than a day
after some major news in the presidential race.
Three things happened in the GOP primary last night.
Chris Christie dropped out.
Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis
took part in a junior varsity debate on CNN,
and Trump counter-programmed them
with his own town hall on Fox News,
where he once again could not decide
between sitting on the high chair they gave him
or standing on the stage,
resulting in an awkward in-between
where he straddled the chair with his wide stance like it
was one of those extra tall toilets they sell at Home Depot.
[ Laughter ]
I mean, good lord, he looks like Spider-Man
looking out over the city.
Why don't you guys just sit in regular,
comfortable chairs made for normal humans?
I'm not sure who makes the final call here, but I have a feeling
Trump is the one who keeps requesting these tall chairs
because he thinks it makes him look commanding,
when in reality it makes him look like
he's balancing on a city bike at a red light.
[ Laughter ]
But the biggest news yesterday was arguably not
what anyone said in front of the cameras,
but what was said behind closed doors,
because right before his announcement
that he was dropping out, Christie was caught on a hot mic
giving his honest opinions of Haley and DeSantis.
But the mic was cut off mid-sentence
just as it was about to get good.
-She hasn't even been...
-She's still 20 points behind Trump
in New Hampshire, right? -Yeah. Oh, yeah.
-And he's still going to carry Iowa, right?
-Yes. Oh, he's --
-Petrified that you would, what, endorse Haley?
Reveal his true height?
Teach children about slavery?
[ Laughter ]
Maybe DeSantis was petrified
that Trump had a new nickname for him.
You thought Meatball Ron was bad.
Get ready for Ron DePampers.
So now that Christie has dropped out,
the field of Trump alternatives
has narrowed even further.
There's Vivek Ramaswamy, who everyone hates.
He's like if a tech bro made an AI of an even worse tech bro.
That dude blows harder than the open door on Alaska Airlines.
[ Laughter, groaning ]
[ Laughter ]
That's the sound it makes when the door comes off.
[ Laughter ]
"Oh..."
[ Laughter ]
Then there's DeSantis and Haley,
the only two non-Trump candidates
polling high enough to qualify for last night's CNN debate,
who chose once again not to attack the frontrunner,
but rather to take turns yelling at each other
and repeating mostly incoherent talking points for two hours.
They each came prepared with their pre-planned lines.
Haley, for example,
kept name-checking a website about DeSantis
she wanted everyone to go to.
-What we're going to do is rather than have him go
and tell you all these lies, you can go to DeSantisLies.com.
Go to DeSantisLies.com,
and you can find out for yourself.
Stop lying. DeSantisLies.com.
That is not true. DeSantisLies.com.
DeSantisLies.com. DeSantisLies.com.
DeSantisLies.com.
DeSantisLies-- DeSantisLies--
DeSantisLies-- DeSantisLies.com.
It's a shame that we had to put up DeSantisLies.com.
-Alright, alright, we get it.
I haven't seen someone plug a website
this much since they renamed Staples Center Crypto.com.
Oh, maybe Haley can get the naming rights
to a football stadium.
I mean, she'd have to find
a team that's really desperate.
So I guess welcome to the new home of the New York Jets.
[ Laughter ]
It's amazing how bad these people
are at branding compared to Trump.
Haley's wasting her time plugging a new website
she probably built on Squarespace
with a discount from a podcast promo code.
Meanwhile, Trump called DeSantis a meatball once
and his campaign was [bleep] over.
[ Laughter ]
And for, his part, DeSantis also confused
everyone by robotically quoting Ronald Reagan,
but didn't even pick a famous
Reagan quote that everyone knows.
He chose a quote from Reagan's 1976 speech
at the Republican National Convention,
in which Reagan said something about painting
in bold colors, not pale pastels.
DeSantis kept repeating that mysterious phrase.
-We need to fly a flag of bold colors,
carrying the banner of putting the American people first,
not the pale pastels of the warmed-over
corporatism of people like Nikki Haley.
You should work with corporate CEOs.
-Thanks, governor. -That is pale pastels.
We need to run under the banner of bold colors
that are putting the American people first.
We can't run under a banner of pale pastels.
-"Pale pastels" sounds like a safe word
you'd use during an orgy on Easter.
"Pale pastels! Pale pastels!
Sorry, it's just someone's toe is in my ear."
[ Laughter ]
"No, I liked it at first."
[ Laughter ]
The point is, the also-rans, just days before
the first votes are cast, mostly wasted their time
with pointless nonsense last night,
while Trump, the far-and-away frontrunner,
was on Fox News during his usual shtick.
For example, at one point he was asked
about a recent congressional report that found he collected
millions in payments from foreign companies,
most notably China, during his presidency.
And not only did Trump refuse to take responsibility
or separate himself from his business for the second time,
he made up a completely fictional story
about George Washington to defend himself.
-You know, there is this report,
House Democrats' documents that say that nearly $8 million
in payments to your businesses from foreign governments,
China included, Saudi Arabia, while you were in office.
They say article one of the Constitution says
you can't accept money from foreign governments
while president.
Would you pledge to divest from your
business in a second term, as other presidents have done?
That's what they're reporting.
-I own hotels all over the -- I don't get free money.
You know, George Washington was a very rich man.
People don't know that.
In his, essentially, White House, which wasn't built,
but they had an office, he had a business desk
and he had a country desk right next to each other.
You're allowed to do that.
-Now, it won't surprise you to learn
that Washington's estate at Mount Vernon
has said they have no idea what Trump's talking about,
and I understand why they want to issue a denial,
because otherwise they'll get MAGA tourists
asking to see both desks.
"Hey, can you show us the room
where Washington did all his secret deals?
You know, at the business desk?"
I mean, how would that even work?
He had two separate desks next to each other,
one for business and one for president stuff?
You're making it sound like a '90s sitcom episode.
[ As Trump ] "And then of course, he mixed it up once
and did business at the country desk,
which is how we got the Louisiana Purchase.
Not a lot of people know that, 'cause it's not true.
I just made it up." [ Laughter ]
Trump can't even be bothered to cover up his corruption well.
For example, the Fox hosts also asked him
about his repeated calls for retribution
and revenge on the campaign trail.
His allies are already drawing up plans
to use the Justice Department to go after perceived enemies,
but Trump's denial was very unconvincing.
-When you're in your rallies,
you spend a lot of time talking about retribution,
and so there are questions about how much a second term
of a Donald Trump presidency,
second term, would be about retribution
and looking backwards at grievances
and how much would be looking forward.
-Well, first of all, a lot of people would say
that that's not so bad.
Look what they did -- Russia, Russia, Russia hoax,
the FBI Twitter hoax,
the 51 intelligence agents hoax,
all of these different hoaxes that they did.
I mean, you know, a lot of people would say that's
probably quite normal.
I'm not going to have time for retribution.
We're going to make this country so successful again
I'm not going to have time for retribution.
-Sorry. Are we supposed to find that reassuring?
You won't seek retribution
not because it's a terrible thing to do,
but because you'll be too busy? [ Chuckles ]
That's like if you asked Hannibal Lecter
if he plans on eating any more people
and he said, "Oh, absolutely not.
I had a big lunch." [ Laughter ]
It's even less reassuring when that answer comes
just hours after Trump sent out a fundraising e-mail
to his supporters that said, in all caps -- and this is real --
"I am your retribution!"
when it clearly should have said,
"I am your retribution (time permitting)."
Trump's rivals still can't bring themselves to go after him,
even when he's facing a fraud trial
that could wipe out his entire business empire.
And judging from his face in court,
he's definitely worried about it.
He's so scared he's white as a sheet.
He should change his name to...
-Pale pastels.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
Hey, everybody. Thanks for watching "A Closer Look."
And as a reminder, my brother, Josh, and I
have started a new podcast
called "Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers."
We hope you listen. We hope you like it.
We'll see you soon.